Parenting

Ke Aʻo ʻana i nā keiki e kaʻana like

I ka makahiki hea e lilo ai ke kaʻana like i mea kūpono i ka nohona pili kanaka a pehea ʻoe e paipai ai i kāu mau keiki e kaʻana like? ʻO ka mea mua, e nānā kākou i ka mea a ke keiki e aʻo ai no ke kaʻana like ʻana i kahi mea pāʻani. A laila, e ʻimi mākou i nā ala e hoʻonohonoho ai i ke kahua no ka kaʻana like ʻana i kou nānā ʻana i kāu keiki e ulu ana i ke kahua pāʻani aʻe.

na Kauka Caron Goode

Hiki ke huhū nā mākua ʻōpio, ʻoi aku ka poʻe mua, ke ʻike lākou ua makemake kā lākou keiki ʻelua makahiki e mālama i kāna mau mea pāʻani iā ​​ia iho. He aha ke ala kūpono i ka wā e uē ai kāu kaikamahine ʻōpio a hopu i ko haʻi waiwai? I ka makahiki hea e lilo ai ke kaʻana like i mea kūpono i ka nohona pili kanaka a pehea ʻoe e paipai ai i kāu mau keiki e kaʻana like?  
ʻO ka mea mua, e nānā kākou i ka mea a ke keiki e aʻo ai no ke kaʻana like ʻana i kahi mea pāʻani. A laila, e ʻimi mākou i nā ala e hoʻonohonoho ai i ke kahua no ka kaʻana like ʻana i kou nānā ʻana i kāu keiki e ulu ana i ke kahua pāʻani aʻe. ʻO ka hapa nui o nā mea a pau e noʻonoʻo i ke ʻano o ia… 
Ua ala aʻela kāu keiki liʻiliʻi mai kona hiamoe ʻana, a hele ʻolua e kiʻi i nā meaʻai i makemake nui ʻia no ka ʻaina ahiahi. Loaʻa iā ʻoe kāu papa inoa, hui pū kāu keiki, a hoʻopaʻa ʻoe i ka hale kūʻai me ka hoʻonohonoho pono a me ka minoʻaka. He maʻalahi a leʻaleʻa kēia huakaʻi. ʻAʻole koke, paʻi ke kākau ʻōlelo hale kūʻai iā ʻoe ma ka poʻohiwi a noi iā ʻoe e kaʻana like i kāu kaʻa, i kēia minuke… ua pau kou manawa… 
ʻElua a ʻEkolu Makahiki 
E komo nui ana kāu mau keiki ʻelua a ʻekolu makahiki me kā lākou [tag-self] mea pāʻani[/tag-self]. ʻO kā lākou pāʻani ka hana a me ke aʻo koʻikoʻi, e like me kāu kūʻai maikaʻi ʻana i kāu misionari. E like me kou huhū ʻana i ka paʻi ʻana ma ka poʻohiwi mai ke kākau ʻōlelo hale kūʻai, pēlā nō kāu keiki ke hoʻopau ʻia kona noʻonoʻo a me ka leʻaleʻa e ka manaʻo o ka makua.  
ʻAʻole manaʻo ʻia nā keiki o ʻelua a ʻekolu mau makahiki e kaʻana like a pono e aʻo i kekahi mau helu ma mua o ka hiki. 
1. Haʻaheo o ka ʻona: I ka ʻimi ʻana o nā keiki i kā lākou mau mea pāʻani a ʻike i kā lākou kaʻa pahu pahu punahele, nā holoholona i hoʻopaʻa ʻia, ka pākeke hiki ke huggable a i ʻole ka pepeke punahele, ulu ka mea pili. ʻO ka "loaʻa" iā lākou kekahi mea e like me ka mea pāʻani he kumu ia o ka mahalo, a ʻo ia ka manawa e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke aʻo i ka mālama ʻana i nā waiwai - kahi e noho ai nā mea pāʻani a pehea e mālama ai i nā mea pāʻani.   
2. Me ka mana'o o ka ho'ona'auao 'ana mai ka mahalo i ke koho 'ana o ke keiki e ka'ana like 'ole i kāna mau mea pā'ani me kekahi. Hiki i nā keiki empathic ma'amau ke ka'ana like. Pono nā keiki ʻē aʻe e mahalo i ko lākou hiki ke "loaʻa" kahi pāʻani a hana me ia e like me kona makemake. ʻO kēia kuleana a me ka mahalo i ke koho e ʻike i nā keiki hiki iā lākou ke hoʻomalu i nā ʻano o ko lākou kaiapuni. ʻO ke koho ʻana i mahalo ʻia e kōkua iā lākou e mahalo i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.  
E aʻo e kaʻana like ma o ka pāʻani 
E ʻike ʻoe ma nā kaʻina o ke aʻo ʻana e pāʻani me kekahi keiki ʻē aʻe e hilinaʻi ana ka ʻike o kahi keiki i ka noho ʻana o nā hoa ma ke ao o kahi keiki, inā ma nā hui pāʻani, kula hānai, a i ʻole [tag-tec] kula kula [/tag-tec] hoʻonohonoho. ʻO kēia nā ʻano o nā ʻano e ulu ai nā kamaliʻi i mea e aʻo ai i nā mākau pilikanaka e like me ke kaʻana like, nānā ʻia a hoʻopaʻa ʻia e ka mea noiʻi ʻo Mildred Parten.  
1, Pāʻani hoʻokahi Me he keiki lā e pāʻani mālie ana iā ia iho a hiki ke nānā i nā keiki ʻē aʻe e pāʻani ana.
2. Pāʻani like 'o ia ho'i, hiki i ke keiki ke pā'ani ma ka 'ao'ao o kekahi, me nā mea like 'ole, a 'a'ole e ho'ā'o kekahi keiki e ke'ake'a a ho'ohuli paha i kekahi.  
E hoʻolilo nā keiki ʻelua a ʻekolu makahiki i ka "hoʻonaʻauao" a leʻaleʻa i kā lākou mau mea pāʻani a i ʻole nā ​​​​hana ma ka pāʻani mehameha a me ka pāʻani like. I kēia manawa, ke ʻike nei lākou i nā keiki [tag-ice] ʻē aʻe [/tag-ice] a me ka wehewehe ʻana i nā palena.  
Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe nā keiki liʻiliʻi a me nā keiki a hiki i ʻekolu mau makahiki, ʻo nā hui pāʻani liʻiliʻi kahi ala e paipai ai i ka hoʻomohala ʻana i nā mākau pilikanaka. Inā lawe mai kēlā me kēia keiki i kā lākou mau mea pāʻani ponoʻī a hiki iā ia ke waiho i loko o ko lākou wahi ponoʻī, ua wehewehe ʻia nā palena no ʻoe e nānā i ke aʻo ʻana o nā hoa e kaʻana like me kekahi. ʻO kāu kuleana ma ke ʻano he makua ke nīnau i nā nīnau kūpono a hoʻohālike i nā pane kūpono. Eia nā laʻana pōkole ʻelua.  
Makemake ke keiki i ka mea pā'ani a ke keiki 'elua: 
"E ke keiki ʻelua, hiki i ke keiki hoʻokahi ke pāʻani me kāu mea pāʻani?" Inā "ʻae," a laila e kōkua i ke keiki e hāʻawi i ka mea pāʻani me ka mahalo no nā koho maikaʻi. Inā "ʻaʻole" a laila e wehewehe i ke keiki ʻelua nona ka mea pāʻani i ke keiki a ʻaʻole kāna hoʻoholo, a he mea hou aʻe kāu e ʻimi ai ma ʻaneʻi, a laila e hoʻohuli i ka manaʻo o ke keiki. 
Makemake ke keiki hoʻokahi a me ʻelua i nā poloka like:
E nīnau, "He ala anei e loaʻa ai iā ʻolua kekahi mau poloka? E hōʻike mai iaʻu pehea e hana ai i kēia. E noho i lalo a kali iā lākou e hana i kā lākou hoʻonā ponoʻī.
Kawaihae
ʻO Kauka Caron B. Goode ka mea nāna i hoʻokumu i ka Academy for Coaching Parents International, kahi papahana hoʻomaʻamaʻa a hōʻoia no nā kumu aʻo makua. Ma waho aʻe o nā hana me ke kula, ʻo Kauka Goode ka mea hoʻoponopono hoʻokumu o ka pūnaewele InspiredParenting.net, a me ka mea nana i kakau i na buke he umikumamakahi, o na buke hou loa E kōkua i nā keiki e hoʻoponopono i ka pilikia a me ka ʻeha, aia kekahi mau mokuna e pili ana i kona hoʻohana ʻana i nā hoʻolālā moʻolelo. No ka ʻike hou aku ma The Academy for Coaching Parents International a i ʻole e kau inoa no nā hoʻolaha kula, e kipa www.acpi.biz .

ʻAʻole hiki ke kope a paʻi hou ʻia kekahi ʻāpana o kēia ʻatikala ma kekahi ʻano me ka ʻae ʻole o More4Kids Inc © 2006

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Kaomi ma aneʻi e hoʻopuka i kahi manaʻo

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  • Ua hele maoli mākou i kēlā ʻāpana "Naʻu" holoʻokoʻa. Nīnau wale au iā ia pehea kona manaʻo inā ʻaʻole makemake kekahi e kaʻana like me ia. ʻO ka maʻamau ka hana maʻamau!

  • ʻO ia kekahi o nā manawa kūʻokoʻa loa o ka mālama ʻana i kahi keiki liʻiliʻi i ka wā i ʻōlelo ai ka mea haʻiʻōlelo ma ka hui o ko mākou makuahine ʻaʻole pono e hoʻopaʻi ʻia kā mākou mau keiki ʻelua makahiki a i ʻole e koi nui ʻia e kaʻana like no ka mea ʻaʻole lākou i kēlā pae o ka ulu ʻana. Maikaʻi mau ka loaʻa ʻana o ka ʻike e kōkua iā mākou e makua i kā mākou maikaʻi loa!

  • Ua ʻike au i kaʻu hūnōna wahine e aʻo ana ma ʻaneʻi he 7 mahina e kaʻana like i kāna sock ma ka noho pōʻai me ia, kona makuakāne, kona makuahine a me aʻu. Nīnau ʻo ia iā ia inā e kaʻana like ʻo ia i kāna sock a kīkoʻo i kona lima, a laila hāʻawi ʻo ia i ka makuakāne, a hāʻawi mai iaʻu, a hāʻawi ʻo ia i ka pēpē. Ua ʻakaʻaka ʻo ia a hauʻoli i ka pāʻani. Ua hoʻomau mākou i kēia hana me ia, me ka hoʻohui ʻana i nā keiki ʻē aʻe, ʻoiai ua hoʻonui ʻia kona pōʻai o nā hoaaloha. Ua noʻonoʻo ʻo ia inā hāʻawi ʻo ia i kāna mea punahele, e hoʻi mai ana.

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