na Jennifer Shakeel
ʻAʻole pili i kou manaʻo e pili ana i kāu keiki a me ke aloha ʻaʻole paha ʻoe e mākaukau no ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi keikikāne a i ʻole he hoaaloha. E hiki mai ana kēlā manawa ma mua o kou ʻike ʻana a ma ke ʻano he makua ua loaʻa iā ʻoe ke kuleana e hoʻonohonoho i ka leo a alakaʻi i kāu ʻōpio i kēia manawa hoihoi i ko lākou ola ʻōpio. Ua hiki mai nei ia makou; ʻO kā mākou kaikamahine 15 makahiki i loaʻa kāna keikikāne mua. E like me kou ʻike e hiki mai ana ka manawa, hoʻopau ia i kou hanu ke hiki mai.
Hiki i kekahi mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ke kōkua iā ʻoe a me kāu keiki e hoʻokele i kēia milestone a hoʻokokoke i kāu pilina.
1. Pono mua ʻoe e ʻae e hiki mai ana kēia lā a hoʻomākaukau no ia, ma mua o ka hiki ʻana mai. Ma mua o ka lele ʻana o kāu ʻōpio i loko o ka wai aloha, e loaʻa iā ʻoe ka manawa e hoʻonohonoho i ke kahua no kā lākou pilina aloha. E kōkua iā lākou e hana i nā hoaaloha o nā kāne, e hoʻohālike i nā kūlana o kou ʻohana a e hōʻailona i nā ʻano maikaʻi o nā hoaaloha a lākou e lawe mai ai i ka home. Inā he kuleana ko kāu ʻohana, mahalo i ka manaʻoʻiʻo a me ka hoʻonaʻauao a laila kōkua i kāu mau keiki e mahalo i kēlā mau ʻano i loko o lākou iho. ʻO ka makemake iā lākou iho a me ka ʻike i ko lākou wahi e kū ai, ma mua o ka hāʻule ʻana i loko o kahi aloha e hāʻawi iā lākou i kahi hoʻolālā maikaʻi no nā pilina olakino.
2. Ke hoʻi mai kāu keiki i ka home me ka ʻulaʻula o ke aloha i ko lākou mau maka, e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka mea āna i "makemake ai" a i ʻole "aloha". ʻAʻole kēia ka manawa e hoʻomāʻewaʻewa ai i kāu keiki, a e haʻi aku iā ia he ʻōpiopio loa a ʻakaʻaka paha i kāna mea aloha. Akā, e hoʻolauleʻa me kāu ʻōpio i hiki iā lākou ke ʻike i kahi kanaka maikaʻi loa a kaʻana like i nā manaʻo hoihoi. Mālama kēia iā ʻoe i ka loop, a e hoʻomau ʻoe i nā laina wehe o ke kamaʻilio. Inā haʻi kāu keiki he ʻumi makahiki iā ʻoe e hele ana ʻo ia me ke keiki ma lalo o ka poloka, mai lele wale ʻoe a haʻi aku "ʻAʻole ʻoe e hele i kahi!" akā, e noʻonoʻo i ke ʻano o kēia iā ia. ʻO ia paha ka noho pū ʻana ma luna o ke kaʻa.
3. I ka nui o kāu keiki e pili pono ai, e hoʻomau i ka ʻike. E noi iā lākou e haʻi iā ʻoe i ko lākou wahi e hele ai, a me wai, a i ka manawa e manaʻo ai lākou e hoʻi mai. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻoulu i kēia mahalo no nā makahiki he nui ma mua o ka loaʻa ʻana o kāu keiki e pili ana ma nā ʻano ʻelua. ʻO ka mea mua, pono ʻoe e hana like. He mea ia o ka mahalo a me ka palekana. "E hele ana au i Wal Mart me ka hoalauna, a pono wau e hoʻi i ka hola 2:00 pm" he ʻoluʻolu maʻamau. Hiki iā ʻoe ke nīnau iā lākou i ko lākou ulu ʻana e hana like. “Mama, inā maikaʻi, e pāʻani ana au i ka pōpeku ma ka paka me Bill. E hoʻi ana au no ka ʻaina ahiahi. Inā loaʻa i kāu keiki kēlā ʻano maʻamau, hiki iā ʻoe ke manaʻo i ke kahua pili pū kekahi.
Hiki iaʻu ke haʻi iā ʻoe mai kā mākou ʻike hou loa ua hoʻi mai kā mākou kaikamahine i ka home a kamaʻilio maoli iā mākou e pili ana i ke keiki liʻiliʻi i noi aku iā ia… ua hana ʻo ia i kēia ma mua o ka haʻi ʻana iā ia. Nīnau mākou i kā mākou nīnau a pau, ʻo wai ʻo ia, he aha kāu ʻike e pili ana iā ia, ʻehia ona makahiki, he aha ke ʻano o nā māka i loaʻa iā ia a pili ʻo ia i nā hana kula. ʻO ka hapa nui o nā nīnau a mākou i loaʻa ʻole iā ia ka pane. No laila ua haʻi mākou iā ia he mau mea kēia e ʻike maoli ai ma mua o ka haʻi ʻana iā ia ʻae.
4. Ma mua o ka "lā mua" hoʻomaʻamaʻa me kāu keiki i ʻoluʻolu lākou. Kūkākūkā i nā ʻano pilikanaka kūpono, a pane i nā nīnau e hiki mai ana, mai ka ʻai ʻana i ka inu ʻana a me nā mea a pau ma waena. E lilo i mea hoʻolohe. Hiki i ka hapa nui o ka poʻe ʻōpio ke kelepona hele, e hoʻomaopopo i kāu keiki he kelepona wale nō ʻoe, a ʻaʻole e hoʻohewa iā lākou no ke kelepona ʻana iā ʻoe.
Pono wau e ʻae he ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo maoli kēia a mākou i poina ai. Ua manaʻo mākou ma muli o ke ʻano o ka hānai ʻia ʻana o kā mākou kaikamahine e ʻike ʻo ia i ka hana. ʻAe, ʻoi aku ka nui o ke kula kiʻekiʻe i nā haʻawina i aʻo ʻia i ko lākou wā ʻōpio. Ua hele mai ʻo ia i kēia keikikāne, ua hālāwai mākou me ia… Pīhoihoi wau i ka pili ʻana o ko lāua noho ʻana i kekahi i kekahi, ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o ko lāua puliki ʻana ma luna o ka noho. ʻAʻole me aʻu ma ʻaneʻi, he pule wale nō lāua i "kaʻakaʻaka" ai! I koʻu nīnau ʻana iā ia e pili ana i ke ʻano o kona noho ʻana me ia, kāna pane, "Pela koʻu manaʻo i ka hana ʻana o nā kāne." I koʻu nīnau ʻana iā ia i hea i ka honua i loaʻa ai ia manaʻo, "ʻO ia ka hana a nā kāne ma ke kula."
Pono wau e wehewehe iā ia he pule wale nō lāua me kēia keikikāne. ʻAʻole ia he ʻano kūpono no ka pilina ʻōpio a i ʻole me kekahi mea āna i ʻike ʻole ai.
5. Leʻaleʻa mākou i ka hāʻawi makana i ka poʻe a mākou e aloha ai, pēlā pū kā mākou mau keiki. E paipai iā lākou e hāʻawi kūpono. ʻAʻole paha e hāʻawi ka ʻumikūmālua makahiki i nā mea nani, a me nā mea lole a i ʻole nā makana pili a me ke kumu kūʻai. ʻO nā leka a me nā mele nā koho maikaʻi loa, e like me nā mea leʻaleʻa ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻole hana kēia mau makana i ke kālā a i ʻole ke kino.
6. Pono nā mākua e makaʻala i ka nui o ka manawa a me ka ikaika i hoʻokomo ʻia i loko o ke aloha. Inā hoʻomaka kāu keiki e haʻalele i ke kula a me nā hana ʻē aʻe i leʻaleʻa ma mua, ʻoi aku ka ikaika. E kamaʻilio me lākou e pili ana i ka mālama ʻana i ke kaulike, a inā pono, e kau i nā palena.
7. ʻO ka hapa nui o nā romances mua ʻaʻole alakaʻi i ka male. Loaʻa pinepine ka haʻihaʻi a me ka ʻeha puʻuwai. E noho ma laila, e hoʻomau i ke kamaʻilio ʻana, a kōkua i kāu ʻōpio e ʻike ʻaʻole kēia ka hopena o ko lākou honua, akā he manawa kūpono ia e ulu ai a lilo i kanaka makua mālama. E hoʻolauleʻa i kēia pae o ko lākou ulu ʻana.
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