At a very early age, kids are influenced by your every word and action. Your children look up to their [tag-self]parents[/tag-self] and tend to emulate their behavior There is a wonderful commercial on TV which illustrates this point. A father takes a slice of bread and smears peanut butter on it. His daughter comes to sit beside him, and proceeds to do the same. The father then folds the slice of bread. His daughter asks why he does that, and he says, “Because my dad used to eat it this way.” Looking the other way, the father glances over to his daughter who begins to fold the slice of bread just like her dad.
While this is considered benign behavior, there are cases in which your quirks may encompass more severe consequences. Sometimes, our actions can produce unhealthy results. Perhaps you are a neat-freak. Your kids may adapt to the same method of cleanliness which can add psychological stress. For example: if your child drops a glass of milk on the kitchen floor, the [tag-ice]anxiety[/tag-ice] can become too much to handle. The fear of your reaction triggers the angst.
Everyone has a habit or a particular quirk; as parents the trick is to recognize it and modify our [tag-tec]behavior[/tag-tec]. If you tend to yell at the drop of a hat; your kids will grow up thinking its okay. Remember, not being exposed to any other family’s behavior can make it appear normal. It is important from the outset, to resist the temptation to expose your kids to anything but civil and proper behavior. Passing on your quirks to your kids can cause embarrassing and possibly affect their future behavior as adults.
Do children really pick up their parents’ bad habits?
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From a very early age, children are influenced by your every word and action. They watch you closely and naturally emulate your behavior—not because they are trying to copy you, but because you are their closest model for how to navigate the world. Even habits you consider trivial, like folding your sandwich a certain way, can pass directly to your child.
What kinds of parental habits can negatively affect kids?
Habits that create stress or anxiety in the home have the biggest impact. If you tend to yell when upset, your children will grow up thinking that is the normal way to handle frustration. If you react strongly to small messes, your child may develop anxiety around normal accidents like spilling a glass of milk. The behaviors we model as “normal” shape our children’s emotional baseline.
How can I break a bad habit before it affects my children?
The most important step is simply to recognize it. Once you are aware of a habit, you can interrupt the pattern and choose a different response. Children benefit most when parents model the civil and respectful behavior they want to see—not because you will be perfect, but because they see you making the effort to grow alongside them.
These are reasonable and thought-provoking views. Our kids will pick it up, they will be affected. Hopefully we can temper it enough for it not to be too big an influence, but it does take effort, doesn’t it?
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