Halloween Jokes and Songs for Everyone

If you have a child that is anything like my son then I am sure you have heard your fair share of corny jokes. If your child is anything like my son, then when you laugh and say you’ve heard that one before… chances are greater than not that your child is going to try to create their own joke just so you will laugh and they will know that it isn’t a joke you have heard before. I decided that for Halloween, maybe a better treat then candy… would be a few new jokes. I have scoured the internet looking for only the best kid friendly jokes for Halloween. Share them with your kids… or even other parents to make the spookiest of all holidays a little funny for all the pranksters out there. Joke 1: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? Because he didn’t have any body to dance with. Joke 2:  Why did the baker stop making donuts? He got bored with the whole business. Joke 3: What room does a ghost not need? A living room. Joke 4: Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A day-scare center. Joke 5: What do witches put in their hair? Scare-spray Joke 6: Where do spooks water ski? Lake Erie Joke 7: Where do mummies go for a swim? The Dead Sea Joke 8: How do you mend a broken jack-o-latern? With a pumpkin patch. Joke 9: What kinds of roads do ghosts haunt? Dead ends. Joke 10: Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up. Joke 11: What kind of horse only comes out on Halloween? A nightmare. Joke 12: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash Joke 13: What do you get when you take the middle out of a hot dog on Halloween? You get a hollow wiener Here are a few funny little jokes to tell the older pranksters… The nurse walked into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor the Invisible Man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” Little Baby Dracula was chasing a man around the house when his mother walked in. The mother scolded, “Junior! How many times have I told you not to play with your food before you eat it!” Did you hear the one about the vampire that was seen crawling through the desert screaming, “Blood! Blood!” Monster 1: “Did you hear that the Zombie is going to marry the Invisible Women?” Monster 2: “I don’t know what he sees in her.” If you prefer to sing a song or two to spook away the fearful cries, here is one that we should all know. Now the key here is to sing this song along with the tune of 12 Days of Christmas BUT sing it with a Transylvanian accent. Go ahead… try it. The 12 Days of Halloween “On the first day of Halloween my best friend gave to me. A boney witch’s knee. On the second day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the third day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the fourth day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the fifth day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Five haunted houses, Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the sixth day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Six ghouls a dancing, Five haunted houses, Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the seventh day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Seven witches cooking, Six ghouls a dancing, Five haunted houses, Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the eighth day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Eight ghosts a flying, Seven witches cooking, Six ghouls a dancing, Five haunted houses, Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the ninth day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Nine monsters dancing, Eight ghosts a flying, Seven witches cooking, Six ghouls a dancing, Five haunted houses, Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the tenth day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Ten bats a hanging, Nine monsters dancing, Eight ghosts a flying, Seven witches cooking, Six ghouls a dancing, Five haunted houses, Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the eleventh day of Halloween, my best friend gave to me. Eleven Trick-or-treaters, Ten bats a hanging, Nine monsters dancing, Eight ghosts a flying, Seven witches cooking, Six ghouls a dancing, Five haunted houses, Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. On the twelfth day of Halloween my best friend gave to me. Twelve Jack-o-lanterns, Eleven Trick-or-treaters, Ten bats a hanging, Nine monsters dancing, Eight ghosts a flying, Seven witches cooking, Six ghouls a dancing, Five haunted houses, Four vampires biting, Three pumpkins growing, Two bats a flying, And a boney witches knee. By: W. S. Daniel”