na Patricia Hughes
Hoʻomaopopo ka hapa nui o nā mākua he mea koʻikoʻi ko lākou mana no kā lākou mau keiki, ʻo ia ke kumu e hoʻolilo ai ka nui o nā mākua i ka manawa heluhelu a noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ka makua. ʻO ka hapa nui o nā noiʻi a me nā nūhou e pili ana i ke koʻikoʻi o kahi ʻohana paʻa no nā keiki, akā ua kālele nā haʻawina hou i ka hana a Pāpā i ke ola o kāna kaikamahine ʻōpio.
Ua paʻi ʻia kahi haʻawina i mālama ʻia ma ke Kulanui o Ilinoi ma Child Development journal. Ua nānā kēia haʻawina i ka pilina ma waena o ka moe kolohe a me ka pilina makua-keiki. Ua nīnauele nā kānaka noiʻi ma luna o 3200 mau ʻōpio a me ko lākou mau mākua. Pili nā nīnau i ka launa pū ʻana me nā mākua.
Ua nīnau ʻia nā mākua e pili ana i ko lākou ʻike i nā hoaaloha o kā lākou poʻe keiki a pehea lākou i hoʻohana ai i ko lākou manawa. Ua helu ʻia nā pane ma muli o ka nui o ka ʻike o nā mākua e pili ana i kā lākou mau ʻōpio a me nā hoaaloha. Ua hoʻohālikelike nā mea noiʻi i kēia helu me ka nui o ka hana moekolohe i nā ʻōpio.
ʻO ka mea a lākou i ʻike ai, ʻo ka poʻe ʻōpio me ka ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka pilina o nā mākua he haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa o ka hana moekolohe. ʻO ka pilina pili makua kāne a me ka hoihoi ʻana o Pāpā i ke ola o nā kaikamāhine, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ko lākou komo ʻana i ka moe kolohe. Ua helu ʻia kēlā me kēia helu ma ka pālākiō i ana i ka ʻike o kā lākou mau kaikamahine i unuhi ʻia i loko o ka liʻiliʻi he ʻekolu pākēneka ka emi ʻana o ka hana moekolohe. No laila, ʻoi aku ka nui o kou manawa e ʻike ai iā ʻoe i ke kaikamahine a me ka launa pū ʻana me ia, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o kona moe kolohe ʻana i kona mau makahiki ʻōpio.
ʻO ka kali ʻana i ka moekolohe he ʻāpana wale nō ia o ke kiʻi. Hāʻawi nui aku ʻo Pāpā i kāna kaikamahine liʻiliʻi. Aʻo nā kaikamāhine i nā mea koʻikoʻi i kā lākou launa ʻana i kēlā me kēia lā me ko lākou mau makua kāne. ʻO kahi haʻawina koʻikoʻi a lākou e aʻo ai ʻo ka mahalo iā ia iho. Ke hōʻike ʻo Pāpā i ka mahalo i kāna mau kaikamāhine a me kāna wahine, ke aʻo nei nā keiki i kahi haʻawina waiwai a aʻo i ka mahalo iā lākou iho.
Ua hōʻike ʻia ka nui o ka noiʻi ʻana e hoʻoikaika nā makua kāne i ke ʻano o nā kāne a kā lākou mau kaikamahine e koho ai i ka pilina. Ke maikaʻi a ikaika ka pilina makua kāne a me ke kaikamahine, hana nā kaikamahine i nā koho maikaʻi aʻe. E like me ke ʻano o ka hoʻomāinoino ʻana mai ka makuahine a i ke kaikamahine, hiki ke hoʻoili ʻia ke ʻano o ka pilina olakino i ka hanauna e hiki mai ana.
Me kēlā me kēia pilina, hōʻike ka makua kāne i kāna mau kaikamāhine i ka mea i'āponoʻia i ka pilina a me ka meaʻole. Ke makemake ka makua kāne i kona ola, nānā a aloha, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kāna kaikamahine e koho i kahi kāne nāna e mālama pono iā ia a kākoʻo.
Hiki i nā Pāpā ke hana
Aia kekahi mau mea hiki i ka makua kāne ke hana e hoʻonui i kēia mau hopena maikaʻi. ʻO ka mea nui e hana ai, ʻo ia ke noho kokoke i kāu ʻōpio. E ho'āʻo mau e launa pū me ia. Hiki iā ia ke hōʻalo iā ʻoe, a i ʻole e hoʻokuke aku iā ʻoe. He mea maʻamau kēlā. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻoluʻolu i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ua ʻoi aku ka hewa o kāna hana ʻana i kona makuahine.
ʻOiai ke kūʻē nui ʻana, makemake maoli nā ʻōpio i ko lākou mau mākua i ko lākou ola. E hoʻonohonoho i nā manaʻolana no ka manawa ʻohana a me ka hoʻolimalima manawa pū. He ala maikaʻi loa ke kaʻana ʻana i nā meaʻai. ʻO ka lawe ʻana i kāu kaikamahine i waho i ka ʻaina awakea he manawa kūpono ia e hoʻolohe ai iā ia a aʻo hou e pili ana i kona honua.
E kamaʻilio me ia e pili ana i ke aloha, ka pilina a me ka moekolohe, akā ma ke kamaʻilio mālie, ʻaʻole haʻi. Hoʻihoʻi koke ka poʻe ʻōpio ke manaʻo lākou e aʻo ana ko lākou mau mākua a hoʻolohe iā mākou, nā makuahine a me nā makuakāne. E lohi a kamaʻilio ākea a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e pili ana i ke aloha a me kou mau ʻike ponoʻī i kou wā ʻōpio. Makemake nā kaikamāhine i ka lohe ʻana i ke ʻano o ke kāne a ʻo ke kamaʻilio pū ʻana e kūkulu i ka hilinaʻi. ʻO kēia ka mea e hiki ai i kāu kaikamahine ke hele mai iā ʻoe no ka ʻōlelo aʻo i ka wā e hiki mai ana.
Inā pilikia ʻoe i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana e pili ana i ka moekolohe me kāu kaikamahine, ʻaʻole ʻoe wale nō. ʻAneʻane ʻoluʻolu ʻole nā mākua kāne a pau i kēia mau kamaʻilio ʻana. Nā pūnaewele e like me http://www.stayteen.org/ Hiki iā ia ke kōkua iā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo i kahi e hoʻomaka ai a hāʻawi iā ʻoe i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo maikaʻi no ke kūkākūkā ʻana e pili ana i ka wahine a me ka pale ʻana i ka hāpai ʻana o ka ʻōpio.
E kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā kumuhana ʻē aʻe i koʻikoʻi i kāu kaikamahine. E paipai iā ia e haʻi aku iā ʻoe e pili ana i kāna mau manaʻolana a me kāna mau moeʻuhane, a me kona mau pilikia. Ma kēia mau kamaʻilio ʻana, e aʻo ʻo ia e hoʻonohonoho i nā pahuhopu no kona wā e hiki mai ana a e hoʻoholo i nā hoʻoholo maikaʻi i kona ola i kēlā me kēia lā. Ke nānā pono nā keiki i ka wā e hiki mai ana, ʻaʻole lākou e hana hewa nui a komo i nā ʻano pilikia i kēia manawa.
E hoʻolohe i kāu kaikamahine a e makaʻala no nā hōʻailona hōʻailona ʻaʻole maikaʻi nā mea a pau. ʻO nā loli i ka ʻano, nā ʻano moe, nā pilina me nā hoaaloha a me ka ʻohana a me ka hana kula hiki ke maʻamau no nā ʻōpio, akā hiki ke hōʻailona pū i kāu kaikamahine i ka pilikia. ʻO ke komo koke ʻana, ma mua o ka hope, hiki ke hoʻololi i nā mea āpau.
Mai kuhi hewa i ka huikau ʻana me kāu kaikamahine me ka lilo ʻana i hoaaloha maikaʻi nona. ʻOiai he mea nui e noho kokoke, ke hilinaʻi nei ʻo ia iā ʻoe e hoʻokō i nā lula. E kamaʻilio e pili ana i ke kumu he mea nui kona hoʻonaʻauao a palekana a wehewehe i ke kumu he mea nui nā lula a me nā mea i manaʻo ʻia no kou ʻohana.
ʻO ka hoʻolimalima manawa me kāu kaikamahine a me ka hoihoi i kona ola e hoʻoikaika i kona hilinaʻi. ʻAʻole hiki i nā kaikamāhine me ka hilinaʻi kiʻekiʻe ke komo i ka moe kolohe a i ʻole nā hana ʻino ʻē aʻe. E ʻimi i nā hana āu e hauʻoli ai, a i ʻole e hoʻāʻo i kahi mea hou e hoihoi iā ia. ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoihoi like e kōkua i ke kūkulu ʻana i kāu pilina.
Kawaihae
He mea kākau kūʻokoʻa ʻo Patricia Hughes a he makuahine o ʻehā. Loaʻa iā Patricia kahi kēkelē laepua ma ke kula haʻahaʻa mai Florida Atlantic University. Ua kākau nui ʻo ia e pili ana i ka hāpai ʻana, ka hānau ʻana, ka hānai ʻana a me ka hānai ʻana. Eia kekahi, ua kākau ʻo ia e pili ana i ka hoʻonaninani home a me ka huakaʻi.
ʻAʻole hiki ke kope a paʻi hou ʻia kekahi ʻāpana o kēia ʻatikala ma kekahi ʻano me ka ʻae ʻole o More4Kids Inc © 2009
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