If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would be getting a cell phone for my 13-year-old son, I would have laughed. Back then, I didn’t even have a cell phone myself and I saw no reason for young teens to have them. But guess what? When we renewed our plan back in April, we added our son to it and got him his own phone. He’s not much of a phone person and doesn’t use it that much. But now, if I get in caught in traffic on the way to pick him up from school, I can let him know. When he goes somewhere with the youth at church, he can call when he is on his way back so neither of us have to cool our heels waiting in the parking lot. So really, the phone is for me as much as, if not more, than for Kegan.

• Some cell phones made specifically for kids have parental controls. For example, they allow you to limit the phone numbers your child can call
• Some cell phones include a GPS device so you can track the whereabouts of your child
• Camera phones can provide some security. For example, if anyone bothers your child, she can take their photo to give to the police. 

• Is she responsible enough to take care of a phone – not lose it or abuse it?
• Is he responsible enough to follow the limits of the plan you choose and not go over in minutes?
• Is she responsible to follow your rules about who she can call and when?
• Is he responsible enough to follow his school’s rules about cell phone use?
• Does she really need one? 

Do you feel your preteen or tween needs much supervision? As surprising at it may sound, the majority of pre-teens and early adolescents behave in a responsible manner. They want to show you that they have an understanding of the rules and the common knowledge of right and wrong. On the other hand, we all know that they can also act irresponsibly. And for that reason they do need constant supervision still.

When your children are away from the home they are most often supervised. Most of the day they are at school where they are obviously watched by teachers and staff. If there are camps or afternoon organizations that they belong too then there is always adult supervision as well. Then the times when they are not supervised and out with friends are when they are most prone to getting into trouble.

Whether it is from peer pressure or the current mental state of excitement, there are times when your pre-teen child will forgot the rules on a spontaneous moment. For example, a friends of mine teenage son was told specifically not to leave the house when we were not home. One night we left for only an hour and came back early to find he walked 2 blocks down the road to his friends house. In another instance, another friends of mine daughter was caught making a huge mess in the basement with her other 12 year old friends, touching items that her Mother and I specifically told her not to touch. Kids will be kids.

As you can, although our young pre-teen children are becoming more and more independent each day that goes by, they still need supervision. The degree of supervision needed will vary, but obviously a ten year old will need more supervision than a twelve year old. A fourteen year old will need less watching over than the twelve year old, etc.

Whatever your children's age may be, you should always know what they are doing and where they are at. It is your duty to set the rules and make sure that your child understands the guidelines of wherever they are at and whatever they are doing. Regardless if you are at home, working, socializing, or vacationing, your responsibility remains the same.

For example, if your child is having any sort of party, even with just a few friends, then you should be home, no excuses. There will be times when your pre-teen son or daughter will want to go to a party outside of the house to another friends house or elsewhere. It is your responsibility as parents to call and make sure that there will be other adults supervising them. Do not be afraid to take a strong hold with this rule. It can help maintain good order and keep your kids from getting into unnecessary trouble. Kids will be kids, and good parenting is a never ending task.

By Dr. Caron B. Goode 

Kevin's comment: This is an excellent article that can be applied to children of all ages. Reading and reflecting on it really helps one understand not only your child but also yourself. If you ever wonder why you and your child continually butt heads, this article can help. It provides insight in understanding not only your childs personality but your own. It has given me a whole new perspective in understanding my children.

Tweens have a lot on their plates. They have school, friends, extracurricular activities, and impending puberty. It’s no wonder they have a hard time remembering their chores!

Style	Traits	Likes	Dislikes	Approach
Cognitive	*Analytical *Orderly *Organized *Disciplined *Serious *Consistent *Critical *Logical *Persistent *Stubborn	*To be told how to do chores first * Having plenty of time to complete chores * Being given a deadline	*Not being given ample time to finish a chore  *Feeling as if efforts are unappreciated * Being rushed or surprised * Being interrupted	*Tell your child what chore you want her to do and how to do it. Then give her a deadline, making sure she has more than enough time to finish.
Behavioral	*Independent *Productive *Competitive *Results-oriented *Impatient *Problem- solver *Quick Acting *Walks to her own drummer	*A fast pace *Cooperation *To be given freedom *To be told what to do and when to do it *They are allowed to find shortcuts *Being rewarded	*Wasting time *Dealing with details *Others trying to control them *When others talk too much *When others are act and react emotionally	*Tell your child what chore to do and when. That is all the instruction she needs. Don’t try to control her- allow her to complete the chore in her own way.
Affective	*Enthusiastic *Energetic *Creative *Gregarious *Undisciplined *Easily loses track of time *Intuitive	*Being challenged in a fun way *Flexibility *A fast pace *Having fun *Enthusiasm *Affection *Playing games	*When others are too task oriented *Being confined *Dealing with details *When her achievements go unrecognized	*Tell your child what chore to do and give her a deadline. Since she tends to lose track of time, give her a generous timeline as a guide.
Interpersonal	*Laid back *Dependable *Persistent *Mature *Cooperative *Helpful *Practical *Patient *Loyal *Tenacious *Introverted	*To be trusted with important tasks *A factual and practical approach *To be asked instead of told what to do *Others to define expectations	*When others don’t respect boundaries *When her efforts are unappreciated *Overbearing and forceful individuals *When others take advantage of her helpful nature	*Ask her to do a chore and give her practical and proven instruction. Be sure to thoroughly outline your expectations so she knows exactly what you expect of her.