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by Stacey Schifferdecker
It's Not Fair!
With Thanksgiving approaching, I am struck by thoughts of fairness and gratitude. I never really thought of these two concepts being related, but we are currently in a phase of "That's not fair!" at my house. W, the middle school boy, says it isn't fair that his friend B has a cell phone and he doesn't. J, the elementary school girl, says it isn't fair that W gets to eat pizza at the church youth group meeting and that everyone has a later bed time than she does. And K doesn't think it's fair that he has so darn many math problems to do every night.
So why does all this whining make me think of gratitude? I sure don't feel grateful for the kids' bad attitudes! Unfortunately, many times a cry of "It's not fair!" is a symptom of an ungrateful heart. W, for example, should be grateful that he gets picked up from school instead of walking home like B does. J at least has food to eat and a warm, safe bed to sleep in. And K has a nice graphing calculator to speed up his Algebra II homework.
All of this reminds me of the Bible parable that my Sunday school class seems to have a hard time grasping. As Jesus told the story, a man sent workers into the vineyard in the morning, after agreeing to pay them a denarius for their day's work. A few hours later, he sent more workers to join them, and a few hours later even more workers. The end of the day came and all the workers received the same payment, whether they had worked one hour or the whole day. The workers who had been there all day protested with the classic cry of "It's not fair!" And the response of the master? "But he answered one of them, 'Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?' So the last will be first, and the first will be last." (Matthew 20:13-16). READ More on Its Not Fair! - Thanksgiving Thoughts on Fairness and Gratitude
Little Girl Pretending She is a Fairy Princess
by Jennifer Shakeel
When you were little didn't you have an imaginary friend, or maybe your bedroom was a huge fortress where your bed was the castle surrounded by a moat and you battled the evil king from another castle… or maybe saved a princess… or maybe you were the princess. The point is that you played and you would use your imagination. Today, not as many children play as much or use their imagination as much as when we were kids… and that may cripple them in the long run.
I know that I am not the only parent that has said to their kids that "When I was little we didn't have cable… or the internet or Play Stations. We were thrown outside when we woke up and weren't allowed back in until dinner." I have said that very thing… more than once… and it is 100% true. We were expected to play, and play meant outside. When you played you were suppose to use your imagination because toys 30 and 40 years ago were nowhere near as animated as they are today. You had to make Barbie talk, and if Barbie had a baby chances are pretty good that you used a tiny little doll or a Play School toy to be the baby. GI Joe's didn't talk, they were tiny little figures, which again is different than when my dad was little and the GI Joe doll was as big (size wise) as Barbie. But to play you had to make it up. READ More on The Essentialness of Play and Make Believe
Filed under Activities, Parenting, Playtime by More4kids
Interview by Jennifer Shakeel
Parenting Tips for a happier healthier family
This week I had the absolute fortune of interviewing Dr. Sylvia Rimm. I am sure that many of you have heard of Dr. Rimm. She had a regular segment on the Today Show for nine years. She is also a best-selling author of books such as "See Jane Win," "How Jane Won," "Rescuing the Emotional Lives of Overweight Children," and "How to Parent So Children Will Learn" to name a few. Dr. Rimm is also a clinical professor at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine and she is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, OH. I was very grateful that she was able to give me an interview.
Dr. Rimm has done extensive research on children that are gifted, children that are underachievers and overweight children and is considered among the top elite when it comes to many different parenting issues, families and issues that trouble tweens and teens. As you can imagine along with be grateful for her time I was overwhelmed with questions I wanted to ask. If you visit her website you will have access to more information then I could cover here, as well as you have the opportunity send Dr. Rimm your question about parenting and have her answer it.
For our talk what she and focused on were really ground rules for parenting. The reason is because in her research she has found there are certain things that parents of happy, successful and achieving children do to help make sure that their children excel, that other parents aren't doing when it comes to parenting their children. After talking with Dr. Rimm, I was relieved to know that my husband and I were doing most of them… and that I found out the areas we need to tweak alittle to get better results.
The first "pillar" we will call it has to do with the words you use. The words that you use with your child to discuss that child, as well as the words you use about that child to other people are what helps to mold that child. Your words are actually the building blocks to the identity you child has. Dr. Rimm says that it is important that we are using positive words when we are talking to our children or when we are talking about them. READ More on Parenting Advice from the Best
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
by Patricia Hughes
Teen Spending the Afternoon with her Dad
Most parents understand that their influence is important for their children, which is why so many parents spend time reading and thinking about parenting. Most of the research and news focuses on the importance of a stable family for children, but new studies have focused on the role Dad plays in his teenage daughter's life.
A study conducted at the University of Illinois was published in Child Development journal. This study looked at the correlation between sexual activity and parent-child relationships. Researchers interviewed over 3200 teens and their parents. The questions centered on interaction with parents.
Parents were asked questions regarding their knowledge of their kids' friends and how they spent their time. The answers were scored based on how much the parents knew about their teens and friends. Researchers compared this score with the rate of sexual activity in the teens. READ More on Importance of Dad for Teen Girls
by Stephanie Partridge
Great Family Experience: Hiking and Climbing together
For my son's 18th birthday, one of the presents I gave him was tickets to a concert featuring several of his favorite artists. For my daughter's 13th birthday, one of her presents was a local dog parade and Louisiana State University Veterinarian School open house. There have been many times that I have given my kids "experience gifts" instead of the traditional present. These gifts are more than new clothing or a new CD, they are creating memories. Kids can take photos or buy souvenirs to remember the event or experience, but the main present is the experience such as a concert or special show. Try one of these experience gifts for your child's next birthday or special occasion.
1. Concerts
Older kids love concerts. Before you choose a concert and purchase tickets, though, check out the band and fond out about as much of the show as possible to make sure that is appropriate for your child. For younger teens, you can go with them to the show. Older teens can usually do OK attending independently with a couple of friends. If you want to give them something to remember the event, purchase a souvenir t-shirt or some other item that they can keep and be reminded of their special day.
2. Play
A stage play is an excellent gift for the thespian in your family. If you are in an area that has local playhouses, you can easily find plays there just about any time. If plays tour to your city, you can find a good one that will be near you and take your child. Keep a program from the event and the ticket stub if you can. That way, they can have a keepsake from the event. The key with experience gifts is to get a keepsake to commemorate the event.
3. Touring Show
A touring show such as The Wiggles, Icecapades or a wrestling event can also be a great experience gift. Watch your newspapers and sign up for sites like Eventful and Ticketmaster to keep up with what shows are coming to your area. READ More on Giving More Experiences Instead of Toys
Diversity Makes the World Go Around
Even in the 21st century, kids grow up with a lot of prejudice and misinformation about other cultures and races around the world. Often these prejudices come out in their relationships with people at school, and even in relationships that they have later in life. For this reason, it's very important that as parents we work to raise globally aware kids.
The world is a much smaller place than ever before, and teaching kids to be globally aware is an important part of their education. While many parents think they can't expose their children to the world because of travel costs, raising kids that are globally aware doesn't have to be expensive. In fact, there are many things you can do that don't require traveling abroad or even spending a lot of money. If you are concerned about raising your children to be globally aware, here are some easy parenting tips that can help you achieve this.
Tip #1 - Purchase a Nice Globe
One great thing you can do to work on raising globally aware kids is to simply purchase a nice globe for your home. Of course, make sure that it is up to date, so you can use it for a reference in your home. A globe isn't that expensive, so for a few bucks you can make your kids more globally aware.
Tip #2 - Sample Cuisine from Other Countries
Perhaps the best way to get to know a culture is to start out by sampling their food. You may want to take a night a week, or even just one night a month to sample cuisine from other countries. Often you can purchase takeout with different culture flavors, but you may have more fun if you prepare the dishes on your own. Perhaps get some recipes, buy the ingredients, and then get the kids involved. You'll all enjoy cooking these interesting dishes together, and once they are done, you can sample them and have a great time together as a family enjoying the tastes of various cultures.
Tip #3 - Consider Learning a Language as a Family
Learning a language on your own or at school can be hard. However, consider learning a language as a family if you want to increase global awareness for your kids. You could take classes locally or get a good home program. Many kids find a new language exciting, but don't make it feel like work or like school to them. Make it fun and enjoy speaking to each other with the new phrases that you learn. READ More on Parenting Tips for Raising Globally Aware Kids
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
by Dr. Michele Borba
Do you feel as though your child is tuning you out?
"Why don't you listen?" "That's the fourth time I told you!" "Didn't you hear anything I just said?"
If you're frustrated in trying to get your kid to listen, take heart: you're not alone. Parents magazine polled moms and dads about their toughest discipline challenge, and the hands-down winner was "My kid doesn't listen to me."
The fact is, learning to give directions so kids will listen takes practice. But improving your kid's listening skills will benefit every arena of his life-from improving his school performance, relations with friends, job performance, as well as family harmony.
Here are a few solutions adapted from my new book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries to help improve your child's listening skills:
• Attention first, then talk. If your kid is not listening, first get her attention and make sure she's looking at you before you speak. "Please, look at me and listen to what I have to say." Give your request when you're eyeball to eyeball. You're more likely to have your child's full attention. READ More on Parenting Solutions That Get Kids to Listen
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
Letting Them Do It on Their Own
by Jennifer Shakeel
Important to teach children the joy of solving their own problems
One of the biggest struggles we as parents have is not trying to figure out how to be the best mom or dad in the world, because we are all wonderful parents in our own rights… but it is to encourage our children to be self sufficient. When we see or hear our child is having a difficult time with something we immediately want to reach in and take care of it for them just so they are happy. What we don't realize is that in the long wrong, we really aren't helping them at all.
I know as a mom that every time one of my kids is having difficulty trying to figure something out, or just had a disagreement with one of their friends and they are sad… or mad… I want to be supermom and make all wonderful and easy in their life. However, I also know that as a mom the best thing I can do is help them figure the situation out on their own. Part of it is growing up in the school of hard knocks I guess. My father was real big on making us do things on our own. I will never forget the time I climbed a tree. I was so excited, he stood there while I was climbing to make sure I didn't fall… but when I said that I needed help getting down, he looked at me and said "You got up there on your own, now get down on your own."He turned and walked away going into my grandmother's kitchen. I swear I sat there and cried forever… then I got real mad… and eventually got out of the tree on my own.
READ More on Parenting and Helping Our Kids be Self-Sufficient
Anything Worth Having is Worth Waiting For
by Jennifer Shakeel
Boy learning the virtues of patience
One of the greatest virtues that we as parents can teach our children is patience. I know that in our hectic lives where we are often surrounded by the chaos of work, being mom and dad, driving to practices and games as well as trying to be a husband or a wife to our spouse… patience if often far from our mind. We have all been irritated at the time it took to get through a drive thru for a sweet tea, but we as adults also understand the importance of being patient.
The best things in life are the things that we had to wait to get. For example, each one of my children and my husband, all four of them I had to wait for… and I now I don't know what I would do without them. You tend to not take for granted things that took patience to get. This is an appreciation that is missing from many youths of today. I hate to say… but the people that are at fault for this… the parents.
I understand the reason, for many if they just give in to what their child wants when they want it… it is one less headache they have to deal with. But as that child gets older, the demands are going to be greater… and honestly they are going to end up being very frustrated as adults when things don't go their way. While it is far easier to start when they are young to teach them patience… it is never too late to start.
This begs that question, how do we teach our children to be patient? Here are a number of tips that you can try, these are tips that I have used and they worked on two of three children. The third one is only 8 ½ months old, so she is still a work in progress. READ More on Parenting Tips of the Week: A Lesson in Patience
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
