by Angie Shiflett
Building confidence in your homeschooler is an essential component to instilling success in the child. It has been established that the child who has a high level of confidence will excel in the area of academics, socialization, and emotional intellect. As a parent who interacts with their child on a continuous basis, it is important that you know and understand the value of assisting your child achieve a positive sense of self – not only in the homeschool classroom, but other areas of the child’s life as well! Here, I will provide some effective strategies for building confidence in your homeschooler.
Knowing What NOT To Do
In order to learn the things that you should do when it comes to helping your child develop confidence, knowing what NOT to do is essential. The first thing that you should avoid at all costs is negativity. This is negativity in response to their actions, the actions of others, and even the actions of yourself. Children often reflect ideas, thoughts, and behaviors that are exhibited in their environment. For example, if you slip up and refer to a child who attends a public school as making a “stupid” mistake by failing a test that could have been studied for, and your homeschooler slips up and does not take the time to study and does the same, they may automatically believe that they, too, have made a “stupid” mistake. Be sure to remain positive in every single way that you can.Many parents make the mistake of informing their child when they have made a mistake and highlight the fact that they should not do this again. While this may seem like an appropriate course of action, there are two things that you should not do when it comes to correcting mistakes. First, you should not simply tell the child what “not” to do. Rather, you should inform the child of the way to do it in the future, coupled with a reasonable explanation that includes the fact that they are learning, and it is “ok” this time around, as well as why this is inappropriate. The next mistake that many parents make is that they will highlight the mistakes made by their homeschooler, but will fail to highlight the accomplishments or “positive” behaviors of the child. Do not fall into this trap! Always be certain to highlight acceptable behaviors with praise.
In addition to the above-mentioned items, as a parent, you should avoid:
• Conversing with others in front of the child, or within hearing distance of the child about mistakes that they have made, or behaviors and/or traits that are not appealing. If something is asked of you, it is best to use general terms in which the child is unable to distinguish as something being said in reference to them personally.
• You should avoid neglecting a child of love – this includes kisses, hugs, and even saying “I love you” – when they have done something unacceptable. This is extremely detrimental to a child’s esteem and can hinder their growth emotionally in many different ways.
• You should avoid comparing one child to another child in the presence of your children, or even if they can hear you. This can cause a lot of problems for the child who is considered to be the one that needs to be improved, and even the one who is said to excel in certain areas.
• You should never, ever make remarks towards your child that is considered to be insulting, or can be taken as ridicule. This is devastating to a child!
• Naturally, any type of abuse – physical, verbal, and emotional – should be avoided at all costs. If you find that you abuse your child in any way, you should seek professional assistance to learn more appropriate ways of parenting.
Knowing What to Do!
If you want to build confidence in your homeschooler, there are many things that you can do apart from the things already mentioned. These include:
• Encouraging your child to do that which they want to try. Even if you feel as if the project is not quite age appropriate or if the task is too big – encourage them to try. You may be surprised at just how successful that they can be.
• When your child is not successful, be sure to stress the importance of trying. They should know that making the effort is success in itself.
• Children should be encouraged to make friends and socialize with children and adults from all walks of life and ethnic backgrounds.
• You should always try to take delight in your child. When they find something beautiful, interesting, or funny, try to take the same interest – it will mean a lot to them.
If you follow this advice building confidence in your homeschooler will be easy!
Biography:
What should homeschool parents avoid when correcting a child’s mistakes?
Do not simply tell a child what not to do—explain what to do instead, along with a calm reason and the reassurance that mistakes are part of learning. Also avoid highlighting errors without equally recognizing accomplishments. The article is clear: praising positive behavior and effort, not just results, keeps a child’s confidence intact even when they fall short.
How does negativity in the home environment affect a homeschooler’s confidence?
Children reflect the tone of their environment. If a parent consistently uses negative language, discusses others’ failures within earshot of the child, or makes unflattering comparisons between siblings, the child absorbs that frame and applies it to themselves. Staying consciously positive in everyday conversation—about failures, mistakes, and difficult moments—is one of the most protective things a parent can do for a child’s self-image.
What behaviors should homeschool parents actively avoid to protect their child’s self-esteem?
The article lists several to avoid: discussing a child’s weaknesses in their earshot; withholding physical affection as punishment; comparing one child to another in front of them; and making remarks that could be taken as ridicule. These habits do not just sting in the moment—they can hinder emotional development in lasting ways.
What are simple, positive ways to build confidence in a homeschooled child?
Encourage your child to try things even when success is not guaranteed—and when they do not succeed, stress that making the effort is already a win. Take delight in the things they find exciting or funny. Encourage friendships with children from different backgrounds. And never compare your child to others: confidence grows in an environment of consistent, genuine encouragement rather than comparison.
Angie Shiflett is a content specialist that focuses on writing on an assortment of topics. Currently, her passion is homeschooling and education. She has been homeschooling her children through The Connections Academy for two years now. Both her and her husband are able to remain at home with their children in order to educate them. They place a high emphasis on family, and dedication to the importance of a proper education.
This article is the copyright of More4kids Inc. No part may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009 All Rights Reserved
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