Do you have a shy child and what can you do to help your child overcome his or her shyness? As a young child I was extremely shy and know how it can carry on throughout childhood and into adulthood. Shyness can be a difficult problem, especially for a child. Whether the shyness is a result of an inner problem or simply not wanting to participate in conversation, you can help your toddler overcome shyness.
If your child has an exuberant personality but tends to shy away from strangers, there really is nothing to worry about. However, if your toddler seems to have behavioral problems, becomes angry or fearful, then shyness is a cover for something more problematic.
More often than not, children are pushed into situations they are uncomfortable with; either having to kiss a stranger invited to the home; or having to seem more outgoing that he or she actually is can ultimately force the toddler to become more withdrawn and akin to a turtle, end up putting their head back into their shell. In order to help your toddler overcome shyness, don’t make a point of it. Do not treat them any different than any other child. Think of your child as quiet and reserved, and refer to him or her that way if asked by others. There is nothing wrong with this assessment, and the manner in which you treat your child will not overstate the obvious, but allow them the room he needs to find their own way.
Shy children are also fearful of strangers. If you take your toddler to a friend’s home, let them bring along a blanket or a toy. It is a familiar object which, to the toddler, represents home – which they view as safe. It can also be used as a way to communicate between the toddler and the stranger. The point is not to force your child to have to say or do anything – just be. Eventually as they see your response to strangers appear comfortable and happy, they will follow suit. Often shy children become introverted, and it takes a lot to draw them out. To this end, invite children to your home to play with your toddler. They will feel safer at home, and the children may help your toddler to open up in ways adults can’t.
Help your toddler overcome shyness by not doting on them, but by giving them a great deal of love and support. Do not make an issue out of their shyness, nor force them to become involved in situations which frighten or make them uncomfortable. Eventually they will find his way in time, and be able to communicate and come out of that shell. They just needs to find their own niche; and once they doe – all will be well. Remember, children need to progress at their own pace. While one sibling may be outgoing and friendly, another may be just the opposite. The key is not to make allowances for one; but to treat each child equally.
How can I help my shy child come out of their shell?
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The gentlest approach often works best: don’t make a point of the shyness or treat your child any differently than any other. Think of them simply as quiet and reserved, and refer to them that way if others ask. Offer plenty of love and support without doting, avoid pushing them into situations that frighten them, and give them room to find their own way. Children progress at their own pace, and in time most find their niche and open up.
Should I worry about my child’s shyness?
Usually not. If your child has an exuberant personality but tends to shy away from strangers, there’s really nothing to worry about. The time to look a little closer is if the shyness comes with behavioral problems, or if your child becomes angry or fearful, since that can be a sign the shyness is covering something more troubling that may need attention.
How can I help my toddler feel safe around strangers and new places?
Familiar comforts go a long way. When you visit a friend’s home, let your toddler bring along a blanket or a favorite toy, since that object represents home and feels safe, and can even become a bridge for connecting with someone new. The goal isn’t to make your child say or do anything, just to let them be. As they watch you respond to others in a comfortable, happy way, they’ll gradually follow your lead. Inviting other children over to play can help too, since kids often draw a shy child out in ways adults can’t.
Is it okay to push a shy child to be more outgoing?
It’s better not to. Often children become more withdrawn precisely because they’ve been pushed into situations they’re uncomfortable with, like being made to kiss a visiting stranger or to seem more outgoing than they really are. Forcing it tends to send a shy child further back into their shell. Instead, let them move at their own pace, and treat each child as the individual they are rather than measuring one against a more outgoing sibling.
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