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Home Parenting

Teaching Respect For Property

Respecting property — parent helping child tidy toys
Respecting property starts with small, daily routines at home.
The first step in teaching your children respect for other people property is to live by the Golden Rule is, of course, to live by it yourself. Model the values you want your children to develop. Remember that you are your children’s first teachers, and your actions speak loudly to them.

by Stacey Schifferdecker

Have you see the big inflatable decorations that pop up in people yards now? Pumpkins at Halloween, Uncle Sam on the Fourth of July, snowmen at Christmas, etc. If you drive by our yard in December, you’ll see an 8-foot-tall inflatable snowman. But walk around the back of friendly Frosty and you see his duct tape “band-aids,” covering the gashes from last winter when someone spiked him. On our quiet, peaceful little street, poor Frosty was the victim of vandalism wrought by someone who doesn’t respect other people’s property.

It was horrible to find our snowman laying in the yard that morning, but it would have been even worse to see my neighbor’s snowman vandalized and my child as the vandal. How do we teach our children to respect other people’s property? The answer is as close as your Bible, where Jesus instructs us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (Matthew 7:12). In fact, this rule of ethics is so universal that it is found in the scriptures of nearly every religion in the world. Teach your children this rule, and teach them to live by it every day.

The first step in teaching your children to live by the [tag-tec]Golden Rule[/tag-tec] is, of course, to live by it yourself. Model the values you want your children to develop. This means throwing your trash in a can instead of on the ground, putting grocery carts away instead of leaving them abandoned in the parking lot, and not blowing your leaves into the street or your neighbor’s yard. Remember, you are your children’s first teachers, and your actions speak loudly to them. The best way of teaching respect for others property is to set an example for your children.

Beyond your own actions, here are some concrete rules and reminders you can give your children that will help them learn to [tag-ice]respect[/tag-ice] other people’s property:

• Ask before borrowing something, instead of taking it without permission
• If you do borrow something, take care of it as if it were your own
• If you break something, own up to it with an apology, then repair or replace it

As part of modeling good behavior for your children, practice these same rules with them: don’t borrow their stuff without permission and take good care of what you borrow.

A fun way to talk about respecting property with young children is to read David McPhail’s book Those Terrible Toy-Breakers. Ask your children how they would feel if their toys were being broken or lost. Encourage them to consider the feelings of other people.

Play dates are a good opportunity to help your children learn to respect other people’s property. On play dates, make sure your children treat their friends’ [tag-tec]toys[/tag-tec] and home gently and always help to clean up before it is time to go home.

Another good way to give your children practical experience in respecting property is to visit a library regularly. Teach them that when we borrow books, we take care of them and we return them on time so other people can enjoy the books too.

You may need to remind older children that respecting people’s property includes intellectual property. In other words, don’t let any pirates into your house. It is not respectful or right to download or copy music, software, or movies without authorization.

There are many ways to be careful of other people’s property, and we can’t expect our [tag-self]kids[/tag-self] to just automatically know the rules of polite society. So be prepared to remind them about the basics such as opening car doors carefully, not walking across other people’s lawns, and using coasters under their glasses. Eventually, they will absorb the general idea and develop their own radar so you won’t have to remind them all the time of what appropriate behavior looks like.

Kids and property — child caring for a houseplant
Caring for one small thing teaches respect for everything.
Teaching respect for property — tidy wooden blocks
Putting things back where they belong is its own quiet lesson.
Biography
Stacey Schifferdecker is the happy but harried mother of three school-aged children—two boys and a girl. She is also a freelance writer, a Children’s Minister, a PTA volunteer, and a Scout leader. Stacey has a Bachelor’s degree in Communications and French and a Master’s degree in English. She has written extensively about parenting and education as well as business, technology, travel, and hobbies.
No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2006

How do I teach my child to respect other people’s property?

The most powerful tool is your own example, since you are your children’s first teachers. Model it by throwing trash in a can, returning grocery carts, and not blowing leaves into a neighbor’s yard. Pair that with a few clear rules for them: ask before borrowing, take care of what they borrow, and own up to anything they break with an apology and a repair or replacement. Over time these everyday habits become second nature.

What are simple rules to teach kids about borrowing things?

Three easy ones cover most situations: ask before borrowing something instead of just taking it, take care of anything you borrow as if it were your own, and if you break it, own up to it with an apology and then repair or replace it. It helps to practice these rules yourself too, so don’t borrow your child’s things without asking, and treat what you borrow with the same care you’re asking of them.

What everyday activities help teach respect for property?

Ordinary outings make great practice. Regular library visits teach kids to care for borrowed books and return them on time so others can enjoy them too. Play dates are a chance to practice treating a friend’s toys and home gently and helping to clean up before heading out. You can even read David McPhail’s book Those Terrible Toy-Breakers together and talk about how it would feel to have your own toys broken.

Does respecting property include digital things like music and movies?

Yes, and it’s worth reminding older kids about. Respecting property also means respecting intellectual property, so downloading or copying music, software, or movies without authorization isn’t respectful or right. Folding this into the same conversation helps children see that the principle is the same online as it is with a neighbor’s belongings.

More4kids

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