It’s a bit scary when teens start to grow up and become independent. While your first urge may be to lock them in the basement until they’re 18, that probably won’t work out too well. One of the greatest challenges for parents of teens is to teach your children to be safe when you are not around. Since we can’t keep our children by our side all the time, it’s important to take steps to keep them safe when they are out and about. Here are a few ideas that might help.
As with most issues, start talking to your teens early. Teach them what kind of behavior you expect from them and what you won’t tolerate. Also teach them how to say no when they don’t want to do something, and how to get out of various bad situations. You may even want to go as far as role playing with your child.
Set clear rules and boundaries for your [tag-ice]teen[/tag-ice]. Make sure they know ahead of time what they are and are not allowed to do. Set a strict curfew and make sure they understand what the consequences will be if they break the rules. As you no doubt know, [tag-cat]teenagers[/tag-cat] sometimes can stretch the limits, so when they break the rules, be firm. When you make rules and don’t stick to them, you’re child is less likely to follow them.
Ask your teen where they are going and what they are doing. Take it upon yourself to make sure they are where they say they are. This doesn’t mean you need to follow them around town, but you should call parents of the friends they’re going with and double check the plans and just to ensure they’re safe. You may also consider getting them a cell phone so they can check in every so often. While you may think your [tag-tec]children[/tag-tec] will feel oppressed by this behavior, they will also know you care what happens and feel more responsible about keeping out of unsafe situations.
While you may be more concerned about the trouble your teen and their friends might be causing, you should also be aware of people trying to hurt them. Teens are the most victimized of any age group. Make sure your teen knows how to defend themselves. You may even want to consider enrolling them in a self defense or martial arts class. The good thing about these classes is that they stress defense and escape.
While you can’t protect your teenager all the time, you can guide them towards making good choices to help them stay safe.
How do I keep my teenager safe when I’m not around?
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The foundation is an ongoing conversation that starts before the risks arise. Teach your teen what behavior you expect, what you won’t tolerate, and specifically how to say no and get themselves out of bad situations — including role-playing different scenarios. Set clear rules and a firm curfew with real consequences, and follow through consistently. When kids know you mean what you say, they take the boundaries seriously.
Should I check up on my teenager to make sure they’re where they say they are?
Yes — and this is healthy parenting, not overreach. You don’t need to follow your teen around town, but calling the parents of the friends they’re going out with to confirm plans is completely reasonable. Consider getting your teen a cell phone so they can check in regularly. Teenagers who know their parents stay informed tend to feel more responsible about staying out of risky situations — they know someone is paying attention.
Should I teach my teenager self-defense?
It’s worth considering. Teens are actually the most victimized age group of any demographic, which often surprises parents who are more focused on the trouble teens might cause than the harm that can come to them. A self-defense or martial arts class teaches your teen to protect and remove themselves from danger — most programs focus on defense and escape rather than aggression. That skillset can make a real difference.
When should I start talking to my teen about safety?
Early — before you need to. The time to have these conversations is not in the moment of a crisis, but well before your teen starts navigating independence. Talk about the behavior you expect, the situations they might encounter, and exactly how you want them to handle pressure from peers or dangerous situations. The earlier and more openly you have these conversations, the more prepared your teen will be when it actually matters.
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