na Kauka Michele Borba
"No ke aha ʻoe i hoʻolohe ʻole ai?" “ʻO ka hā kēlā aʻu i haʻi aku ai iā ʻoe!” "ʻAʻole anei ʻoe i lohe i kekahi mea aʻu i ʻōlelo ai?"
Inā pilikia ʻoe i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hoʻolohe i kāu keiki, e hoʻoikaika: ʻaʻole ʻoe wale nō. Ua koho ʻo Parents magazine i nā makuahine a me nā makuakāne e pili ana i kā lākou hoʻopaʻi hoʻopaʻi koʻikoʻi, a ʻo ka lanakila lima lima ʻo "My ʻaʻole hoʻolohe ke keiki iaʻu.
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ke aʻo ʻana i ka hāʻawi ʻana i nā ʻōlelo a nā keiki e hoʻolohe ai, pono e hoʻomaʻamaʻa. Akā ʻo ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i ka mākaukau hoʻolohe o kāu keiki e pōmaikaʻi i kēlā me kēia kahua o kona ola-mai ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i kāna hana kula, ka pilina me nā hoaaloha, ka hana ʻoihana, a me ka lokahi ʻohana.
Eia kekahi mau hoʻonā i hoʻololi ʻia mai kaʻu puke hou, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Pane i kāu mau pilikia i kēlā me kēia lā a me nā hopohopo ʻāhiu e kōkua i ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i nā mākau hoʻolohe o kāu keiki:
• Nānā mua, a laila kamaʻilio. Inā ʻaʻole hoʻolohe kāu keiki, e nānā mua iā ia a e nānā pono ʻo ia iā ʻoe ma mua o kou ʻōlelo ʻana. "E ʻoluʻolu, e nānā mai iaʻu a e hoʻolohe i kaʻu ʻōlelo." E hāʻawi i kāu noi i ka wā e makaʻala ai ʻoe. Loaʻa iā ʻoe ka manaʻo piha o kāu keiki.
• E hoʻohaʻahaʻa i kou leo a ʻōlelo mālie. ʻAʻole pono ka ʻuā ʻana i nā keiki. ʻAʻohe mea e hoʻohuli wikiwiki i ke keiki ma mua o ka uē ʻana, pēlā nō ka mea ʻē aʻe: kamaʻilio mālie ʻaʻole leo nui. A i ʻole e hoʻāʻo e hāwanawana. He mea maʻamau ka hopu ʻana i ke keiki a kū ʻo ia e hoʻolohe.
• E mālama i ka pōkole, ka ʻono a me ke kiko. E hoʻohālikelike i kāu mau kuhikuhi i ka lōʻihi o ka nānā ʻana a me ka noʻonoʻo o kāu keiki. E hōʻoia ʻoe e haʻi pololei i kāu keiki i kāu mea e makemake ai e hana. "E ʻoluʻolu e hoʻomākaukau i kou wahi moe ma mua o kou hele ʻana i waho." A i ʻole: "Pono ʻoe e mākaukau e hele i ke kula i kēia manawa."
• E kaupalena i kāu mau ʻōlelo. He mea kōkua nō hoʻi ka kaupalena ʻana i kāu noi i nā huaʻōlelo liʻiliʻi. I kekahi manawa, ʻo ka ʻōlelo ʻana i hoʻokahi huaʻōlelo he hana maʻalahi: "Haʻawina home!" aiʻole “Nā hana!” E mālama pono ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻōlelo i kāu noi ma ke ʻano he nīnau a manaʻo paha. Inā makemake ʻoe e hoʻokō kāu keiki a laila e haʻi, mai nīnau.
• E hooikaika. Inā pono ka manawa a i ʻole makemake kāu keiki iā ʻoe e "lele e hoʻomaka" iā ia i ka hana, mai ʻōlelo i kekahi mea. E hopu mālie i kona lima a lawe iā ia i kahi āu e makemake ai e hele.
• Hāʻawi i kahi ala liʻiliʻi. E kali a ʻike ʻoe ua emi iki kāu keiki i ka hana. A laila e haʻi i kāu noi. E hōʻoia wale ʻaʻole pono kāu keiki i ke kūlana. (Kapau ʻoku fakahaaʻi ʻa ia ʻoku fakafofongaʻi ʻi ha ʻekitivitī, tuku ha fakangatangata: “ʻOku ou fie maʻu ho tokanga ʻi ha minute.”
• E ʻōlelo hoʻokahi! E hoʻohiki ʻaʻole ʻoe e hana hou iā ʻoe iho. Ke ʻōlelo ʻoe i kāu noi a maopopo ʻoe ua maopopo i kāu keiki (hiki iā ʻoe ke noi iā ia e haʻi hou i kāu mea i ʻōlelo ai), a laila e manaʻo i kāu keiki e hoʻolohe a hoʻokō i kēlā me kēia manawa.
Ua hoʻāʻo ʻoe i nā ʻenehana kamaʻilio maikaʻi a hoʻomaʻemaʻe i kāu hāʻawi ʻana i nā kuhikuhi. Ua noʻonoʻo ʻoe i ka makahiki a i ʻole ka lōʻihi o ka nānā ʻana o kāu keiki a noʻonoʻo ʻoe inā loaʻa iā ia kekahi ʻano nalo lohe. E noʻonoʻo ʻoe i kahi koho ʻē aʻe: Ke koho nei ke keiki e hoʻolohe ʻole iā ʻoe. He mea kēia no ka hoʻokō ʻole a i ʻole ka mahalo ʻole a he hana hoʻololi ʻokoʻa.
Kawaihae
Visit Dr. Michele at www.micheleborba.comMichele Borba, Ed.D. is an educational psychologist, TODAY contributor, mom, and award-winning author of 23 books. Her latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (Jossey-Bass). You can also learn more about Dr. Borba on her website: http://www.micheleborba.com or follow her on twitter @micheleborba.
ʻO Michele Borba, Ed.D. He kanaka hoʻonaʻauao hoʻonaʻauao, mea kōkua TODAY, makuahine, a me ka mea kākau lanakila o 23 mau puke. ʻO kāna puke hou loa, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (Jossey-Bass). Hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo hou e pili ana iā Kauka Borba ma kāna pūnaewele: http://www.micheleborba.com a i ʻole e hahai iā ia ma twitter @micheleborba.
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