Tip One: It’s the First Day of School for Everyone
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Everyone has jitters on the first day and during the first week or so of school. Let your child know that everyone in the class is going to have the same fears as your child. Everyone is worried they won’t have friends or that they will be the last one picked as a partner.
Tip Two: Encourage them to be Themselves
While everyone wants to fit in, it is important that your child knows the best way to make friends is to be themselves. Let them know that it is okay to pick up a new “like” such as if their new friend likes the Jonas Brothers, it is natural for them to have an interest in the Jonas Brothers, but they don’t want to go out and buy everything that their new friend has.
Tip Three: Encourage them to Speak Up
It is never okay for one child to make another child feel like they are less important than someone else. That is true for adults as well; we are all equally incredible in our own ways. If your child is being bullied by someone at school tell your child how important it is that they let their teacher know. They also need to let you know. We had an incident with our son being bullied on the bus. He would complain to the bus driver and the bus driver would just tell him to sit down. We called the principal of the school and transportation to complain. The other child tried to say it was the other way around. THANKFULLY, the bus had video on it and we requested that the video be pulled so it could be viewed and it showed what was happening.
It is sad and scary how frequent bullying happens. If your child is acting like they don’t want to go to school or get on the bus, or they come home with bruises or missing items, talk to them and find out what is going on.
Tip Four: Don’t Embarrass Them
As much as it kills you (as it does me) don’t kiss them goodbye in front everyone if they don’t lean towards you first. Our son is such a momma’s boy… unless there are others around. Actually it was last school year that he even stopped saying “I love you,” if anyone was in ear shot. It broke my heart, but at the same time it was a growth moment. He still hugs and kisses me at home and tells me he loves me, so the world is still okay.
Tip Five: Teach them the Importance of a Smile
Chances are pretty good that on the first day of school there are other shy kids that are afraid to be the first to talk to anyone. So tell your child if there is another child that they want to talk to they should smile at them and say hello. It is amazing the impact of a simple smile and the small phrase, “Hi.”
Tip Six: Talk to their Friends Parents
If your child has a best bud, take a moment and talk to the parents of that best bud. Find out what class their child is going into, what bus they are riding, if they plan on having their child buy lunch or pack. These things can help make it so that your child is able to spend some time with someone familiar the first few days of school.
Tip Seven: Ask About Their Day
Be excited about their school day. Ask how their day was and then listen to what they tell you. I should note that you need to actively listen. Show them that you are interested in what happened at school so they know that you are really excited about what excited them.
How do I help my child feel less nervous about the first day of school?
Remind them that every single child in that class is feeling the same way — worried about making friends, afraid of being picked last as a partner, uncertain about a new environment. Knowing their nervousness is completely normal, not a sign something is wrong with them, takes some of the pressure off. Then give them a simple tool: teach them that a smile and a genuine ‘Hi’ are often all it takes to open a door with another shy kid who’s waiting for someone to go first.
What should I do if my child is being bullied at school or on the bus?
Tell your child they must speak up — to you and to their teacher. If the immediate adults aren’t responding, escalate. The article shares a real example: a son bullied on the bus was repeatedly dismissed by the driver, so his parents called both the school principal and the transportation department. When the other child tried to deny it, the bus video was pulled and showed everything clearly. If your child suddenly refuses to go to school or the bus, comes home with bruises, or items start going missing, ask directly what’s happening — don’t wait for them to bring it to you.
How do I help my shy child make friends on the first day of school?
A smile and a simple ‘Hi’ go a long way, especially on the first day when there are always other shy kids waiting for someone else to make the first move. Encourage your child to be themselves rather than wholesale adopting a new friend’s interests to fit in — there’s a difference between being open to something new and pretending to be someone you’re not. If your child has a friend already, coordinate with that family ahead of time to find out what class, bus, or lunch period they share so your child has a familiar face nearby.
How do I stay connected with my child about their school experience?
Ask about their day with real curiosity, then actively listen to what they tell you — not just a polite nod but genuine engagement with whatever excited or upset them. The article also notes a social reality worth knowing: don’t kiss them goodbye in front of their peers unless they lean toward you first. Letting your child set that public boundary is a normal growth moment; what matters is that the affection still exists at home, where it counts.
As hard as it is for them to remember, the whole notion of everyone feeling nervous and unsure on the first day of school is so important. I remember as a kid not being able to sleep at all the night before school started every year. I always knew all my classmates and in many cases most of my teachers, but I was still all wired up about returning. This year my daughter is already nervous and I know she won’t be able to sleep the night before without a good cup of sleepytime tea.