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Whether we can cook or not, the above recipe will prepare us to empower our children to look for the best within themselves; to experience their self-worth; to envision their future; to never have to say ‘if only’. Even if we aren’t equipped with all the ingredients all the time, they have an eternal shelf life we can tap into as needed. It’s up to us to keep our pantry well stocked.
Father's Day is a time to celebrate dads, and for fathers, it is a great time to reflect on the relationship you have with your children. Maybe you have a great relationship with your children or maybe you would like to be more involved in your child's life. The role of a father is an important one, and many studies show that having a father that is involved is beneficial to the entire family. Of course, not only will your children benefit from you being involved in their lives, but you'll enjoy great benefits too. This Father's Day, consider the benefits of being an involved dad and consider a few of these tips for bonding and becoming more involved with your children. It will definitely pay off big time.
Being Involved – The Benefits for Your Children
First, let's take a look at some of the benefits your children will enjoy when you are an involved dad. Being involved in your child's life is going to include getting involved in all aspects of their lives. As you do this, here are a few benefits your children will enjoy.
Benefit #1 – Greater Success – Studies have shown that children who have fathers who are involved in their lives enjoy greater success in life. They are more successful in their career pursuits, which leads to financial stability.
Benefit #2 – Fewer Problems – Another benefit of being involved with your children is they usually have fewer problems in life. They are less likely to be delinquent, get involved in violence, or have other behavioral problems.
Benefit #3 – Better Cognitive Abilities – Interestingly enough, spending more time bonding with your kids can increase their cognitive abilities. Regardless of your own education level, being involved with your kids can increase cognitive test scores and the likelihood that they graduate high school and even pursue higher education.
Fathers Day is a day to celebrate being a Dad. For me the best gift is just spending time with my family. As Fathers our role is very important and studies have shown the more time we spend with our kids the more well adjusted and successful they will be.
Having a great relationship with our kids also has many benefits for us Dads as well. There is no better stress relief after a hard day of work to come home and have your kids run into your arms or be glad to see you.
There is a also a special bond that forms between Father and Son, a bond that starts at birth and lasts a lifetime. As Dads we bring joy to our family and help set role models for our kids. Father's day is a time to remember and thank our own Dads of if we are a Dad, a time to rejoice in our own family.
From all of us here at More4kids, we wish you a Happy Father's Day and thank all Dad's out there for their love and sacrifice.
Here is a very special video the YMCA did of kids telling their Dads how great they are:
Great Father's Day Quotes:
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. – George Herbert
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. – M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
In the beginning, girls are usually the ones that talk early, become involved socially, and do well in school. However, as they grow older, sometimes parenting a girl becomes a bit more challenging. Many parents feel that early on girls are easier to raise, but there are challenges coming as they hit those preteen and teen years. With many expectations on them, various signals from society, and a lot of social pressure, things often become more difficult for girls as they get a bit older. It's important that you raise your daughter to be confident and successful in a world that still often makes it more difficult for women to achieve success. To effectively parent your daughter, here are some excellent parenting tips that can help you along the way.
Parenting Tip #1 – Encourage Your Daughter to Have a Healthy Body Image
Probably one of the most important parenting tips for raising girls to keep in mind is to encourage your daughter to have a healthy body image. As girls grow older, often body image becomes a problem, especially with the way that models are altered to look almost perfect today. This can cause a lot of pressure on girls as they grow up, leading to problems like bulimia and even anorexia. Teaching them to have a good body image while they are young and reinforcing it as they grow older can help. Compliment your daughter, praising her appearance. If she asks if she is beautiful, enthusiastically tell her, "Yes!" It's also a good idea to let your teenage daughter realize that the models in magazines are digitally altered and that no woman can really reach this perfection without an airbrush. Let your daughter know that perfection is not a real definition of beautiful.
Parenting Tip #2 – Provide Your Daughter with a Good Example and Good Role Models
Another great tip is to provide your daughter with a good example yourself, as well as other good role models. Moms, daughters are going to look to you and they will learn from your attitudes and actions. Embrace your body and show pride in being a woman. Don't criticize yourself or you will pass that attitude to your daughter. Dads need to show respect to women as well as equality. Of course, while being a good example as a parent is important, girls also need other women role models in their lives. Help them find great role models in strong women that are successful, whether friends, family members, or even famous women well known for being strong women.
Filed under Parenting Tips by
by Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC
Yelling at Your Kids? Why It Doesn’t Work
You know the drill: Your child is screaming at you, ignoring you, being irresponsible or hurtful. Suddenly, you’re yelling at the top of your lungs, matching him decibel for decibel. Later, you think, “Why did I fly off the handle again? I’m so tired of letting him push my buttons so easily.”
Yelling is a natural response when your kids are rude, not listening, engaging in irresponsible behavior or treating you poorly—or in any other situation that triggers your emotions. Even though you know it would be better if you could stay calm, it’s hard to always do that emotionally. Or you may even argue that yelling and making our kids afraid of us worked when we were growing up, so why shouldn’t we do that today?
Yelling or “losing it” transmits the message, “I need you to behave so that I can feel calmer; I don’t know how to be calm and in control of myself unless you are behaving the way I need you to.”
It was good enough for me…
When our parents were raising us, adults used threats, intimidation and fear to scare us into better behavior. The value prized was obedience. Some parents hit and others withdrew love to get their children to submit to authority. And kids were much more obedient than today’s kids—but it came at a price. Although today’s parents value obedience, we also put a high value on long-term connections, fostering independence and self-reliance, building trust and on our kids’ emotional wellbeing. The old way of parenting might help kids fall into line, but it works against some of today’s parents’ values.
So the question becomes, “How do we get our kids to behave without yelling and screaming, while also building a good relationship with them?” It’s important to remember that losing our temper may make us feel better in the moment—it’s a way of managing our distress—but it doesn’t feel better later. It does not enhance the relationship with our kids that we hope to achieve over time or help them to develop successfully into responsible adults.
The message you send when you “lose it.”
There are many ways to influence your child’s behavior, but yelling is not effective. The message that it transmits to our kids is often, “I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do to get you to act the way I want you to act. I feel out of control.” Of course, the message we want our children to pick up is, “I’m in control of myself; I know what to do and you do not control me.” Yelling or “losing it” also transmits the message, “I need you to behave so that I can feel calmer—I don’t know how to be calm and in control of myself unless you are behaving the way I need you to.” What happens is that your child feels that he is in charge of your emotional wellbeing—and that’s not a good position to put him in.
Although there are people who seem to be blessed with an abundance of self-esteem, they don’t have that level of self-esteem right from the start. Unlike other human traits that are already there the moment we are born, there are some that one needs to develop over time. Self-esteem is one of those traits.
Self-esteem is that part of oneself that allows people to function with confidence. It refers to a person’s ability to trust in themselves and to accept who they are flaws and all. Self-esteem is actually fostered from childhood. A big role is played by the parents in making sure that their children develop their self-esteem fully. The way they give attention to their kids and the way they praise them (or criticize them!) will factor greatly in the way they develop their children’s self-esteem. READ More on Parenting A Teenager With Low Self-Esteem