Reflections on Our Parenting Skills

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by Dr. Caron Goode

Here are some simple questions to ask yourself about your own parenting inner voice:

1. Who does the voice really sound like in your head?

2. If you like the voice, and it seems nurturing, see how you emulate this voice with your own children. What examples can you try today?

3. If you don’t like your inner parenting voice, change it to a person in your head that you like to listen to. Here are some suggestions: wise granny, skillful coach, enthusiastic cheerleader, nurturing [tag-tec]parent[/tag-tec], caring friend. Which one works for you?

4. Identify the voice qualities that you like and dislike: quality, tone, speech rate, underlying feeling of the voice. Do you use the same tone, quality, or facial look with your [tag-ice]children[/tag-ice]?

5. After listening to yourself for awhile, write down the three most distinctive phrases that you hear repeated in your head most often.

6. Watch to see if your repeat any of these phrases to your children.

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