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It's always important to convince your child that they can succeed. Children often have a lot of self-doubts, due to the many challenges of childhood, such as peer pressure and competitiveness at school. As a result, as a parent we should try to find ways to not only encourage our children, but actually inspire them to find ways to reach their own personal best.
At the core of a child's ability to do their best is their sense of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem. While it's important to have a certain amount of discipline in the household, we should take care to approach this more from the aspect of reinforcing good behavior, and less from a standpoint of calling attention to bad behavior. When children receive praise and encouragement, they often become inspired to achieve more. A good way of doing this is to make an effort to notice and compliment the things that your child is doing, even if they are small actions. READ More on Inspiring Kids to Do Their Best
How to Teach Kids to Learn From Their Mistakes without Getting Frustrated
by Jennifer Shakeel
Turn a "can't do it" into a "can do it" learning opportunity
Although we as parents often wish to shield our child from the frustration and disappointment of making mistakes, it's important to realize that making mistakes is part of an important learning process in life. No matter how hard we might try to always do things right, making mistakes is one thing that is always part of life, regardless of whether we are young or old. It is important to teach a child that making a mistake isn't fatal, and that they can use mistakes as a way of learning to find better ways to be successful.
Children often become very disappointed and discouraged when they fail at something or make a mistake. For example, if a child doesn't do well at a school play audition or makes errors that prevent them for being selected for the baseball team, they sometimes can interpret the mistakes they made as failure, or as a sign that they aren't any good at these types of activities. As parents, we need to be able to show a child that when they make a mistake, this is simply an opportunity to learn. READ More on Teaching Kids to Learn From Their Mistakes
Kimberley Munley Hero who stopped Fort Hood shooter
I write this article as a parent sitting here thinking how we can talk to our kids about the insanity that recently happened at Fort Hood. How can we help our kids make sense of it when we ourselves cannot make sense of it?
Bad things happen, and there are bad people in the world. What is important is not to dwell on this, but dwell on how we, how good people react to such situations. While Fort Hood showed us some of the worst in people, it also showed us best in people, in us and in humanity. Lets talk to our kids about two of many heroes we are leaning about.
One such hero we are leaning about is Kimberly Munley, 34, mother of two girls. She was able to get there in just 4 minutes. She did not have time to think, just react. When she saw the shooter chasing an already wounded soldier she instantly fired. "He turned to her and charged, firing rapidly. She returned fire and fell to the ground to help protect herself," said Chuck Medley, director of Fort Hood's emergency services. Kimberly was able to hit the suspect, and end the worst shooting we have seen on a U.S. military base. However, in the process, she took a bullet in each leg and wrist.
To me a true hero is not someone who thinks about doing what is right, but one who simply does what is right without thinking! Kimberly is definitely one such hero. READ More on Talking to Your Kids about Fort Hood
by Stacey Schifferdecker
It's Not Fair!
With Thanksgiving approaching, I am struck by thoughts of fairness and gratitude. I never really thought of these two concepts being related, but we are currently in a phase of "That's not fair!" at my house. W, the middle school boy, says it isn't fair that his friend B has a cell phone and he doesn't. J, the elementary school girl, says it isn't fair that W gets to eat pizza at the church youth group meeting and that everyone has a later bed time than she does. And K doesn't think it's fair that he has so darn many math problems to do every night.
So why does all this whining make me think of gratitude? I sure don't feel grateful for the kids' bad attitudes! Unfortunately, many times a cry of "It's not fair!" is a symptom of an ungrateful heart. W, for example, should be grateful that he gets picked up from school instead of walking home like B does. J at least has food to eat and a warm, safe bed to sleep in. And K has a nice graphing calculator to speed up his Algebra II homework.
All of this reminds me of the Bible parable that my Sunday school class seems to have a hard time grasping. As Jesus told the story, a man sent workers into the vineyard in the morning, after agreeing to pay them a denarius for their day's work. A few hours later, he sent more workers to join them, and a few hours later even more workers. The end of the day came and all the workers received the same payment, whether they had worked one hour or the whole day. The workers who had been there all day protested with the classic cry of "It's not fair!" And the response of the master? "But he answered one of them, 'Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?' So the last will be first, and the first will be last." (Matthew 20:13-16). READ More on Its Not Fair! - Thanksgiving Thoughts on Fairness and Gratitude
Little Girl Pretending She is a Fairy Princess
by Jennifer Shakeel
When you were little didn't you have an imaginary friend, or maybe your bedroom was a huge fortress where your bed was the castle surrounded by a moat and you battled the evil king from another castle… or maybe saved a princess… or maybe you were the princess. The point is that you played and you would use your imagination. Today, not as many children play as much or use their imagination as much as when we were kids… and that may cripple them in the long run.
I know that I am not the only parent that has said to their kids that "When I was little we didn't have cable… or the internet or Play Stations. We were thrown outside when we woke up and weren't allowed back in until dinner." I have said that very thing… more than once… and it is 100% true. We were expected to play, and play meant outside. When you played you were suppose to use your imagination because toys 30 and 40 years ago were nowhere near as animated as they are today. You had to make Barbie talk, and if Barbie had a baby chances are pretty good that you used a tiny little doll or a Play School toy to be the baby. GI Joe's didn't talk, they were tiny little figures, which again is different than when my dad was little and the GI Joe doll was as big (size wise) as Barbie. But to play you had to make it up. READ More on The Essentialness of Play and Make Believe
Filed under Activities, Parenting, Playtime by More4kids
by Joy Burgess
Are there things you may not have said recently that your child may need to hear?
We are generally aware of what we say to our teens. We try to be positive, not use negative language, try to speak clearly so that there is no question about what you are trying to communicate to them. But did you ever think about what you don't say to your teen? Are there things that you aren't saying to your teen that they want or need to hear? "What do you wish your parents would say to you?" This was the provocative question posed on the website Words are Powerful: The Love Project.
The answers ranged from simple to complex, from funny to heartbreaking, but through it all, a pattern emerged. There are some consistent things that children not only want, but need to hear from their parents. Words are powerful, but the words we don't say can be just as powerful. Just because you think it, does not mean that your child automatically knows it, or doesn't need to hear it.
Have you said these ten things to your child recently?
1) I love you
Of course you love your child, no doubt about it, but when was the last time you actually said it? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we are doing in our jobs, in our personal lives, in our relationships that we forget to say the obvious but important things. Don't take it for granted that your child knows that you love him or her. Say it. Sometimes they just need to hear the words.
2) I am proud of you
There are things about your child that make you proud. Maybe they have a gentle, giving heart or maybe they have an exceptional artistic ability. Find at least one thing in your child that you are proud of and let them know about it. When you talk about your child to others, what do you say? What elements about him or her do you mention, even brag about to others? If you find that you are only seeing the negative, then it is a good time to find something positive, something good. Then let them know about it. You might be surprised in the attitude change that a simple "I am proud of you" can bring.
3) I support you in the things you want to do in your life
Your teen is not you. They have different likes and dislikes, they have different interests. To many teens, the feeling that they are not recognized as individuals is very real - and very frustrating. Maybe they grew up in a family of lawyers, but they want to be a writer. Maybe they feel drawn to a different religion or lifestyle. Maybe they grew up in a large family with lots of kids, but have chosen to only have one or two children when they "grow up" and start a family. Whatever the differences are, there is usually at least some anxiety involved when they tell you about it. As a loving, supportive parent, just saying "I support you in the things you want to do in your life" can make all the difference. READ More on Ten Things your Teen would like to Hear you say to Them
Interview by Jennifer Shakeel
Parenting Tips for a happier healthier family
This week I had the absolute fortune of interviewing Dr. Sylvia Rimm. I am sure that many of you have heard of Dr. Rimm. She had a regular segment on the Today Show for nine years. She is also a best-selling author of books such as "See Jane Win," "How Jane Won," "Rescuing the Emotional Lives of Overweight Children," and "How to Parent So Children Will Learn" to name a few. Dr. Rimm is also a clinical professor at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine and she is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, OH. I was very grateful that she was able to give me an interview.
Dr. Rimm has done extensive research on children that are gifted, children that are underachievers and overweight children and is considered among the top elite when it comes to many different parenting issues, families and issues that trouble tweens and teens. As you can imagine along with be grateful for her time I was overwhelmed with questions I wanted to ask. If you visit her website you will have access to more information then I could cover here, as well as you have the opportunity send Dr. Rimm your question about parenting and have her answer it.
For our talk what she and focused on were really ground rules for parenting. The reason is because in her research she has found there are certain things that parents of happy, successful and achieving children do to help make sure that their children excel, that other parents aren't doing when it comes to parenting their children. After talking with Dr. Rimm, I was relieved to know that my husband and I were doing most of them… and that I found out the areas we need to tweak alittle to get better results.
The first "pillar" we will call it has to do with the words you use. The words that you use with your child to discuss that child, as well as the words you use about that child to other people are what helps to mold that child. Your words are actually the building blocks to the identity you child has. Dr. Rimm says that it is important that we are using positive words when we are talking to our children or when we are talking about them. READ More on Parenting Advice from the Best
Filed under Parenting, Parenting Tips by More4kids
by Patricia Hughes
Teen Spending the Afternoon with her Dad
Most parents understand that their influence is important for their children, which is why so many parents spend time reading and thinking about parenting. Most of the research and news focuses on the importance of a stable family for children, but new studies have focused on the role Dad plays in his teenage daughter's life.
A study conducted at the University of Illinois was published in Child Development journal. This study looked at the correlation between sexual activity and parent-child relationships. Researchers interviewed over 3200 teens and their parents. The questions centered on interaction with parents.
Parents were asked questions regarding their knowledge of their kids' friends and how they spent their time. The answers were scored based on how much the parents knew about their teens and friends. Researchers compared this score with the rate of sexual activity in the teens. READ More on Importance of Dad for Teen Girls
Random Act of Kindness: Young Teen Surprising and Spending time with her Grandma
The other day I was sitting in traffic, a drizzling, chilly morning in rush hour traffic. Everyone with their own agenda, their own problems; but as I sat there, a truck pulled up beside another pickup that was laden with furniture. A guy got out of the passenger side, walked around to the back of the loaded pickup and grabbed a part of the plastic that was covering the load but had blown loose. He quickly tucked the plastic back over the load and re-secured it. Then he ran and jumped back into the truck, waved to the startled driver of the pickup and drove off. I sat there for a moment, smiling.
We've all heard the buzzword, "random acts of kindness," and we may even try to show kindness to others. But how do we as parents instill those values in our children? It is a self centered, materialistic world that we live in and teaching our children to step beyond that is not small task. However, it is possible to teach our kids these good values and it starts with giving them a role model. Children learn what they live, so if they live with you doing random acts of kindness, they are fairly certain to follow.
A random act of kindness does not have to be a major production. Kindness comes in many different shapes and sizes - and it is free. Teach your kids by doing, but also plan some actions with your child. Talk about nice things that you can do for others. Try some of these "random acts of kindness" with your teen. READ More on Random Acts of Kindness: Teaching Your Child to Pay it Forward
