- What spiritual and moral values do you want your child raised with?
- What skills do you want your child to develop?
- What activities do you want your child to participate in?
- Is this person physically able to care for your children until they are adults? Your parents may fit all your requirements but still not be a good choice if they are ill or aged.
- Does this person love your children already and make a point of being part of their lives?
- Does this person live nearby or will your children have to move to a different city or state?
- Is this person financially stable and trustworthy? (If the ideal person is not very good with money, you may want to appoint a separate trustee to look after your children’s financial interests.)
- Does this person already have children? If so, can he or she take on the challenge of adding more children to the family?
As you list potential guardians, remember to consider friends as well as family. If, like us, you have no family in the same city much less the same state, close friends may be an excellent choice, especially if they already know and love your children and are a regular part of their lives.
Stacey Schifferdecker is the happy but harried mother of three school-aged children—two boys and a girl. She is also a freelance writer, a Children’s Minister, a PTA volunteer, and a Scout leader. Stacey has a Bachelor’s degree in Communications and French and a Master’s degree in English. She has written extensively about parenting and education as well as business, technology, travel, and hobbies.
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What qualities should I look for when choosing a guardian for my children?
Table of Contents
Start with values: what moral, spiritual, and practical values do you want your child raised with? Then consider practical factors — does this person love your kids and already have a real relationship with them? Are they physically and financially capable of raising children to adulthood? Do they live close enough that your children wouldn’t have to uproot their lives? A guardian who scores well on values and has a genuine bond with your children is usually a better choice than a technically correct relative they barely know.
Can I choose a friend as my child’s guardian instead of a family member?
Absolutely. A close friend who already loves your children, lives nearby, and shares your values may be a far better choice than a distant relative with little connection to your kids. The best guardian is the person who will truly show up for your children — blood relation is worth considering, but it shouldn’t override fit, love, and capability.
How do I legally name a guardian for my child?
You need to name your chosen guardian in your will, which requires working with an attorney. Before you do, ask your chosen guardian — don’t assume they’ll say yes, since it’s a significant commitment. Once they’ve agreed, also name a backup guardian in case your first choice is unable to serve. Review and update your will every few years, because circumstances change for both you and your guardian.
How often should I review my guardian choice?
Plan to review your guardianship arrangement every few years, and any time there’s a major life change — a move, a health issue, a divorce, or a significant shift in your relationship with the person. What made someone a perfect choice when your child was three may no longer apply when your child is ten. Keeping it current is just as important as making the choice in the first place.
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