by Joy Burgess
Unfortunately today, there are many teens that grow up not having any idea how to handle responsibility. Many parents don’t require teens to take responsibility in the home, and so as they become adults, they are not able to deal with responsibility that comes with going to college, getting a job, and taking care of themselves out there in the world. It’s important that you teach your teen responsibility, and one of the best ways to do this is to have some chores for your teen to take care of. I can’t promise it will be easy, but it will pay off in the long run.
Setting Expectations for Your Teen
Table of Contents
The Battle of the Chores
More than likely when you start assigning more responsibility to your teen in the form of chores, you are going to end up with a bit of a battle at first. Teens are definitely not fond of chores, especially when they’d rather be on the phone, hanging out with friends, or chatting online with their best buds. However, it’s important that they learn that responsibility comes with life, and even if they don’t like it, chores should be a part of their life. Don’t let them win the fight. Make sure that they take care of their chores. If they don’t, then you may need to let them know that other privileges will be taken away. In order to have privileges, they have to meet their responsibilities. After all, this is the way it works in life. It’s important that they learn these lessons while they are in their teen years instead of learning the hard way as adults. So, don’t lose this fight over chores.Possible Responsibilities and Chores to Give Your Teen
Wondering what kinds of responsibilities and chores to give your teen? Well, this all is going to depend on your teen, their age, and the responsibilities available around the house. They should of course be responsible for daily habits, such as keeping their room clean and making their own bed. This should already be a given. If it isn’t in your home, you need to start making it one. Then some household chores can be added to their responsibilities. Let them know that since they live in the house, they need to help out in the home. Keeping their room vacuumed and their bathroom cleaned are great ideas. Consider having them do a household chore on a daily basis, such as washing dishes, loading or unloading the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, or even straightening up the living room. When you do weekly cleaning in your home, they can help out with that as well. You don’t have to give them a huge amount of chores. Usually just 15-30 minutes of chores each day is a great start. It will help you out in the home and help them learn more about being responsible as well.Giving Choices
Chores or tasks do not always need to the same each week. Part of growing up and teaching our kids to be responsible is to teach them to learn to make decisions and to teach them they are responsible enough to help with the decisions a household makes. Try getting together on a weekly basis and discuss what needs to be done. Write down what needs to be done each week and who is assigned what, including Mom and Dad. More than likely your teen does not realize what it takes to keep the household going. This may help put a sense of purpose to those weekly chores and give them the feeling they are growing up and their help really does matter.Rewarding Your Teen for Being Responsible
While responsibility is something that your teen definitely needs to learn, rewarding them for being responsible and keeping up with their chores is a great idea. This is a great way to get them to do what they need to do. No, you shouldn’t bribe them, but a reward when they do a great job is definitely going to help out. First of all, make sure you reward them with a thank you. This will teach them that taking responsibility is appreciated. Who knows, they may even begin to appreciate the things you do more as well. There are many ways that you can reward your teen for being responsible. Giving them an allowance is a great idea. Perhaps have the allowance hinge on whether or not their chores get done during the week. Then, you can teach them to save a portion of this allowance and open up a savings account. This is an excellent motivation for teens and then they’ll also have the added bonus of learning to handle the money that they earn too. Of course you don’t have to reward them for each chore they do – this could get expensive. However, always make sure you let them know you do appreciate them taking responsibility and getting their chores done.What household chores are appropriate for teenagers?
Start with the basics: keeping their room tidy, making their bed daily, and maintaining their own bathroom. From there, add shared household tasks such as loading or unloading the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, vacuuming, or straightening the living room. The goal isn’t to overwhelm them — about 15 to 30 minutes of chores a day is a solid, reasonable start. As your teen shows they can handle the basics, you can involve them in the weekly household discussion about who handles what, which gives them ownership and a real sense of contribution.
How do I get my teenager to actually do their chores without a constant battle?
Expect resistance at first — it’s normal. The key is to hold your ground consistently. Make clear that privileges such as screen time, going out with friends, or using the car are tied to meeting their responsibilities, not the other way around. Don’t threaten consequences you won’t follow through on, and don’t back down when they push back. Teens who learn this lesson at home — that you have to earn your privileges — are far better prepared for college and the working world than those who don’t.
Should I pay my teenager an allowance for doing chores?
An allowance tied to completing chores is an excellent idea because it mirrors how the adult world works — you earn what you put in. Consider having the weekly allowance hinge on whether their responsibilities were met. From there, use it as an opportunity to teach the equally important skill of saving: encourage them to set aside a portion and, when they’re ready, help them open a simple savings account. The habits they build around earning and managing money now will benefit them for decades.
How do I set realistic expectations for my teenager’s responsibilities at home?
Keep your expectations age-appropriate and clear. Telling a teen vaguely to “help more around the house” rarely works. Instead, be specific about what you need done, by when, and what happens if it isn’t. Hold a weekly family meeting to look at what needs doing, write it down, and assign tasks — including your own. When teens can see that Mom and Dad are on the list too, it lands very differently than being handed a chore chart and told to get busy.
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