We all want well adjusted and happy teenage sons and daughters. However, sometimes dealing with your teenager can be extremely challenging and tough, especially when you have a huge age gap that you have to cross. In addition, the adolescent years are perhaps the most difficult time that any person can undergo.
Mix all these factors and you have an explosive situation that frequently ends with arguments and crying sessions.
There are really no shortcuts when it comes to dealing with teenagers. They are truly difficult to handle, not only because they are undergoing so many changes in their lives but also because they are searching for themselves and their identities. With their increasing need for independence, you concern for their welfare can be seen as an interference and as a curtailment of their rights and their freedom.
This is why some kids often rebel against parents who are strict. They feel that their freedom and their independence are being taken from them without due cause. What is a genuine concern for them can be interpreted in a lot of different ways.
Another factor that may contribute to why parenting teenagers can be a nightmare is the role and influence of their peers. Face it, time will come when we will not be the only people in their lives. The time will come when they will be more comfortable asking advice from other people, when they will like to spend time in the company of other people. The peer group can be a major influence at this moment in their lives. Their immediate social groups can even influence the way they dress up, what they eat and even how they think.
Although it is important for parents like you to be there to guide them with their choices, it is also just as important to give them the leeway to experience the company of other people.
Trouble often arises when some parents find it hard to cope with this transition. They will sometimes become very strict with how their children spend their time. It is important that you realize what you are doing and change your attitude. This can be a major reason for your child to rebel and what is more, this time you are the one committing the mistake.
Let them go and let them experience life as they see fit… but also, don’t forget to set boundaries. Set rules that they should follow. That way, you might not be with them every day of their lives but your edicts will be.
Another important factor in parenting a teenager is the relationship that was fostered when they were young and the general bond that members of the family have. Teeners who come from families that are open with their feelings and are affectionate tend to be better than their peers when it comes to social interactions. They are more outgoing and more fun to be with.
Thus, their adjustments in school and in the changes that they are undergoing are easily managed. They are also more confident and more able to adapt to whatever challenges that they will face during this period.
A strong bond with your children will also reassure them of a support system, which teenagers badly need during the adolescent’s period of searching and confusion. Knowing that they have parents whom they can turn to when they have problems, a family who will not censure them or judge their actions, people who will accept them for whoever they are can go a long long way in coping with the challenges that they may encounter as teeners.