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by Stephanie Partridge

Mother and Son ArgumentAt some point as a parent, regardless of how great your relationship is with your teen, you will butt heads and go through some struggles. You teen will begin trying to separate from you and become an individual. They want to be independent, in control of their own lives and make their own choices. While it may be difficult and even painful for both of you, these struggles are actually good for your teen - and for you. If you handle these struggles properly, you can actually strengthen your relationship with your teen while making both of you stronger, wiser and better decision makers. These survival tips will help.

Don't - Fall in the Parent Trap

Many parents fall into what I call the "Parent Trap." They play that parent card like they were playing a winning hand in a million dollar poker game. They over use the power (bordering on abusing it), completely controlling the situation and giving the child no leeway whatsoever. Do you want a kid who sneaks out after you go to sleep or who wears one thing out then changes into a "forbidden" ensemble in the gas station restroom after they leave your house? Well, that is exactly what you are going to get if you control every aspect of your child's life. And if you say, "MY child wouldn't do something like that" you are especially at risk. You are kidding yourself and your child probably already has done something like that. READ More on Parent and Teen Struggles: A Survival Guide

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An Interview with Randy Loren by Jennifer Shakeel

Teenagers and Money - The importance of money managementThere are times in my profession that I am blessed with the job of interviewing amazing people that are trying to do something incredible to help children and adults. This past week was one of those experiences. I was able to interview Mr. Randy Loren, author of the book Climbing the Money Mountain. This book, his mission really, is to make sure that each and every child in this country leaves high school with a certain level of financial literacy. Our children are the leaders of the future and if we do not equip them with the knowledge and skills they need to manage their lives how can we expect them to manage our country?

My first question to any author is what inspired them to create their latest project. For Mr. Loren it was his own teenage daughters. He had wanted to have a conversation with them about money and finances, and his one daughter, Mandy, who was interested in the topic but not in the conversation told him it would be better if he wrote her a letter and she would read it. His reply was, "How about if I write you a book."

While he was serious, his daughter laughed and told him to go ahead. So he began writing. I should back up for a moment. By profession Mr. Loren is a financial advisor with over 20 years experience helping grown adults sort out their financial matters. I asked him if he would agree with the statement that the reason so many kids are financially illiterate is due to the fact that many adults do not know how to effective manage money and that sometimes it is better to not pass on bad habits and let children figure things out on their own. He did agree.

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by Stephanie Partridge

sad teenage girl being comfortedThe moment I heard my daughter's voice on the other side of my bedroom door, I knew something was wrong. She knocked, waking me. I looked at the clock: 12 am. “Mom,” She said, “I need to talk to you.” Her voice was strained, tight. I could tell that she was struggling to keep it together. Something was wrong. I was out of bed in a heartbeat.

“What's up?” I asked as I opened the door. Her face did not reveal much, but I could see she was upset. Her trembling hand matched her trembling voice as she thrust a cell phone at me.

“Look.” She said.

It took me a moment to process what I was seeing, a text from someone to someone asking for nude photos and promising nude photos in return. My first reaction was that she had encountered some pervert somewhere and he was soliciting her. My mind began forming a plan of action. I wanted to throttle the creep, then it hit me. I KNEW this number, the sender of the text message. I also realized that this was not her phone, but her friend's cell. The picture slowly came into focus. My daughter's boyfriend had sent this text to her friend! I felt the small hairs on the back of my neck bristle as the realization hit me. The boy was a player and my daughter was heartbroken.

What had started out as a joke, two teenage girls sending a random message to my daughter's boyfriend had turned into major drama. A joke had turned into a tragedy. He had responded in a way that neither girl expected. At that midnight hour, the boyfriend had realized his blunder and come over to our house, only to be confronted by my son (also my daughter's best friend and strongest ally) who was not too happy that his sister was hurt by this guy.

Major drama in our house that night. READ More on Parenting Teens: Breakups and Broken Hearts

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by Jennifer Shakeel

happy young teenage girl enjoying the dayThere are children that are born that are just naturally independent, and there are other children that are less independent. As children grow we as parents need to encourage them to be independent. We want to know that when they are grown and on their own that they will be able to take care of themselves. Regardless of how old or young your child is, it is never to early or too late to encourage them to do things on their own.

Idea One: Don’t Give Answers Provide Direction

This applies more to school age children who are coming home with homework. I think it is natural for all children to ask for help with their homework… but to a good chunk of children help means they want you to give them the answers. Part of this is because we as parents want to make things easier for our kids so that they don’t get discouraged. In doing so though, we are taking away their independence.
This doesn’t mean you can’t help them. But only help, provide them direction and don’t give them the answer. For example, “How do you spell _____?” We don’t spell the word for our children. Instead we ask, “How do you think you spell it?”

Idea Two: Encourage Them to Try it On Their Own

Some kids will demand the chance to do things on their own. “Let me do it!” I am sure is something that we have all heard at one time or another. When they want to do it on their own, let them. For example the first time they want to dress themselves for school… or for the day, let them… and then let them wear what they put on. Hopefully it matches, and if it doesn’t then say, “Honey, that doesn’t really match are you sure you want to wear it?” Their answer is going to be yes, and they are going to tell you how it matches… let them wear it. Trust when I tell you that as they get older, you will say more than once to them, “Really, that is what you are wearing today?” I call it the hazards of teenagers and their taste in clothes.

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mother and teenage daughter having an early morning talkYounger kids love to talk, but once kids hit those teen years they seem to clam up. It can be frustrating when you try to get your teen to share what is going on in their life. Sometimes it's just hard to get them talking. Keeping in touch with your teen is definitely important, but if you can't get them to talk, it makes it difficult. There are some things that you can do to get your teen talking. Here are some of the top ways that you can start getting your teen to open up and talk to you.
 
Idea #1 - Make Sure You Are Available to Your Teen - If you want your teen to talk to you, you actually have to make sure that you are available to your teen. After all, if you are too busy to ever have time to talk, they aren't going to talk to you. Kids know when you are busy and when you are too busy, you are more likely to brush them off. When you take time out for the kids and make yourself available to your teen, they will be more likely to come to you for a talk.
 
Idea #2 - Don't Try Too Hard - Many parents make the mistake of trying to hard to get their kids to talk to them. This often makes them resist talking even more. Take away the pressure and relax. When you stop pushing and pressuring them, more than likely they will realize this and will be more likely to talk to you.
 
Idea #3 - Get Involved in Activities Together - Another way that you can get your teen to talk is to get involved in activities together. Do activities that they enjoy. It doesn't matter whether it is a physical activity or something creative. Both have a way of opening up your teen. Teens tend to start talking when they are doing things.

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Bored and procrasting teen - learn how to motivate and encourage themAre you a parent who has been trying to determine how to help your teenager overcome procrastination? If so, you may be pleased to know that there are several steps that you can take in order to help encourage proper time management in your teenager’s life. It has been estimated that approximately 90% of all students procrastinate at one point or another. While in his statistic he was highlighting students in college, this is a common figure when it comes to high school students as well. This psychologist was named William Knaus. In this educational time management how-to guide, you will learn about how to help your child overcome the burden of procrastination.

Tip 1 - Recognize It:

The first step to helping your teen overcome the issue of procrastination is to recognize it. You may find that your child knows that they need to do something, such as their homework, but they seem to avoid it altogether. Eventually, it will come to the point where they have very little time left to do what is needed. In turn, this results in a variety of potentially devastating emotions and feelings. These include feeling guilty, feeling as if they are not good enough and even depression in severe cases.

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young teenager stressed out sitting along on a park benchToday’s teenagers are constantly subjected to various types of anxiety and stress. Doing a good job parenting can be a challenge in these situations. As parents, church leaders, teachers, activity directors, and any other type of individual that deals directly with teenagers, it is essential to know and understand the amount of stress this age group faces, as well as the potential anxiety that may be experienced. As a parent, it is often difficulty to approach a teenager and discuss the topics of potential anxiety and even basic stress. However, it is not only our responsibility as parents, but necessary for the emotional intellect of our teenage children.
 
Here are a few ideas that may help in these situations, but first it is important to understand what teen stress and anxiety is, and what are some of the symptoms we can look for.

What is Teen Stress?

In order to talk to your teen about any stress and anxiety that they experience, you must first learn exactly what these two concepts are comprised of. Stress is a way in which the body of an individual responds to situations, circumstances, and other similar aspects to life. While there is often an association of stress being “bad”, there are many types of “good” stress as well. As the teen experiences stress, the body starts to allow various types of chemicals to be released in the body. While having an “outlet” to release stress is very beneficial to the mind and body of the teenager, most teens will hold on to the stress and anxiety because they are not equipped with the coping mechanisms to release it.

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Responsible teens are happy teensParents always hope for the best when bringing a child into the world. When my son was born and I held him for the first time, I could not stop the tears. I wanted my him to be happy and knew that I would do whatever I could for my child and that I would do anything to help him achieve and reach his lifes goals.

The first step in this quest is teaching our kids about responsibility. This starts the moment the child is able to understand and do simple things to the time they reache the teenage years.

Here are some things that will help teach the teens about responsibility.

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by Stacey Schifferdecker
 
should your teenager have a job?Should Your Teen Get A Job? I was surprised to recently learn that when my oldest son turns 14 in a few months, he can legally get a job. I always thought you had to be 16 to get a job, but 14- and 15-year-olds can work as long as they work no more than three hours a day and 18 hours a week during the school year. They also can’t work past 7:00 p.m. during the school year.
 
I don’t think Kegan is going to run out and start looking for a job when he turns 14, but it did start me thinking. In a couple years, he may want to get a job – should I let him? And if he doesn’t want one, should I make him get one anyway (if only to help pay for the increased car insurance costs when he turns 16)?

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teenager shopping online with a credit cardShould teenagers have credit cards? This is a question that every parent is facing these days and there is more pressure on this issue than ever.

As in any debate or issue, there are two very relevant sides to the issue and both sides have some exceedingly valid arguments.

On the one hand, kids having credit cards should teach them how to budget money and make sound financial decisions about money. They learn that if they want something and are responsible enough to work to have it, they can get it now and pay for it later. The down side of this is that peer pressure these days is at an all time high for teens and if they are just hanging out at the mall with all their friends and everyone has one thing and he does not, the credit card allows him to bend to that pressure and go pick up that $300 coat or $150 pair of jeans that everyone else is wearing and he has to have to fit in and be cool.

READ More on Teen Credit Cards - A Smart Idea?

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