Will You Survive the Terrible Twos?

Will You Survive the Terrible Twos?

by Michele Borba, Ed.D.

Temper Tantrums are sure to be in the top of parents' list of "obnoxious, embarrassing kid behaviors."  These are really Oscar-winning performances at their best: ear-piercing screaming, thrashing, and out-of-control behavior. And when your kid uses his routine at school, ballpark or supermarket, it's just plain humiliating. You should expect your one to three-year-old to try this behavior on you. And it's equally as common in girls as in boys. Older kids can also resort back to the "tantrum stage" especially if there's been a recent stress or change in their lives. (We can all name an adult or two who's yelled, slammed doors and broken something. Right?) But whether your kid continues using outbursts to get his way depends on how you react the first times she tries it. After all, a tantrum is a really a device kids use to get what they want because they've learned it works. Once they learn that it succeeds–translation: they get their way-they're likely to try it again (and again and again). There goes any semblance of "Home Sweet Home." The truth is there are no redeeming features to this behavior. Tantrums only cause stares and headaches, and teaches kids a bad lesson: "Throw yourself on the floor. Scream and yell. Thrash about and you'll get your way." are the steps taming those outbursts my latest book from The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries,

Parenting Solutions to help Tame Temper Tantrums

BEFORE the Tantrum
Your best defense is to anticipate a tantrum's onset before your child is in full meltdown mode.

  • Recognize your child's natural temperament. Some kids are just more intense and have a tougher time calming down and handling frustrations. If so, give advance warning for an upcoming event; allow transition time from one activity to another; follow an active activity with a calmer one; don't skip the naps. Avoid situations that might cause temper flare-ups.
  • Recognize your kid's tantrum signs. Each child has unique stress or "I'm about to loose-it" signs (clenched fists, a certain whimper or whine, waving hands). Once you can identify your child's "tantrum is approaching signs" you're in the best place to defuse it or ward it off.
  • Check your expectations. Asking your child to sit too long in a fancy restaurant, shopping cart, or car seat is just asking for trouble. Make sure your expectations for your child are in line with their capabilities.READ More on Temper Tantrums – Will You Survive the Terrible Twos?

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mother and her son fightingHow many times have you heard the saying that “Fighting is a natural part of life,” or “A good fight now and again is good for the relationship and keeps things alive”? But really, is that how you feel? Do you truly believe that fighting with the family, with your spouse, and especially your children, is good for you all?

Having fights within the family is definitely not a fun and pleasant experience. Each fight, regardless how small, will leave you drained of energy and feeling negative afterwards. Not only will you feel bad for the things you said and did during the fight, but your children will walk away feeling rejected, lost, unloved.

And do you wonder who suffers the most when fights occur in the family? Your children. You know that it is the kids that suffer the most when you have had nasty explosive fights. And you also know that a great deal of ugliness comes out that you would rather not have exposed to them on a regular basis. READ More on Taking A Vow To End Fighting With Your Kids

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Troubled Teen in a bad relationship not knowing what to doby Stephanie Partridge

No parent wants to see their teen hurt, abused or manipulated. It our basest instincts to step in and protect our children from harm. However, we can not protect our children from every single hurt and there will be times when you simply aren't around to shield your child. The best thing that you can do is actually a two prong approach. The first prong is keeping an open, honest and close relationship with your child. Let them know that they can talk to you about anything. The second prong is teaching your child how to handle harmful situations, instilling the confidence to recognize when they are being mistreated and the strength to walk away.

Destructive relationships come in many different shapes and sizes. Sometimes the destructive element is very apparent, other times it can barely be detected. The faces of the destructive relationship can be equally obscure. The polite, soft spoken, church going young man dating your daughter could be an abusive, angry tyrant behind closed doors. The sweet, pretty cheerleader that your son is dating may be horrible critical and verbally abusive when no one is around to hear.READ More on Helping your Teen Escape Abusive or Destructive Relationships

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Here is the video that Jeff Yalden, a teen motivational coach recently shared with me on the importance of spending time with your kids, even if it's just a few minutes:  

Additional thoughts from Kevin at More4kids: As parents we can easily get wrapped up with work, life, seemingly impossible deadlines, and other obligations. To make matters worse, some parents have to travel for work which causes even less time to be spent with their kids. In this economy sometimes what we do just to keep the house over our families heads and food on the table also causes us to spend less and less time with our kids. However, now matter how pressed we are, we MUST find time for our kids, and it does not have to be a lot of time to make a difference. It may be a phone call to the family during the day to check up on everyone, or a good night call when traveling.

These small moments can be a defining moment in your child's life. It tells them you care and think about them all the time. The last thing we want our kids to do is think that we don't love them. That will affect them the rest of our lives. The most important thing, no matter how busy and crazy things are is our lives, is to keep the connection with our kids, and let them know you will be there when they need you, no matter what.

Jeff Yalden is a teen life coach, a youth motivational speaker. He is a very busy person, parent, uncle, that really 'gets it'. In the video below he shares his philosophy that family comes first and that no matter how busy you are you need to be there and find time for your kids. You can view more great motivational videos by Jeff at his website:  http://www.jeffyalden.com/youth-motivational-speaker/

"What moment in your child's live will be their defining moment? No matter what, keep the connection!" – kevin

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An very beautiful rainbow forms after a rain shower

The rainstorm had just ended and the boy and his father went out for a walk in the cool spring air. They both liked taking a walk together after a rainstorm. It was always so quiet and peaceful.

As they walked the boy suddenly turned to his father and asked, "Why do some people have different color skin?"

The father was slightly taken aback. It was such an abrupt question. What should he tell his son? He thought for a minute, and suddenly he paused…. He saw something in the distance.

He knelt on one knee and pointed to a rainbow forming. The father decided instead to ask his son a question. "What if a rainbow only had one color?"

The little boy looked at the rainbow. At first he looked confused and said "I would be very sad if a rainbow only had one color".

Then the boys dad saw a smile on his sons face and a twinkle in his eyes. The boy blurted out excitedly, "God must be very smart to make the world so beautiful".

The father then felt a lump in the back of his throat and a tear of pride on his left cheek. His 7 year old son had just grasped what so many people fail to grasp.

He turned to his son, rubbed him gently on his back, kissed his sons forehead and simply said "Yes He is smart".

As the father stood up his child gently slipped his hand into his father's hand.

Together they walked towards the rainbow.

"We are God's Rainbow,
Where there is Diversity there is Beauty"

Where there is diversity there is beauty

Kevin Heath – More4kids Inc.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © All Rights Reserved

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How many of us are famliar with the cartoon show "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"? It is a lovable show that shows what happens to our childrens imaginary friends after they have grown out of them. For many kids, imaginary friends are a part of growing up. My sons imaginary friend is Chocolate the Dinosaur. My Sons Imaginary FriendAre you concerned that this may be unhealthy? I was at first. Many parents tend to worry a bit about their child when one day they come to us and talk about their “imaginary friend”.

This is very common in all children and tends to happen between the ages of three and five. Unfortunately, many parents do not understand why their child is creating somebody imaginary and they end up feeling frustrated at their child, or feel they have bad parenting skills. Usually this is not the case and can be very healthy, a sign of a good imagination and help you as a parent understand what your child is feeling.  READ More on Does Your Child Have An Imaginary Friend?

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by Stacey Schifferdecker

Young Boy GrievingI distinctly remember the first funeral I ever went to. I ought to, since I was 36 years old at the time. It's not that no one in my family had died before then – it's just that my extended family didn't have funerals. When my grandmother died, we did travel back from Kansas to Illinois, but there was no service of any kind. In fact, the only family get-together was a BBQ at my uncle's house. I enjoyed playing with my cousins, but no one talked about Grandma. It was as if she had never existed.

My children are taking a different, and I hope healthier, path. When their grandfather died, they all went to the funeral. They knew their grandpa, who had Alzheimer's had been sick and they had visited him many times in the nursing home. At the funeral, they cried a little and laughed a little. They looked at pictures of their grandpa and listened to people talk about how wonderful he had been. They enjoyed seeing their cousins too, but they also got to say goodbye to a man who was an important part of their lives.READ More on Explaining Death to Children

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