Interview by Jennifer Shakeel
Parenting Tips for a happier healthier family
This week I had the absolute fortune of interviewing Dr. Sylvia Rimm. I am sure that many of you have heard of Dr. Rimm. She had a regular segment on the Today Show for nine years. She is also a best-selling author of books such as "See Jane Win," "How Jane Won," "Rescuing the Emotional Lives of Overweight Children," and "How to Parent So Children Will Learn" to name a few. Dr. Rimm is also a clinical professor at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine and she is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, OH. I was very grateful that she was able to give me an interview.
Dr. Rimm has done extensive research on children that are gifted, children that are underachievers and overweight children and is considered among the top elite when it comes to many different parenting issues, families and issues that trouble tweens and teens. As you can imagine along with be grateful for her time I was overwhelmed with questions I wanted to ask. If you visit her website you will have access to more information then I could cover here, as well as you have the opportunity send Dr. Rimm your question about parenting and have her answer it.
For our talk what she and focused on were really ground rules for parenting. The reason is because in her research she has found there are certain things that parents of happy, successful and achieving children do to help make sure that their children excel, that other parents aren't doing when it comes to parenting their children. After talking with Dr. Rimm, I was relieved to know that my husband and I were doing most of them… and that I found out the areas we need to tweak alittle to get better results.
The first "pillar" we will call it has to do with the words you use. The words that you use with your child to discuss that child, as well as the words you use about that child to other people are what helps to mold that child. Your words are actually the building blocks to the identity you child has. Dr. Rimm says that it is important that we are using positive words when we are talking to our children or when we are talking about them. READ More on Parenting Advice from the Best
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Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
Diversity Makes the World Go Around
Even in the 21st century, kids grow up with a lot of prejudice and misinformation about other cultures and races around the world. Often these prejudices come out in their relationships with people at school, and even in relationships that they have later in life. For this reason, it's very important that as parents we work to raise globally aware kids.
The world is a much smaller place than ever before, and teaching kids to be globally aware is an important part of their education. While many parents think they can't expose their children to the world because of travel costs, raising kids that are globally aware doesn't have to be expensive. In fact, there are many things you can do that don't require traveling abroad or even spending a lot of money. If you are concerned about raising your children to be globally aware, here are some easy parenting tips that can help you achieve this.
Tip #1 - Purchase a Nice Globe
One great thing you can do to work on raising globally aware kids is to simply purchase a nice globe for your home. Of course, make sure that it is up to date, so you can use it for a reference in your home. A globe isn't that expensive, so for a few bucks you can make your kids more globally aware.
Tip #2 - Sample Cuisine from Other Countries
Perhaps the best way to get to know a culture is to start out by sampling their food. You may want to take a night a week, or even just one night a month to sample cuisine from other countries. Often you can purchase takeout with different culture flavors, but you may have more fun if you prepare the dishes on your own. Perhaps get some recipes, buy the ingredients, and then get the kids involved. You'll all enjoy cooking these interesting dishes together, and once they are done, you can sample them and have a great time together as a family enjoying the tastes of various cultures.
Tip #3 - Consider Learning a Language as a Family
Learning a language on your own or at school can be hard. However, consider learning a language as a family if you want to increase global awareness for your kids. You could take classes locally or get a good home program. Many kids find a new language exciting, but don't make it feel like work or like school to them. Make it fun and enjoy speaking to each other with the new phrases that you learn. READ More on Parenting Tips for Raising Globally Aware Kids
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
Anything Worth Having is Worth Waiting For
by Jennifer Shakeel
Boy learning the virtues of patience
One of the greatest virtues that we as parents can teach our children is patience. I know that in our hectic lives where we are often surrounded by the chaos of work, being mom and dad, driving to practices and games as well as trying to be a husband or a wife to our spouse… patience if often far from our mind. We have all been irritated at the time it took to get through a drive thru for a sweet tea, but we as adults also understand the importance of being patient.
The best things in life are the things that we had to wait to get. For example, each one of my children and my husband, all four of them I had to wait for… and I now I don't know what I would do without them. You tend to not take for granted things that took patience to get. This is an appreciation that is missing from many youths of today. I hate to say… but the people that are at fault for this… the parents.
I understand the reason, for many if they just give in to what their child wants when they want it… it is one less headache they have to deal with. But as that child gets older, the demands are going to be greater… and honestly they are going to end up being very frustrated as adults when things don't go their way. While it is far easier to start when they are young to teach them patience… it is never too late to start.
This begs that question, how do we teach our children to be patient? Here are a number of tips that you can try, these are tips that I have used and they worked on two of three children. The third one is only 8 ½ months old, so she is still a work in progress. READ More on Parenting Tips of the Week: A Lesson in Patience
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
First Day of School
With school starting many kids get a little apprehensive about being alone at school. They worry that no one will like them or want to be a working partner with them in class. There are a number of things that you can do to help squash the fears of your youngsters as school starts.
Tip One: It's the First Day of School for Everyone
Everyone has jitters on the first day and during the first week or so of school. Let your child know that everyone in the class is going to have the same fears as your child. Everyone is worried they won't have friends or that they will be the last one picked as a partner. READ More on Parenting Tips: First Day of School Jitters
Filed under Education and School, Parenting Tips by More4kids
by Jennifer Shakeel
It is that time of the year again. Everyone is getting ready for school. The schedules are being sent out, the school supply lists and yes, the school clothes. If your child/children are anything like mine then every season means a new persona. Goodbye to the country western cowgirl look, and the nicely dressed young man… we now have the rocker children.
This of course has brought up a few issues over wardrobe items. So in an effort to not stifle their need to be individuals, I came up with a few compromises. I am not going to tell you that they will all work with you and your children, but this is what is working in our house… and so far everyone seems to be happier than they were a week ago.
Tip One: Breathe
There are multiple times in our children's lives that they make a move towards independence. The first time they want to tie their own shoes, pick out their own clothes… cut their food themselves. We all crumble inside the very first time we hear, "I can do it myself." Breathe. Changing their persona on the outside is another one of those times when they want to prove they can do it themselves. Just breathe, we all go through phases.
Tip Two: Understand Who Your Child Is and Talk to Them
Our oldest is heavy into the rocker phase. She got to go spend part of the summer with some friends in a big city. Naturally she picked up a few things from those friends… such as attitude and dressing habits. The attitude we quickly put in check, but the style of clothes… well, is just not acceptable in our house. With my husband at his wits end over the clothing and me cringing every time our daughter came out of her room, we had to draw a line, and have a little talk. READ More on Parenting Tips: School Clothes Shopping So That Everyone is Happy
Filed under Activities, Parenting Tips by More4kids
How many times have you heard the saying that “Fighting is a natural part of life,” or “A good fight now and again is good for the relationship and keeps things alive”? But really, is that how you feel? Do you truly believe that fighting with the family, with your spouse, and especially your children, is good for you all?
Having fights within the family is definitely not a fun and pleasant experience. Each fight, regardless how small, will leave you drained of energy and feeling negative afterwards. Not only will you feel bad for the things you said and did during the fight, but your children will walk away feeling rejected, lost, unloved.
And do you wonder who suffers the most when fights occur in the family? Your children. You know that it is the kids that suffer the most when you have had nasty explosive fights. And you also know that a great deal of ugliness comes out that you would rather not have exposed to them on a regular basis. READ More on Taking A Vow To End Fighting With Your Kids
by Stephanie Partridge
No parent wants to see their teen hurt, abused or manipulated. It our basest instincts to step in and protect our children from harm. However, we can not protect our children from every single hurt and there will be times when you simply aren't around to shield your child. The best thing that you can do is actually a two prong approach. The first prong is keeping an open, honest and close relationship with your child. Let them know that they can talk to you about anything. The second prong is teaching your child how to handle harmful situations, instilling the confidence to recognize when they are being mistreated and the strength to walk away.
Destructive relationships come in many different shapes and sizes. Sometimes the destructive element is very apparent, other times it can barely be detected. The faces of the destructive relationship can be equally obscure. The polite, soft spoken, church going young man dating your daughter could be an abusive, angry tyrant behind closed doors. The sweet, pretty cheerleader that your son is dating may be horrible critical and verbally abusive when no one is around to hear. READ More on Helping your Teen Escape Abusive or Destructive Relationships
Here is the video that Jeff Yalden, a teen motivational coach recently shared with me on the importance of spending time with your kids, even if it's just a few minutes:
Additional thoughts from Kevin at More4kids: As parents we can easily get wrapped up with work, life, seemingly impossible deadlines, and other obligations. To make matters worse, some parents have to travel for work which causes even less time to be spent with their kids. In this economy sometimes what we do just to keep the house over our families heads and food on the table also causes us to spend less and less time with our kids. However, now matter how pressed we are, we MUST find time for our kids, and it does not have to be a lot of time to make a difference. It may be a phone call to the family during the day to check up on everyone, or a good night call when traveling.
These small moments can be a defining moment in your child's life. It tells them you care and think about them all the time. The last thing we want our kids to do is think that we don't love them. That will affect them the rest of our lives. The most important thing, no matter how busy and crazy things are is our lives, is to keep the connection with our kids, and let them know you will be there when they need you, no matter what.
Jeff Yalden is a teen life coach, a youth motivational speaker. He is a very busy person, parent, uncle, that really 'gets it'. In the video below he shares his philosophy that family comes first and that no matter how busy you are you need to be there and find time for your kids. You can view more great motivational videos by Jeff at his website: http://www.jeffyalden.com/youth-motivational-speaker/
by Jennifer Shakeel
Some troubled teens turn to drugs - will this happen to your teen?
There are few things that scare me as a parent. One of those scary things is the thought of one of my kids doing drugs then compound that with the fact that it could slip under my nose. We all want to sit there and think that our children wouldn't do something like that. I urge you to take alook at the current national statistics on Adolescent drug abuse, all of which can be found here http://www.adolescent-substance-abuse.com/signs-drug-use.html You will be shocked at what you see. You will be even more shocked to find out that your own child has tried or is friends with someone that has tried an illicit substance.
The goal of this week's tips then is to offer you ways to spot drug/substance use and how to stop it from occurring at all or again.
Tip One: Know the Signs of Drug Abuse
It is difficult to spot something if you don't know what it is you are looking for. So I want to give you 14 signs that your child is using drugs. Now keep in mind that they do not have to exhibit ALL of these signs, even one or two should be enough for you to be concerned. Here they are:
• Abnormal sustained fatigue or bursts of energy
• Drastic change in mood with no rhythm or reason to it.
• Change in sleep or appetite patterns
• Decline in personal hygiene
• Withdrawal from family activities or decline in adherence to family rules
• Change in friends or loss of interest in typical activities
• Decline in school performance and/or attendance
• Loss of job or irresponsibility during work that is pointed out
• Aggressive behavior
• Unaccounted for blocks of time
• Being caught in lies about whereabouts or events
• Unexplained loss of money or possessions
• Finding drug paraphernalia or noticing a lot of material with drug references
• Legal involvement
Tip Two: Get Involved with Your Child
READ More on Parenting Tips: Catching and Preventing Adolescent Substance Abuse
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips, Teenagers by More4kids
Young Teen Girl Counting Her Money
Recently, More4kids did an interview with an author who writes books on teaching children, particularly teenagers about money. You can read the interview here the interview on teaching kids about money with Randy Loren. I have to say that I learned a lot, I also learned a few things that I was doing wrong and a few things that I was doing correctly. While I don't want to take away from the interview I do want to offer you a few tips on how to make sure that your child understands the value of money.
Tip One: Pay Them an Allowance
I know that there are a number of parents out there that give their children an allowance. Note that my tip is to pay them an allowance. I say pay because they need to understand that money has to be earned, it isn't just given to you because you are cute. You can start paying an allowance when kids are 3 and 4. Trust me when I tell you they understand that money is a good thing. So pick one thing that they can do each day to get paid for. It can be making sure all of their crayons are put away neatly in the box. Just make sure the money is tied to a task.
Tip Two: Teach them Savings
You would be surprised at the number of kids these days that do not know what a piggy bank is. It can be an empty coffee container with a slit cut into the top. Teach your kids that saving is important. Start when they are young. In our house, our children are made to split their money into three equal parts. A third they are to save, a third they can spend on whatever they want and the final third is to be donated to a charity or organization that they feel needs the money. Our son donates to the Nets for Africa because it is important to him that kids don't die, and our oldest daughter donates money to different animal shelters because that is where her passion is.
Tip Three: Talk to Them about Money
My husband and I made the mistake of not telling our kids when money was tight. Kids don't understand the cost of living. That electricity costs money, that food costs money and that the roof over their head costs money. No you don't have to tell them how much each bill is and let them know whether or not you are able to pay your bills on time, but they need to understand that there is a price associated to everything that they have in their life. READ More on Parenting Tips: Making Sure Your Children are Financially Literate
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
