by Patricia Hughes
Happy Family of Four enjoying quality family time!
Years ago, I heard Bill Cosby say in a stand up comedy routine that parents don't care about fairness, they just want quiet. At the time, I had no children and it was just funny. Later, as a parent I saw it again and recognized it as a pearl of wisdom. All parents want a peaceful home.
I know all parents want peace because my children like to watch Nanny 911 and the lack of peace is a recurrent theme. This show taught me a valuable lesson, and not just that things aren't as bad in my home as they seem. Whatever the other issues in a family, a lack of peace is always at the core.
A few years ago, I was starting to struggle with sibling fighting, squabbling and yelling. The child not involved in the fight would end up turning up the TV or CD player in response to the noise. On some days, the noise level was out of control. It was destroying the peace in our family and affecting all of us. We'd find ourselves yelling in response to their fighting and it had a negative effect the parents and children.
Around that time I came across a book that caught my eye in Borders. The book is Peaceful Parents, Peaceful Kids: Practical Ways to Create a Calm and Happy Home by Naomi Drew. That book helped me realize that a peaceful family begins with me. If I wanted to change the dynamic in the house, it was possible. In this book, Drew discusses what she calls three essentials for peaceful parenting that I have used with our kids with success.
The first is to make the home a place of kind words. In our family, the sibling fighting often starts when one of the kids says something mean or puts down another child. That child responds with another insult. The fight soon escalates. To break this cycle, there should be a rule that no person puts down any other member of the family and the rule needs to be enforced. READ More on Parenting: A Peaceful Family Begins With Me
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Filed under Communication, Family, Parenting by More4kids
by Maureen LoBue - President of the Mean Moms Club
When your first baby was born, did you look at that perfect little face and say, "I'm going to be the perfect mom for you"? Most of us did. But you know what? There is no such thing. Most of us realize that when we have the second baby. By the third baby, experienced moms look at that perfect little face and say, "I hope I can survive this".
Most of us truly believe we can be perfect moms and want to be with our whole hearts. Unfortunately, it is impossible. There is no such thing, unless you watched Leave it to Beaver. And we know June was really an android that Ward built in his garage.
Three points need to be made about this idea of being the perfect mom.
- First, realize it's impossible and be ok with the fact that you are not, and never will be, the perfect mom. Take a deep breath & say it, " It's ok!"
- Second, once you accept that, life and parenting will get much easier because you get to buy out of the guilt that we are typically so good at. That guilt just wears us down and we don't need anything else to wear us down!
- Third, recognize the fact that this is beyond tough, beyond exhausting, beyond anything else you'll ever do. You must have a support network, whether that is family or friends or playgroups. If you are exhausted or overwhelmed you cannot be there at all for your kids, let alone part of the time.
READ More on I'm going to be the perfect mom…yeah, right!
It seems that everyone is cutting back. More and more people are falling upon hard times. The cost of living keeps rising, people are losing their jobs, getting laid off, having their pay or hours reduced and it seems many people just can't get a break. Even our home has felt the crunch. We recently had our gas cut off. As a single mom raising two teenagers alone, sometimes my paycheck just doesn't go that far. We are moving to a cheaper place in a couple of weeks (to ease our financial burden a bit) so I did not get it turned back on. At this point I really can't anyway.
It was a silly bookkeeping error on my part. Instead of paying the gas company, I accidentally double paid the utilities company. I am making small payments to repay the bill. In the meantime, we have no hot water and can not use our stove/oven. So, it was time for a family meeting. We discussed our situation and came up with a couple of solutions. READ More on Family Matters: When Hard Times Hit your Home
Summer is here already and before we know it, it will be gone. The kids will be back to school and life will go back to "normal." Why not take the time to make the most of the summer months with your kids. As parents, we have so much to do, and while yes quality time is more important then quantity, summer offers us the chance to give our kids both of those things.
I am not saying that you have to plan an elaborate get away. You don't even have to spend thousands of dollars. This week's tips are all about planning the perfect family vacation, the perfect vacation for your family that is.
Tip One: Pick a Destination Together
This is a great idea no matter how old your kids are. I think that part of the reason that so many families are holding back from going on vacation is because we as parents think that we have to make the trip to Cancun or to Disney or some other big name place. Talk to your kids, and your spouse. You may be surprised to find out that really all they want is a few days at the log cabin at their favorite beach. READ More on Creating the Perfect Family Vacation
This past year, 2008 brought about many excellent movies for the entire family. There were movies about fearsome animals, movies about interesting adventures, and family movies that took place in another world. With all the great releases this past year, it's definitely hard to choose the best ones. However, if you missed out on some of the family movies of 2008, here's a list of some of the top one's you'll want to see with the whole family as well as the Editor's Pick for the year.
EDITORS CHOICE: Kung Fu Panda
One of the most exciting movies of the year was definitely Kung Fu Panda. This movie was about a panda bear that was a bit on the clumsy side who later becomes the kung fu hero of the entire city. Of course no one thought Po, the panda, who worked in the noodle shop with his father, would ever become a martial arts hero, although this is what he's dreamed of all his life. When an ancient prophecy finally comes to pass, suddenly Po the Panda realizes he is going to have to save everyone from the destruction that is coming in the future. This is a movie that will keep you on the edge of your seat while bringing the whole family plenty of laughs as well.
READ More on Best Family Movies 2008
Filed under Activities, Family by More4kids
