…and How Emotion Coaching Can Help Us Overcome Them
Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT
Tired of the tantrums, the constant fighting, the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach after you’ve yelled at your child? You’re not alone. Emotion coaching is the path to raising healthier, happier kids—and helps you get past some common parenting problems.
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we’ll ever have. More than anything we want to help our kids grow into healthy, happy adults. Yet when they don’t behave the way we want them to, it’s all too easy to resort to tactics we’re not proud of. Yelling. Threatening. Even spanking. We use these discredited discipline techniques even though we can clearly see that they are not effective. And not only do they make our kids feel bad, they make us feel even worse. And yet, because we don’t know any good alternatives, we stay stuck in the cycle of negativity…and nothing ever changes.
Good news, There is a parenting technique that lays out a loving, nurturing path for raising happy, well-adjusted, well-behaved children. It’s called emotion coaching and it feels good to parents and kids alike. And best of all, it works.
At its heart, emotion coaching is about teaching your child how to recognize and express the way he is feeling in an appropriate way. My book, The Go-To Mom's Parents' Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children teaches parents how to coach and when to coach.
Once you are able to help your child to understand and communicate his feelings according to his developmental abilities, you’ll see a change in the way you interact with one another. Not only will you begin to see results, you’ll feel great about the relationship you are nurturing with your child.
Emotion coaching is a gentle, open-hearted alternative to old-fashioned, often aggressive discipline that can be used with babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and young school-age children. Ultimately, it gives parents the know-how and the confidence to build strong, productive relationships with their children.
READ More on Emotional (Parenting) Rescue: Four Roadblocks That Keep Us from Positive Parenting
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Sometimes being a parent isn't easy, whether you're a mom or a dad. There are challenges that occur every day, and there are times when you don't know where to turn. Sometimes you wonder if you're doing the right thing or if you are even a good parent. Every parent goes through that. It's perfectly normal. Maybe you feel that if you could just vent your frustration, have someone to talk to, and get a bit of advice, that parenting would be a bit easier. Today you can find that help through a new parenting resource, known as the Parenting Assistance Line, or PAL. Here is a closer look at this excellent resource for parents and how it can help you.
What is PAL?
First, you may be wondering what exactly PAL is. Well, it is a Parenting Assistance Line that has been developed as a collaboration between the Alabama Children's Trust Fund and the University of Alabama Child Development Resources. The First Lady of Alabama, Patsy Riley helped to create this special resource for parents. There is a special toll free number that can be called by parents, and when you call, a specialist in parenting resources answers the phone. They will listen to your problems or difficulties and they can also offer you some support and information. When you call, you also can ask for free literature that is related to the specific concerns you are dealing with as a parent.
READ More on PAL – Parenting Assistance Line – An Excellent Parenting Resource
Parents typically experience different emotional states including happiness, anger and sometimes frustration during their child’s potty training process. However, it is good to know that for the child, the feelings can be even stronger! If you learn to understand it, your road to successful potty training will be shorter.
For the child, this learning experience is a nightmare! Right at the moment they are having fun and enjoying themselves with their favorite toy, they have to deal with a process which is anything but enjoyable!
What Does The Child Believe?READ More on Potty Training Basics
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Best Websites for Parents
Parenting can be a tough job, and most of us parents are grateful for all the help and advice we can get. How lucky are we to have the internet as a parenting resource in addition to our friends, family, books, and other helps! But the internet can be a little overwhelming too. Google “parenting” and you get 76,600,000 hits. Which websites have the information you need? Below are links to some of the best parenting websites out there. Here are our top picks. As we find or hear about more great ones we will add it to the list, so stop back. Now here is the list: READ More on Top Parenting WebsitesFiled under Parenting by
Without a doubt, kids seem to change very fast. There is always a new challenge, and as parents we need to understand the phases our children go through, and to realize that we need to change our parenting styles to the situation. Parenting a child means being adaptable to the many changes each child goes through as they begin to develop and mature. Skills need to be changed and adapted as the child grows, matures, and explores new territories. There are some phases of development that each child should go through to be able to advance to the next level. It is unavoidable that sometimes this will get them into trouble. As a child grows they go from being bubbly, determined, and cautious to sassy, bossy, impulsive, and defiant. What a challenge it is to channel these energies in a positive direction. The same stubbornness that keeps your child in trouble is also the stubbornness that gives them the drive to master a new talent. Parents sometimes can have a hard time curbing their stubbornness without stunting their development. READ More on Flexible Parenting – Adapting To Your Changing Child
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Choosing a pet for your child is a very important decision that will last for many years. Some pets live ten to twenty years or longer, so the pet you choose today may become a lifelong friend as the child grows. Also, having a pet is a great way to teach your child responsibility.
What type of pet you choose for your child will depend on a variety of factors. How old the child currently is plays a role in your choice of pets, as does where you live, how much room you have, and how much time you as parents have too.
You see, when a child is still somewhat young, they won't be able to take care of most pets completely on their own. It's up to the parents to teach the children how to care for and love pets, and parents usually need to do a lot of the work themselves while their children are still young. So the amount of time you, as the parents, has available to devote towards the pet care, and the teaching of both pet and child will be an important part of choosing the proper pet for your child. READ More on Choosing a Pet for Your Child
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By Julie Baumgardner
Karen’s son lied about his homework, so she grounded him from weekend activities. Her son was scheduled to be with his dad that weekend so she called her ex to ask him to honor the grounding. He refused, saying that was his only time with his son and he wasn’t obligated to fulfill her decisions. Karen was furious.
Was Karen right to ask her ex to do this? Was her ex wrong not to honor her wishes?
“The ultimate goal is to have Karen and Ted strive to enforce similar rules and cooperate regarding the children,” said Ron Deal, author of The Smart Stepfamily. “If you can achieve this level of cooperation, terrific, but the reality is, in many instances, they aren’t there. So, what we work toward is each household being autonomous, but sharing the responsibility for the children. Co-parenting does not mean sharing all decisions about the children or that either home is accountable to the other for their choices, rules or standards.” READ More on Co-Parenting Through Separation and Divorce: Making Sure your Child Wins
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