While every child you raise will present challenges, there are new and unique challenges that come along when you are raising your youngest child. No matter how many children you have already been raising, you'll find that things are a bit different with your youngest. Often the youngest child is seen as a bit of a rebel, and these children need plenty of affirmation and attention because they are competing against the rest of their siblings.

Although you may not realize it, birth order definitely plays a big part in the expectations and personality of your child. If you take the time to learn more about the specific needs of each child, it gives you the ability to raise your child to be confident and well rounded, as they grow older. Here is a look at some of the common characteristics displayed by the youngest child and some specific parenting tips that can help you to best deal with the special needs of "the baby" in the family.

Characteristics of the Youngest Child

To parent your youngest child effectively, you first need to understand your youngest, how they think, and the traits they commonly display. In most cases, you will find that your youngest is a lot different from your older children. Usually the youngest child is funny and more socially outgoing than your other children are. They may act carefree, since they usually don't have many responsibilities. Often the youngest feels driven to compete or follow in the footsteps of their older siblings.

Youngest children are often outgoing, creative, and they are more likely to take risks. They get bored easily, they can be self-centered, and they like being pampered – after all, they are used to being pampered as "the baby." You'll also notice that they have a great senses of humor and can be quite competitive as well.

Effective Youngest Parenting Tips

Now that you have a better understanding of the youngest child characteristics, you have a better idea of how to parent them. When you understand what drives a child, you can find ways to work with those personality traits to raise them to be well-adjusted and responsible adults. Here are some specific tips that can help you parent your youngest child effectively as they grow up.

Parenting Tips

Tip #1 – Give Your Youngest Some Special Quality Time

One of the first tips to keep in mind when raising the youngest child is to give your youngest some special quality time. By the time you have the youngest child, you don't worry as much as a first time parent. You have more confidence as a parent, but this may appear to your youngest as lack of attention. Children definitely need some quality time with their parents. This is especially true for the youngest. Take some time to spend several moments each day with your youngest child. Ensure that you discuss any fears or concerns that they have. They need to know that you are there for them, even though you are busy with all of your children.

Tip #2 – Celebrate Their Accomplishments

Another important tip for parenting your youngest is to celebrate their accomplishments. It is easy for the last-born child to begin feeling invisible due to all the accomplishments that their brothers and sisters have. It is important that you specifically celebrate the accomplishments that your youngest child has. They need to find their own hobbies and skills that they excel at. They have their own traits and you need to nurture the interests they have so they develop in a positive way. Although you don't want to stop praising the accomplishments of your other children, be sure that you remember to praise your youngest and never compare them to the other children you have.

Tip #3 – Avoid Giving Too Many Hand-Me-Downs

One thing that the youngest child often deals with is hand-me-downs. This is definitely a wonderful way to reuse and recycle items, which is great for the environment. The problem is that if you give too many hand-me-downs to your youngest child, they do not get to enjoy the excitement of having something that is new. While you may need to pass some things down to your youngest due to financial constraints, avoid doing this too often. One option is to allow your child to choose items that they want from older siblings. Just make sure that your youngest does get some new things from time to time. They shouldn't miss this experience.

Tip #4 – Don't Let Discipline Slide

It's so important that you don't let discipline slide with your youngest child. This is one of the biggest downfalls that parents encounter. It is easy to be more lax with your youngest. Often the youngest likes to try to break the rules as well and may want to create a path of their own. This is not something you want to foster. Risky behavior can be destructive as they grow into adults. Once you begin to let discipline and rules slide with your youngest, it is difficult to stop this trend, leading to a child that is out of control. Set up rules with your youngest and stick to them. Every child is different and responds to different styles of discipline. Find what works, and stick to it. Although it's tough to stay strong with your youngest, it will pay off in the end.

Tip #5 – Teach Them to Be Responsible

Teaching your youngest to be responsible is also very important. Often you don't require as much from your youngest child. They may not have as many chores or rules, but this can be a problem. You do not want your child growing up feeling that they are not able to do anything on their own. Give them boundaries and responsibilities while they are young. Although they may not like responsibility, it will help them develop important skills that will help them become a responsible adult in the future.

When your youngest child comes along, you may feel that they are your last child to coddle and enjoy. Although you want to enjoy time with your youngest, you cannot forget to parent your child appropriately. While you adore your youngest, you still need to be firm with your child, requiring them to act responsibly. Learn about their unique personality, embrace the unique needs they have, and use these tips to raise an individual that is personable, responsible, and confident.

by Stephanie Partridge

Mom Really Listening to Her Teen Son

In my high school drama teacher's classroom, he had a large banner over the blackboard that said, "In order to be a good conversationalist you must first learn to listen."

It has stuck with me and I have tried to apply it in my own life.

But what I hear from kids so often is that they feel their parents don't listen to them – and they wish they would.

The art of listening, it seems, is dying a slow, agonizing death.

And it's our kids who are bearing the brunt of it all.

As we move into the new year, why not make listening one of your new year's parenting resolutions.  Resolve to bring the art of listening back to life.  Resolve to listen to your kids.  It is an endeavor well worth pursuing.

Listening, though, is not a natural skill.  Listening has to be learned.  It is not necessarily natural or instinctual.   But, it was Epiictetus, the Greek philosopher, who said, "God gave man two ears but only one mouth that he might hear twice as much as he speaks."

Our kids really need our two ears.  We really need to listen to them.

Try these tips for being a better listener:

Take Time

Listening takes time.  Set aside some time so that you won't be interrupted.  It is also important that your child knows that he or she is important enough for you to give them your time and undivided attention.

Sit

When it is possible, sit down to listen to your child.  This shows your child that you are committed to listening to them.  It also helps with your concentration.

Seek Privacy

Give yourself and our child privacy.  Close the door, turn off the television, turn off your phone.   Your child deserves your undivided attention and privacy.

Relax

Let your body language show that you are relaxed and ready to listen.   You want to give your child a comfortable, safe place to talk – and show that you are listening.  Don't cross your arms or twist your legs in a defensive posture.  Instead, be open, relaxed and loose.

Listen with an Open Heart and an Open Mind

Open both your heart and your mind to your child.  They may (and probably will) say things that you don't really want to hear, or that make you uncomfortable.  The things that they say may go against your own beliefs and even values, but your child deserves to be heard and recognized as an individual.  But don't pass judgment on them.  When they are telling you their innermost feelings, that is the time that you should just listen.

Concentrate

When you and your child sit down to talk, concentrate totally on what your child is saying.  Don't think about what you are going to say, just listen to what is being said to you.

Show that you are Listening

Face your child and actually look at him or her.  Make eye contact, nod your head slightly and even verbally respond from time to time.  Just make sure that you show your child that you are actually listening.

Be Verbal

This does not mean that you should talk at length, but instead say things like, "I see," "yes," "I understand."  You can even just nod and say, "mmmhmm" and "ah."  The important thing is to show your child that you are actively engaged in listening to them.

Don't Interrupt!

No matter how your child is presenting something to you or how much they seem to stumble over the words, suppress the urge to interrupt them.  You have to give them space and allow them to say things their own way in their own words at their own pace.  A good practice is that when you feel the need to interrupt, nod your head instead.  Now is not your time, it is your child's time.  Just listen.

Allow Silences

Most people get very uncomfortable with silences, but you can't try to fill them in when you are talking to your child.  For one thing, by just waiting through the silence, you allow your child to continue with their train of thought.  For another, people tend to be more revealing, more forthcoming, when they are allowed to work through the silence, composing their thoughts and knowing that you are listening.

Reflect

When your child says something and you want to ensure that you have fully understood what they are trying to say, reflect it back to them.  You can say, "So, what you are saying is…"  This way, you can get clarification and you know exactly what your child is talking about.  Plus, they know that you are not only listening, but also seeking to understand.

Make Time – Sooner Rather than Later

Let your child know that they are important to you by making the time to talk to them.  Don't put them off for any longer than you absolutely have to.  In fact, do your best to rearrange your schedule , making your child a priority.  That project at work will be there, the hair appointment can be rescheduled and that game of golf can be played any day, but one day you will look around and your child will be grown and gone.  You will have missed your chance.   This time right now is precious.  Make being with your child and listening to them a priority.

Love, Love, Love

Listen to your child with not just your ears, but with your heart and mind as well – and always, always listen with love.    Don't judge, don't criticize, don't berate.  Just listen and just love them.

Close Your Mouth

There will be a time for you to talk, but that time is not right now.  Right now, it is time for you to close your mouth and listen.

Your world is busy and stressful.  Many days you feel as if you are pulled in a myriad of different directions.  Believe me, I know.  I am a single mom and I have to be both mom and dad to my kids.  Somedays  the last thing I want to hear is another human voice.  But it is my job to be there for my kids so I stop being selfish and turn my attention to them.  I listen to their day, to their dreams, the funny stories that they tell me, their problems, their fears and their stresses.

And you know what?  I learn a lot about them.

Biography
Stephanie Partridge: I am a mom, not just to my three terrific teenagers, but to the entire neighborhood! On any given weekend we may have as many as 9 or more kids (not including my three) staying over at our house – and they all call me Mom. I am also blessed with a wonderful husband who married us all and moved into the dad role with an ease that is awe inspiring. We live in Baton Rouge, Louisiana with our three pit bulls, Chihuahua (who rules the house) and two cats. I am currently pursuing a psychology degree so that I can counsel young people and incorporate therapy dogs into my practice.

I believe that parenting is more than just raising kids, it is about raising adults who are productive critical thinkers. I believe in asking questions about Life's hard questions and finding the answers together. The world is a much different place than when I was growing up. It is harder, rougher and presents many more challenges for young people and it is up to us to help these kids find their way without giving them all the answers – let them discover them on their own. When I was pregnant with my first child I was standing in line at the post office. The man in front of me suddenly turned and asked me, "How can you in good conscience bring a child into this messed up world." I looked at him and answered, "If we don't bring children into this messed up world, then who is going to straighten the mess out?"

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