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by Jennifer Shakeel
I write this and laugh. I am a mom that has been there done that… and did I mention I am doing it again. I have a 15 year old, a 12 year old and a 15 month old. Still to this day I have separation anxiety with my oldest! I guess I just don’t like being away from my children… especially for extended periods of time. I miss them. Of course I am not here to talk about parental separation anxiety… though I wonder why no one does that. Here we are going to talk about separation anxiety from the child’s stand point and how you can make it easier.
Separation anxiety is when a child has anxiety from being separated from the caregiver, which is usually the mother. This is a very stressful stage for both parent and child as the parent feels guilty, and the child is scared and experiences anxiety.
From the time a child reaches eight months to the time they are about fourteen months, they get nervous and even frightened when they see new people or are in new places. They see their parents as familiar and safe. When they get separated from their parents, they feel threatened and unsafe. This is a normal stage of development and usually ends when the child is two years old.
How Do Children Get Over Separation Anxiety?
READ More on Parenting a Child Through Separation Anxiety
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Here are some tips to save on School Supplies from More4kids:
Follow these tips to keep more of your money in your wallet as your kids head back to school:School Supplies: Stock up during the sales
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by Jennifer Shakeel
Recently I was speaking with a family friend, whose daughter is one of the cheerleaders for my son’s football team. Her daughter is having a rough time with another little girl on the team who seems determined to make my friend’s daughters life miserable. There has yet to be one game all season long that she has not left the game crying. The little girl picks on her at school as well. I have been trying to offer ideas to my friend to help her daughter. I have even talked to her daughter.
It isn’t that her daughter is weak, or a push over… she is just a nice person. Her parents have done an excellent job on raising her and teaching her that it is better to take the high road. That just because someone is being nasty to you does not mean that you need to be nasty back to them. I completely agree with this, we have done the same with our children. Though we have also tried to instill upon them that taking the high road does not mean that you become someone’s doormat. Today I am offering several parenting tips on how you can help your child stand up for themselves.
Parenting Tip One: Return an Insult with a Compliment
Granted this is going to depend on the situation. In the case of my friend’s daughter it is just a taunting little girl and they are 11 years old. It is important to realize that the bully in this case gets satisfaction over making the “victim” feel terrible. They want to see the person they are tormenting upset, for them it is a matter of putting that person in their place which is beneath the bully. To which I advised that she look at this other little girl when she is being mean and say, “You’re the best xxxx,” with a smile and turn and walk away. Don’t give the tormentor the satisfaction of making you feel like crap, let them know that what they are saying doesn’t bother you.
Parenting Tip Two: Call the Bully Out
Sometimes taking the high road is not about not succumbing to being nasty, it is about calling the bully out for what they are doing. For the daughter of our friend, I advised that she look at her “team mate” and say, “I thought we were a team. Teammates support each other. We don’t have to like each other, but we do need to support one another.” Many times, especially with younger kids, the fact that the bully has never been called on the carpet for their behavior encourages the behavior. So when one person stands up to them and points out what they are doing is wrong it will stop the bullying.READ More on Bullying: Encouraging Children to Stand Up For Themselves
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We all want the best for our families, and many feel that living green is the way to achieve that goal. We want to save the environment for ourselves and our families and neighbors and friends. The marketplace has introduced lots of green products to extract the green from our wallets. The real goal of going green is to buy less and use less. That is a recession friendly goal, because when you achieve it, you will be spending less.
What are some “green” things that we can do as Parents? Conserve energy in your home and in the rest of your life. Use healthier cleaners, and reusable tools.
Do not just turn your car ignition off when you pick up the kids at school, walk to meet them and walk home with them. This is compatible with the fact that we need to use less gasoline and also that we need to get more exercise. This is setting the tone for a healthy green lifestyle for your kids as well. You get to share the wonders of the walk home, and talk with your kids and hear about their day and marvel at the world around you.
Shopping Green
Shop your local thrift shops or yard sales for children’s clothing, especially. Buy things that are gently used, with a lot of life left in them. Most thrift shops benefit a charity, so you are setting an example of giving back and not wasting things that still have life in them. Buy sweaters, jackets and clothes that are easy to layer, because at home, you are turning down the heat.READ More on Green Parenting: Make It A Family Affair
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If you have teens, probably one of the heavy things on your mind is whether they are going to make the right choices. Today's teens deal with more choices than teens in the past. There are many issues that teens face, and that can feel scary as a parent. How can you make sure they are going to make the right decisions in life? Well, first you need to realize that even if you give them the best upbringing possible, teens don't always make decisions that are right. After all, even adults don't always make the right decisions. There are things parents can do to help teens make good decisions. They might still make the wrong decision every once in awhile, but with these parenting tips, you can really help to influence your teen in the right way.
Parenting Tip #1 – Keep Talking to Your Teen
One important tip to help your teen make good decisions is to keep talking to your teen. Often teens begin to go silent on you, but keep on talking anyway. Even if they act like they're ignoring you and they don't talk back, keep on talking to them. More than you think is getting through to them when you're talking, so keep it up.
Parenting Tip #2 – Show Them By Your Example
Show your teens how to make good decisions by example. You cannot expect that your teen is going to behave better than you do. Make good decisions in your own life. If you mess up, own up to it and show your teen that mistakes happen but you can learn from the mistakes and go on. Remember, your teen is watching you, and what you do is going to be at least as important, if not more so, than what you say to them.
Parenting Tip #3 – Share Examples From Your Life
Another great idea to help your teen make good decisions is to share examples from your own life. Of course, you need to be careful about this. You don't want to encourage them to make bad decisions either. Some situations though can be used as examples and you can let your teen know what kind of consequences occur when you make choices that aren't the right ones. Allow them to learn from your own mistakes so they will make the right decisions in life.READ More on Parenting Teens: Helping Your Teenager Make Good Decisions
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by Stephanie Partridge
"Does Your Teen feel they are Good Enough?"
I have been talking to some teens, or actually, I have been listening to some teens. I wanted to know what was on their minds, what was bothering them, what was impeding their relationships with their parents.
I tried asking my own kids, but they were no help. They both said, “Mom, I can’t complain. You listen to us; you respect us, when we tell you something you really hear us. You trust us, you show us you love us, you are our best friend. We have no complaints at all!”
Well, that was a big help.
So, I began talking to friends of my kids. Many of them have said that they wish they could live at my house, wish I could adopt them. I laughed at the time, but I am not laughing now. The raw pain I have witnessed as these teenagers have poured their hearts out to me is no laughing matter. These kids come from all walks of life, all economic stations. Both boys and girls, these kids have complaints that are universal – can potentially tragic.
One of the big issues that they talk about is never being good enough. No matter what they do it is never quite good enough.
One 16 year old girl I know well told me how she will spend half of the day cleaning the house while her mother is at work. She will wash dishes, sweep, mop, clean counters, and scrub everything till it shines (I know, I have seen her work), only to have her mom come home and say, “Where’s dinner?”
All the hard work this girl has done is ignored.READ More on Parenting and Your Teens Self-Esteem
We all want to be happy, and we want our kids to be happy as well. That is only natural and there are some concrete steps to take to raise happy children.
Raising Happy Children:
1) In order to raise a happy child we need to model what we want our children to be. Present a model of a positive respectful adult, treating your partner, teachers, and community leaders in a positive way. Do not make fun of your partner, he or she is a huge part of how a child sees themselves. Even if you do not always agree with what a teacher or school employee does, disagree in a healthy manner. These adults are the anchors in your children’s’ lives. If you treat them well, your child will as well. He will feel good about himself and these people in his life will reflect his attitude back to him.
2) Your children need to feel confident about the future. Be positive about your job, and do not walk in the front door complaining about the economy and your co workers and boss. Let your kids know that you will have a way to support yourself and them. If you are economizing, remind them that it is a choice to live responsibly, paying the bills before having entertainment. When you need a new job, go ahead and look, but do not make it your child’s problem. Work if you have the opportunity, and value your job, so that you will raise a worker.
3) Praise your children, but not excessively or extremely. Use specific words of praise. Instead of looking at their picture and saying “What an excellent picture. I love it. You are the best” a better comment would be: “I like your picture, tell me about it. I can see it means a lot to you and that you have talent. I like the red bow you put on the dog.” The phrase “Tell me about it” lets them know that you want to hear what is important to them.READ More on Parenting: 7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child
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February is Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Month. I will be posting several related articles here with information on empowering our daughters, teaching our sons and making sure that our kids are safe (boys get abused too).
The statistics are alarming. It is estimated that an incredible one out of every three teens experiences abuse, often at the hands of a date or “intimate.” Worse, two out of three teens will never report the abuse. As parents, it is our job to ensure our children’s safety, but what do we do when we can’t be with them? The best thing that we can do for our kids is educate them. If we teach them how to protect themselves and how to not only act in a dangerous situation but also how to detect one, we are well on our way to reducing our child’s risk of enduring dating violence.
I have a teenage daughter and I admit, I worry about her. She is the sweetest, kindest child I have ever seen. She is also incredibly innocent. It would be easy for some guy to take advantage of her.
I have endured domestic violence. I am a survivor. She knows this and I do believe that she is stronger because of it. But there are so many kids out there who are enduring teen dating violence and they feel like they have nowhere to turn.READ More on Teen Dating Violence Prevention Month
by Stephanie Partridge
Parenting is the greatest job anyone can have, but the teen years have a way of sneaking up on you. One day your child is the cute, dimpled, roly poly baby and the next he is the tall, handsome young man asking for the car keys. My daughter turned 18 the other day and my baby is not far behind her. This got me thinking…My life has changed SO MUCH since I had kids. So, here’s my list. These are 25 telltale clues that you are living with a teenager.
- There is a room in your house that looks like a disaster zone, but you can barely make out what appears to be a bed and, wait! Is that foot sticking out of the rubble?
- Your teen gets dressed to “go out” and you ask if they are going to a costume party.
- You have the Urban Dictionary bookmarked.
- It is 2 o’clock on a Saturday afternoon and you’re still the only one awake.
- You can’t remember the last time you saw your house phone, much less found it free so you could use it.
- You not only know what “emo,” “metalcore,” “poser” and “screamo” mean, you can use those words in a sentence AND you can give real life examples.
- There is a strange noise eminating from your child’s living quarters, a strange, rhythmic growling and odd vibrations. Upon inquiry, you are informed that this is “music.”READ More on Parenting a Teenager: 25 Telltale Clues You Are Living With A Teen
