by Stacey Schifferdecker
Every once in a while, we see an article in the news about a woman giving birth at age 65 or 66. We don’t hear as much about older fathers, although 80-year-old Hugh Hefner made news earlier this year when he announced that he and his girlfriend were considering having a baby. While new parents over age 60 are rare, the fact is that more and more people in their forties and fifties are having children. 20% of women now wait until age 35 to have their first babies and a 2005 study showed that the birth rate for women in their early to mid-40s had grown 5% in the last decade. What special challenges and rewards await these mid-life parents?
For older parents, the worries can begin even before pregnancy. Women over 40 years of age are at greater risk of complications during pregnancy. Rates of pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, and miscarriage all rise, as do the rates of Down syndrome in the child. Paternal age can make a difference too: studies have shown a link between advanced paternal age and [tag-ice]Down syndrome[/tag-ice] and schizophrenia in their children. Because of these greater risks, women who are pregnant after 40 need to be even more vigilant about seeking prenatal care and taking care of themselves during pregnancy. In fact, they should visit their doctor before they become pregnant, in order to get as healthy as possible before the pregnancy begins.
On a more positive note, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have concluded that the current interest in health and fitness is greatly benefiting older women, who “may find themselves in better shape than they were at a younger age.” This greater health and fitness is also useful for parents after their children are born. One great challenge of parenting is simply the physical demands of keeping up with an active child. Because a decline in energy is a natural part of aging, this can be a special concern for older parents. Fortunately, having children can keep you feeling young. As author Pamela Shires Sneddon, who had three children after age 40, explains, “The reality is, as an older parent, regardless of how I might feel, I’m kept from focusing on age-related aches and pains by the demands of those who assume I have limitless energy.” It also helps to follow the guidelines for healthy living we all know – eat right, get enough sleep, exercise, and don’t smoke. In addition, older parents should see their doctors regularly for physicals and preventive care. By taking special care of themselves, they can increase the odds they will be around for years to come.
[tag-cat]Parenting[/tag-cat] after 40 can also come with emotional and financial challenges. Older parents do not enjoy being mistaken for their child’s grandparent or worrying about teething when all their friends are worrying about broken curfews. They also don’t enjoy putting money into a college fund when their retirement fund lies empty. However, as many challenges as there are for older parents, there are just as many rewards—for parents and children alike. Older parents tend to spend more time with their children and to be more patient. Their life experiences have given them a wiser perspective, so they don’t worry as much about spilled juice or scraped knees. Instead, they are able to revel in the joys of parenting. As [tag-tec]Susan Segal[/tag-tec], who had her first child at age 41, writes, “We would like to be younger – who wouldn’t. But then we wouldn’t have the kids we have, or the experiences we’re having now. With all the aches and pains and exhaustion and embarrassment and headaches, we’d do it all again in a heartbeat.”
What are the health risks of pregnancy after 40?
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Women over 40 face higher rates of pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, and miscarriage, as well as increased chances of Down syndrome in the child. Paternal age matters too — studies have linked advanced paternal age to Down syndrome and schizophrenia. Because of these elevated risks, older parents should begin prenatal care early and ideally visit their doctor before pregnancy begins to get as healthy as possible first.
Can older parents keep up physically with young children?
It is a genuine concern — energy naturally declines with age, and the physical demands of keeping up with an active child are real. That said, having children tends to keep you feeling younger. As one mother who had three children after 40 put it, the constant demands of an active child keep you from dwelling on age-related aches and pains. Following the basics — eating well, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and not smoking — makes a significant difference.
What are the emotional challenges of parenting after 40?
Older parents sometimes find themselves mistaken for their child’s grandparent, which can sting. There are also financial tensions — balancing a college fund against a retirement fund that may feel depleted. Socially, older parents may feel out of step, worrying about teething while friends deal with broken curfews. Acknowledging these feelings honestly, rather than pushing them aside, is a healthy first step.
What are the benefits of being an older parent?
Older parents tend to spend more time with their children and bring more patience to everyday moments. Life experience gives them a broader perspective — they’re less rattled by spilled juice or scraped knees and more able to savor the real joys of parenting. As one mother who had her first child at 41 put it: ‘With all the aches and pains and exhaustion and embarrassment and headaches, we’d do it all again in a heartbeat.’
Biography
Stacey Schifferdecker is the happy but harried mother of three school-aged children—two boys and a girl. She is also a freelance writer, a Children’s Minister, a PTA volunteer, and a Scout leader. Stacey has a Bachelor’s degree in Communications and French and a Master’s degree in English. She has written extensively about parenting and education as well as business, technology, travel, and hobbies.
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