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Julie &  Kevin – More4kids Inc.
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Father's Day is a time to celebrate dads, and for fathers, it is a great time to reflect on the relationship you have with your children. Maybe you have a great relationship with your children or maybe you would like to be more involved in your child's life. The role of a father is an important one, and many studies show that having a father that is involved is beneficial to the entire family. Of course, not only will your children benefit from you being involved in their lives, but you'll enjoy great benefits too. This Father's Day, consider the benefits of being an involved dad and consider a few of these tips for bonding and becoming more involved with your children. It will definitely pay off big time.

Being Involved – The Benefits for Your Children

First, let's take a look at some of the benefits your children will enjoy when you are an involved dad. Being involved in your child's life is going to include getting involved in all aspects of their lives. As you do this, here are a few benefits your children will enjoy.

Benefit #1 – Greater Success – Studies have shown that children who have fathers who are involved in their lives enjoy greater success in life. They are more successful in their career pursuits, which leads to financial stability.

Benefit #2 – Fewer Problems – Another benefit of being involved with your children is they usually have fewer problems in life. They are less likely to be delinquent, get involved in violence, or have other behavioral problems.

Benefit #3 – Better Cognitive Abilities – Interestingly enough, spending more time bonding with your kids can increase their cognitive abilities. Regardless of your own education level, being involved with your kids can increase cognitive test scores and the likelihood that they graduate high school and even pursue higher education.

Benefit #4 – Better Life Skills – Your children will also benefit from better life skills when you stay involved in their lives. They will build positive characteristics, including social skills, self control, and self esteem.

Benefit #5 – They'll Be Better Parents – Last, when you are involved in your children's lives, they are more likely to be better parents too. You are setting an example for them. If you are involved, they are more likely to be involved and be committed to their family when they become adults. What you are doing now is not just affecting your children, but maybe even your grandchildren.

Being an Involved Father – The Benefits for YOU!

Yes dad, being involved is great for your children. However, you also need to realize that there are some great benefits for you too. When you build up relationships that are strong with your children, you will also receive care and support. Here are several important benefits you'll enjoy as you become more involved with your children.

Benefit #1 – Secure Relationship – First, as you are involved with your children, you'll reap the benefit of having a secure relationship for them. Even as they become adults, that relationship will continue.

Benefit #2 – Effectively Deal with Stress – Being involved in the lives of your children can help you more effectively deal with stress in your life. You know you are doing the right thing and the relationships you build will help to combat stress.

Benefit #3 – Confidence – As you are involved in your child's life, you'll enjoy greater confidence. You will feel that you have more to offer others socially, on the job, and as a parent.

Benefit #4 – You Have Someone to Depend On - When you build up strong relationships and bonds with your children, you have the benefit of knowing that you have someone that you can depend on. Your children will get older, grow up, and become your support network, which is a wonderful thing.

Parenting Tips for Bonding and Being More Involved with Your Children

Sometimes it is a bit tougher for fathers to build bonds with their children than it is for mothers. Some barriers that fathers often deal with include time mismanagement as well as work. Balancing your family and everything else in your life can be tough, but it is not impossible. If you want to bond with your children and become more involved in their lives, here are a few great tips that can help.

Tip #1 – Get Involved in Night Time Rituals – Bedtime is actually one of the best times to bond with your kids. Maybe you can read a bedtime story to the kids at night, complete with all the funny voices. If you have a small child, consider rocking him to sleep at night. Come up with a special game you play before bed or some other fun routine you do each night together.

Tip #2 – Remember Physical Contact – To bond and become more involved with your children, remember physical contact. Sometimes fathers just don't think about it, but a simple hug for your child can really increase the bond you have with them. Take time out for plenty of hugs and kisses with your kids.

Tip #3 – Spend Time Talking – Although you may not have a lot of time, try to take a bit of time each day to talk with your children. Communication is one of the most important parts of being involved in their lives. You want to know what they are thinking and feeling, so talking to them is another important tip for being involved in your children's lives.

Tip #4 – Enjoy Physical Activities Together – Enjoying physical activities together can build a strong bond as well. Consider sharing a hobby that you both enjoy. Work on the lawn together. Workout together or coach a team that they are involved in, such as little league. Doing something together will increase your bond and give you something in common with your child too.

Tip #5 – Consider Sharing Spiritual Activities - You can also consider sharing spiritual activities with your child. In fact, these activities can be very powerful when it comes to bonding. Consider going to synagogue or church with your child, enjoying spiritual stories, praying with your child, or even exploring nature and its mysteries with your child.

Finally, the bond between a father and child is a special one. However, it takes some work to create that bond. There are definitely benefits to being an involved dad, so consider using some of these tips to get more involved in your child's life. You'll both enjoy the benefits for life.

Parenting at More4kids: More4Kids Inc © and All Rights Reserved

Christmas is so much easier – babies, sheep, angels, stars. It’s pretty much all about love and presents: things your kids can relate to. Sure there’s the nasty part where Herod kills the baby boys, but that’s not an essential part of the story and you can leave it out if you want to.

• Match your beliefs
• Are not too violent
• Include Jesus’ resurrection as well as his death

• Egg 1 – a piece of fur to represent the donkey Jesus rode into Jerusalem
• Egg 2 – a cracker symbolizing the Last Supper
• Egg 3 – a piece of soap, symbolizing Jesus washing the disciples’ feet
• Egg 4 – three dimes to symbolize the 30 pieces of silver Judas received to betray Jesus
• Egg 5 – a feather to represent the rooster that crowed three times
• Egg 6 –  a thorn, symbolizing the crown of thorns that was put on Jesus’ head
• Egg 7 – a die to symbolize the lots that were cast for Jesus’ clothing
• Egg 8 – a small wooden cross or a nail to represent Jesus’ death on the cross
• Egg 9 – a piece of black paper to symbolize the darkness that covered the earth
• Egg 10 – a piece of cloth to symbolize the cloth in which Joseph wrapped Jesus’ body
• Egg 11 – a rock to symbolize the stone that sealed Jesus’ tomb
• Egg 12 – Leave this egg empty to symbolize Jesus’ resurrection

Biography
Stacey Schifferdecker is the happy but harried mother of three school-aged children—two boys and a girl. She is also a freelance writer, a Children’s Minister, a PTA volunteer, and a Scout leader. Stacey has a Bachelor’s degree in Communications and French and a Master’s degree in English. She has written extensively about parenting and education as well as business, technology, travel, and hobbies.

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No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2007

OUR NEWEST MUSIC CD

Awesome Kids Christian Music

This personalized music CD features your child’s name sung throughout 11 songs and is a great gift for Christians of any age but geared towards children from birth to about age 10. Listen to the samples and judge for yourself. This new album is an original mixture of classical Christian Music that affirms Jesus and God is watching over and loves us.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION on this personalized music CD.

Love is spending time with your family

One way I learn is finding great quotes and incorporating them into my life. In have been doing a lot on Twitter in the evenings and have been sharing with many of my Twitter friends. Many of the quotes I have found researching, and some I have even made up myself based on experiences of myself and others. I share these quotes humbly and hope people will enjoy reading and learning from these parenting, family and motivational quotes. Please let us know what your favorite parenting quotes are. Here are some of ours:

Parenting Quotes:

There is no such thing as a perfect parent so just be a real one. – Sue Atkins

A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child. – Knights of Pythagoras

Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be – David Bly

Stop trying to perfect your child, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with him- Dr. Henker

Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes to drain it dry-Alvin Price

As your kids grow they may forget what you said, but won't forget how you made them feel – Kevin Heath

Encourage & support your kids because "Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them. – Lady Bird Johnson

If your child has a weakness, teach them how to turn it into a strength! The only Failure is not trying. – Kevin Heath

Kids learn integrity from us: "Integrity is what we say, what we do, and what we say we do." – Don Galer

If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others. – Haim Ginott

Children desperately need to know – and to hear in ways they understand and remember – that they're loved and valued by mom and dad – Paul Smally

The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children – Elaine Heffner

Let your kids observe you doing random acts of kindness, it can be contagious – Kevin Heath

All parents should know that: "He who knows patience knows peace." – Chinese proverb

When that kid looks into your eyes and you know its yours, you know what it means to be alive. – Anonymous

Communicating w/kids, its a 2 way street, sometimes they just need us to be there for them & listen. – Kevin Heath

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. – Richard David Bach

Parenting @ a higher level of consciousness:1st love self so deeply that when ur child misbehaves U do not have 2 react @LoveNever_Fails

When you give a little of yourself to a child, you give a little of yourself to their future! – Kevin Heath

You have many choices. You can choose forgiveness over revenge, joy over despair. You can choose action over apathy..- Stephanie Marston

Letting your kids see u helping others and not expect anything in return can be contagious – Kevin Heath

Spread love everywhere u go: first of all in your home. Give love 2 ur children, to a wife or husband, 2 a next-door neighbor-Mother Teresa

Small & Random acts of kindness can make the world of difference in someones life – Kevin Heath

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. – Jodie Foster

Sharing is Caring – Teaching our children to share is teaching them compassion and love. – Kevin Heath

If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart. – Arabic proverb

When talking w/kids its not what we say but how we say it! Think about your tone of voice & non-verbal communication.

When talking to my kids I can get them to listen better by not talking down to them, but talking to them at eyeball level – Kevin Heath

The true test of a person's character is how they treat the people in life that they don't need. – Lee Corso

The best gift is giving from your heart – Kevin Heath

By profession I am a Soldier & take pride in that fact, but I am prouder to be a father. – General Douglas MacArthur

The best gift, and investment, you can give your child is your time – Kevin Heath

Important to admit your mistakes & say your sorry to your kids. Only that way will you build trust – kevin

Man, Woman or Child, we can all have a profound impact on those around us. We can change the world, one person at a time! – Kevin

Encourage our kids to dream: "Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere" -Carl Sagan

Don't be afraid of giving kids responsibility, be there to guide & support them, not just to do things for them – Kevin Heath

Presence is more than just being there – Malcolm Forbes

Biology makes us Mothers & Fathers, whats in the heart makes us Mom's and Dad's – Kevin Heath

It is time for parents to teach young people that in diversity there is beauty & there is strength – Maya Angelou

Love is giving your kids your undivided attention and time – Kevin Heath

It is not a bad thing that children should occasionally, and politely, put parents in their place – Colette

The surest way to a child's heart is to spend time with them – Kevin Heath

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you.- Desmond Tutu

In the end, kids won't remember that fancy toy or game you bought for them, they will remember the time you spent with them. – Kevin Heath

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world – Dorothy Law Neite

Parents need to listen as much to their kids as they do to them: "The first duty of love is to listen." – Paul Tillich

Children Learn What They Live – Dorothy Law Neite

Praise your children openly, reprehend them secretly. W. Cecil

Do this every night with an 'I Love you': "Always kiss your children goodnight – even if they're already asleep" – H. Brown, Jr

Parents make mistakes too, don't try to hide from them or cover them up. Admit them and teach your kids from the mistakes you make – k. heath

To me parenting is all about trust. If you don't live by your words or actions how do you expect your kids to listen to you? – Kevin Heath

What I love about kids is there innate ability to love unconditionally – we can all learn from this – Kevin Heath

Parenting tip: complement your child on something well done when they don't think you are looking! – Kevin Heath

If your children look up to you, you've made a success of life's biggest job. – Unknown

If I had my child to raise over again:
I'd build self-esteem first and the house later
I'd finger paint more and point the finger less
I would do less correcting and more connecting
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes
I would care to know less and know to care more
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars
I'd do more hugging and less tugging
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often
I would be firm less often and affirm much more
I'd model less about the love of power
And more about the power of love.
Diane Loomans

This is perhaps my favorite quote which has had a profound impact on me:

Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

So, the final question is how do you want your children to think about you?

Peace,

Kevin – More4kids

Many children are shy – it's not uncommon at all. However, dealing with a shy child as a parent can be difficult. While there is no shame in being shy, if you continue to let your child be shy, they can later be robbed of important life opportunities. For this reason, it's important that parents find ways to help bring their child out, helping them to overcome the shyness that they are dealing with. Of course, it's easier said than done to help your child get over being shy. Here is a look at tips and advice that parents can use to help out when it comes to parenting a shy child.

Why Is Your Child Shy?

The first thing you need to do if you have a shy child is to ask yourself why your child is shy in the first place. There are various reasons that your child may be shy. Take a look at when you notice your child being shy. Are they shy all the time, only shy when meeting someone new, shy in large groups, or shy when having to make presentations? If you are able to figure out the situations when your child is shy, you will be better able to overcome this.

You also need to consider the fact that your child may be dealing with more than just a bit of shyness. Various medical conditions and other conditions may be confused with shyness in a child. Your child could be dealing with a problem like Asperger's Syndrome, autism, anxiety, or even learning disabilities. Take a careful look at your child and their actions. If you think there may be an underlying problem other than shyness, make sure they get the professional attention that they need.

Be a Role Model

Another important tip for parenting a shy child is to be a role model yourself. You may be surprised at how much your child learns from you. They learn by watching what you do, so it is important that you are a good role model for them. When you are in social situations, be friendly to others, introduce yourself to other people, and compliment strangers, friends, and family members. There are some things you should avoid too. Don't criticize other people in public, don't berate your child for being shy, and don't avoid people because you are nervous. This only sends the wrong message to your child. Even if you are a shy person yourself, to help you child, you need to overcome that and work on setting the example for your child. Not only can this help your child learn important social skills, but it can help you overcome shyness in your own life as a parent.

Start Early with Social Skills

Good social skills don't just randomly occur in children – they are taught. This means that you need to work on these skills with your children, and the earlier you begin, the better. Shyness increases as children age, so you need to start young with your child. Not sure how to encourage social skills in your young child? Start out by having play dates so your child gets the chance to interact with other children at a young age. Take time at home to practice social skills, such as giving compliments, introducing people, or even shaking hands with others. Teach kids about friendship and how to be a good friend. These are all simple ways that you can teach young children important social skills that will help them to overcome shyness later in life.

Help Your Child Learn About Respect and Tolerance

People who are shy are often more judgmental – of themselves as well as others. If you are judgmental yourself, this will teach your child to become this way as well. When you are criticizing others, you are teaching children that when they go out, people are going to judge them as well, which leads to even more shyness. This causes them to withdraw into their own world of shyness. It is important that you instead teach your child about respect and tolerance for other people. Teach them to respect people even if they do have shortcomings. Let them know that no one is perfect, but people are worthwhile and should be tolerated in spite of imperfections. Compliment other people instead of tearing people down.

Also, you need to avoid referring to your child's shyness in a negative way, which is a way of judging your child.  While shyness should not be an excuse for behavior, you need to avoid labeling your child as shy in a negative way. Instead, find ways you can compliment your child while helping them to overcome the shyness that they are dealing with.

When You Need Help

There are some cases where your child may simply be dealing with shyness. However, there are times when this can be a more serious problem, such as severe social anxiety disorder. Sometimes children can go beyond simply being shy and they may become depressed, lonely, isolated, and they may even feel hopeless. In some cases, this may lead to panic attacks when they are put in social situations. This is not a simple problem to ignore. If you feel that your child is dealing with more than simple shyness, do not wait to get help. It may be a good idea to find a good psychologist that is trained in treating these problems in children.

Parenting a shy child can be tough, but if you work on it as a team with your child, they can overcome shyness, which will be helpful later in life for them. Use these tips and ideas with your child and remember, if it seems that your child is more than just shy, get the help that your child needs.

Random Act of Kindness: Young Teen Surprising and Spending time with her Grandma

The other day I was sitting in traffic, a drizzling, chilly morning in rush hour traffic. Everyone with their own agenda, their own problems; but as I sat there, a truck pulled up beside another pickup that was laden with furniture. A guy got out of the passenger side, walked around to the back of the loaded pickup and grabbed a part of the plastic that was covering the load but had blown loose. He quickly tucked the plastic back over the load and re-secured it. Then he ran and jumped back into the truck, waved to the startled driver of the pickup and drove off. I sat there for a moment, smiling.

We've all heard the buzzword, "random acts of kindness," and we may even try to show kindness to others. But how do we as parents instill those values in our children? It is a self centered, materialistic world that we live in and teaching our children to step beyond that is not small task. However, it is possible to teach our kids these good values and it starts with giving them a role model. Children learn what they live, so if they live with you doing random acts of kindness, they are fairly certain to follow.

A random act of kindness does not have to be a major production. Kindness comes in many different shapes and sizes – and it is free. Teach your kids by doing, but also plan some actions with your child. Talk about nice things that you can do for others. Try some of these "random acts of kindness" with your teen.

At the Market

• When you are in the checkout line as see someone with a full cart, help them unload it.
• At the self check-out lines (that can be so frustrating!) if you see someone struggling with the system, step up and help them out.
• If you see someone trying to get something on a shelf that is out of reach and you are tall enough to reach it, get it for them.
• When you are in the parking lot and see someone putting their groceries in their car, offer to help.
• Let someone go ahead of you in the checkout line.

On the Street

• Hold the door for someone.
• Smile at people and say "good morning" or "hello."
• Compliment a stranger, especially if they seem as if they are having a bad day.
• When leaving a pay parking garage, pay for the person behind you when you pay for yourself.

Other Acts of Kindness

• When you meet someone, learn their name and one personal thing about them (a college professor taught me this and is is amazing the impact it has on people).
• When you have good service somewhere, write a letter to the company and that person's manager, telling them about their outstanding employee.
• Stop negative comments by changing the subject when someone starts talking in a negative, bad way.
• If you wash your clothes at a laundromat and someone has left their laundry in the dryer that you want to use, instead of just taking their clothes out and dumping them in the basket, fold them neatly.
• Tape the exact change that is needed for a soda on a soda machine. If you like, add a note, "This one's on me!"
• Listen to someone who needs to talk. Just listen to them.
• Leave an inspirational book in a place where you know it will be found (in a park, on the bus, etc.). You can even leave a note telling the reader you hope they enjoy the book and to pass it on to someone else when they are finished.
• Do something nice for someone when they are ill like wash their dishes, cook a meal or tidy up their house.
• Bake cookies and take them to someone who is homebound.
• Locate a family that is struggling financially and buy each member several small gifts then have it delivered while you remain anonymous.

Volunteer Activities

• Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
• Read to children.
• Help out at a shelter for homeless people, battered women or runaways.
• Visit a retirement home.
• Volunteer at a hospital, children's ward or clinic.

Use Your Words

• Write a letter, or for younger kids, help them write a letter to someone, telling them how much you appreciate them.
• Write a letter to a friend, classmate or co-worker, highlighting their strengths.
• Play "10 Good Things." Say ten good things about someone.
• Remember that words are powerful. Say something to someone that you know they want to hear – or need to hear.
• Tell someone that they are special.
• Tell someone that you love them.

Where to Find More Acts of Kindness Ideas

HelpOthers.org

This site has several lists and tons of ideas for kind things you can do for others.

The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation

Lots of inspiring ideas on this site. You can also share your acts of kindness and read what others are doing.

Words are Powerful: The Love Project

Find out what people really want to hear and just how powerful your words can be. You can also leave your own comments or story.

Don't be Sad Blog

30 great ideas for doing kind things for others.

Random Acts of Kindness Blog

Lots of good, interesting ideas for doing random acts of kindness.

Kind Acts

Interesting site that talks about Random Acts of Kindness Week as well as gives ideas for doing kind acts.

Sit down with your child and make a plan together. Brainstorm and think of different ways that you can be kind to others. Work together and make random acts of kindness a family objective. If your kids are living these values, they will learn them and carry them on as they grow older.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Friendship is extremely important for kids and adults alike. After all, it's friends who share in our life and who challenge us to be our best selves. With friends we create memories that are happy and with friends we go through tough times as well. Unfortunately, some kids have more difficulties than others when it comes to making friends. While you'd probably like to get out there and make friends for your child so they aren't so disappointed, you can't. However, what you can do is help to equip your child with the tools needed to function socially and start making friends.

Each child is born with the desire to have relationships; however, every child goes about developing friendships in a different way. For many children, especially younger ones, they need a bit of help to develop important social skills along the way before they are able to make friends. Some of these skills include negotiation, communication, problem solving, empathy, and cooperation skills. There are things that you can do to help support your child as they work to make friends. Here are some tips and ideas to help your child to develop friends.

Give Your Child Opportunities to Meet Others

One way that you can help your child to make friends is to give them opportunities to meet other people. You can do this by having other kids over for a meal or for play time. Consider carpooling so your child can meet other kids or get them signed up for extra curricular activities. Allow your child to have unstructured time to play as well, since this helps them to develop important social skills. Get your child interacting with other people as well. If you are visiting a neighbor or you are having adults over to your home, allow your child to interact with them. The more your child interacts with various types of people, the easier it will be for them to make friends.

Support Your Child

You need to offer support to your child if you want to help them to make friends. While this seems self explanatory, how often are you really taking the time to talk to your child and listen to what they have to say? You can learn a lot about what's going on just by finding out what's going on when they are out on the playground. When they do pick friends, support those decisions and welcome them as well. Perhaps take the time to get to know the parents of your child's friends too.

Showing Your Child How to Be a Good Friend – Several Tips to Try

Of course probably the most important thing that you can do to help kids make friends is to actually show them how to be a good friend. They need to see an example. Treat them in the way that they should be treating others if they want to make friends. Here are some important tips to try that can help show your child how they can be a great friend to others.

Tip #1 – Show a Sense of Humor - Humor is important if you want to make friends. Show this to your children by laughing at yourself and your own shortcomings. Handle problems with a laugh and a great sense of humor.

Tip #2 – Help Them see Their Strengths - Another way that you can show your kids how to be a good friend is to help them see their own strengths. Good friends help others to realize their strengths. Do this with your child to teach them this important tip.

Tip #3 – Give Compliments to Others - Give compliments to others and treat them kindly. Kids need to see how kindness is shown to others. You can do this by complimenting your child or having them watch you compliment and show kindness to other friends that you have.

Tip #4 – Listen to Your Kids - Take the time to listen to your kids. Good friends take the time to listen to each other without criticizing them. You can teach your kids this important lesson by listening to them.

Tip #5 – Avoid Complaining - Don't complain about others. Teach your kids how important it is to accept things in life that you can't change. Also teach them how to work in order to change things that really can be changed. This is an important skill when it comes to making friends.

Tip #6 – Show Empathy to Others - Last of all, show empathy to others. When other people are going through tough times, show empathy to them. Empathy is an important skill that kids need to learn in order to make quality friendships in their lives.

It is that time of year when we all look back on the year we have had and get ready to make our lists of promises to ourselves about how we are going to improve in the New Year. Yes, I am talking about New Year’s Resolutions. We all know the old stand-bys such as losing weight or quitting a bad habit. This year I would like to make a proposal, make your New Year’s Resolutions about bringing your family closer.

I know that at this time with our economy as bad as it is, and many of us face the hardest times that we can remember. It is now, at this time of year that we need to look at all we each have to be thankful for and focus on how to make those connections stronger then ever. What are the reasons you get up each and every day and try to do your best? The answer is the family that you have around you. With a strong family bond in place, it makes even the toughest of times easier to get through. Plus you are teaching your children what is really important in life, and it will encourage them to always strive to not just do their best, but to keep them grounded and focused as they grow. I pray that we have done that with our children, as I am sure that you do.

Now that we have the right focus, our family, it is time to come up with a list of resolutions. I recommend everyone sitting down together to create this list. If everyone has input into the list then everyone is more likely to follow through on the resolutions. Besides, listening to what your kids think on how to bring the family closer may surprise you. For example, we have a 13 year old, a 10 year old and now a 1 week old. While my husband and I always include the kids in what we do (I am not kidding, the only time we have a “date” is if our children already have social engagements with friends), which to many may be obsessive on our part, but that is just the way we have always been and our children actually like it. The point I was trying to make here is that when we asked them what they wanted to see change in the next year it wasn’t that they wanted more or less time with us, they wanted alone time with each of us. So we set up “Dates with Dad” and “Dates with Mom” days.

I would like to tell you that we were great about doing this every other weekend, but we weren’t. We did do it frequently enough though that our children were happy. We also had to get a little creative with what the “dates” entailed, but it could be simply our son going with my husband to run “man errands” such as going to Home Depot or helping my husband put things together. What the kids wanted was our undivided attention for 30 minutes or an hour. It was simple, and they were happy and we were happy. It helps you know your children as people, not just as your kids, and it helps your kids to see that yes you are their parent, but you are a person that they can hang out with and talk to.

There are other things that you can do to help bring your family closer. As a matter of fact, there is a game company that has made a great commercial about “Family Game Night.” One day a week all the televisions are turned off, the video games are put away, you pick out your favorite tunes to play in the background and you all sit down together and play a game, start to finish. Our family game nights are usually either Yahtzee or rummy. We have our own set of rules for Rummy, which makes it a bit more of a challenge, but it is always fun because the kids are constantly trying to go out before their dad who usually beats us all point wise.

If games aren’t your thing and you prefer a movie, don’t go out to the movies, rent or buy one and watch it together as a family at home. Make homemade popcorn, get a couple boxes of movie candy from the store, everyone’s favorite soda and curl up on the sofa together and watch a good movie. The options are endless really. Pick the things you like to do as a family and commit to doing them more often.

Now, you should also focus on ways that you as a family can not only spend time together but make the community around you better. So one resolution that you can make is one weekend a month your family is going to have a “Treat your neighbor day,” pick a neighbor in your neighborhood and do something nice for them. This could be the elderly couple down the road who needs help taking out the trash or doing yard work or perhaps they would just like to come over for dinner. This could also be the family across the street that you know is having a hard time, so as a family you invite them to dinner and a movie at your place. For this one, it isn’t important that your children know another family is struggling, you are doing it simply to be neighborly. If you don’t want to have people over, spend a weekend baking, cooking or creating something to hand out to everyone that lives on your street. Cookies are inexpensive, homemade cards that say “I am glad we are neighbors” are also wonderful.

Finally, a great recommendation for the New Years is taking your kids and spending one day a month at the homeless shelter serving food or volunteering. When you do this as a family it accomplishes a multitude of things. First, it will make each of you appreciate each other a little more. Second, when your kids see you putting the needs of others first it encourages them to do the same. Third, it will instill gratitude for whatever you have in your lives.

The best resolutions are those your family can do together, whether it is more exercise by going on family hikes, or going to museums, art shows, or just about anything you can think of your family can do together. The best part of these types of resolutions is that they are a lot easier to keep because of family peer pressure. Just site down with your family and make a list of activities the whole family can enjoy or help with. This will help your family be accountable to each other.

Don't forget to share your personal resolutions. Make it a point (or a resolution), that everyone in the family must help and encourge each other to achieve these goals. Ahh, family peer pressure, its a pretty powerful thing.

Make this New Year, the best year for you and your family. Strengthen your family bonds with a family New Year’s Resolution list.

From all of us here at More4kids, have a Happy New Year and a great 2009!

Beating the Morning Rush

When you are getting your kids up in the morning to get ready for daycare or school, it can definitely become frustrating and stressful. Often morning mania occurs, which has you dreading those mornings during the week. If you're tired of dealing with this problem, there are things that you can do to deal with this in a positive way. Here are a few tips that can help you go from morning mania to something a bit less hectic.

Tip #1 – Make it a Routine

One of the most important tips for taming morning mania in your home is to make getting up and ready for the day a routine. If you don't start a routine and make sure your kids know that this is not an option, your mornings will become a lot easier. Establish a routine that is non-negotiable and talk to your kids about consequences that will occur if they not follow the routine. Without a routine you'll end up with tantrums and morning melt-downs, which will mean everyone begins their day in a stressful way.

Tip #2 – Try Planning Out Outfits

Morning mania can often be caused by missing socks, shoes that are mismatched, or a shirt that suddenly has a stain on it. To avoid the frantic shuffle trying to find clothing to wear, try planning out outfits for your kids ahead of time. For younger kids, help them pick out what they'll wear, allowing them some input. This should include everything, from socks, to shoes, outer clothing, underwear, and anything else they are going to wear. Plan ahead and lay it all out the night before. It will save a lot of time. Older kids can choose their own clothing, but have them choose the night before as well so you avoid clothing drama in the morning.

Tip #3 – Determine Breakfast the Night Before

Another tip for taming down that morning mania is to determine breakfast the night before. Decide what you'll be doing for breakfast in the morning. Every family is different. You may want to send money so kids can eat breakfast at school, or always have cereal and fruit waiting in the morning. Maybe you want to plan out a breakfast menu to follow. However you decide to do this, just make sure your kids get plenty of good nutrition and have it all planned out so you aren't scrambling to find breakfast options in the morning.

Tip #4 – Try Some Organization

Some organization can make a big difference and cut down on the stress of those weekday mornings too. If your kids take lunch to school, make sure that you have them packed and ready in the fridge the night before. Keep jackets in one area where kids can quickly grab them on the way out the door. Make sure kids have their backpacks ready and loaded before bed so they can just grab them and go out the door without dashing around trying to find the missing homework.

Tip #5 – Make Kids Responsible for Getting Up

Older kids should be made responsible for getting up on their own. There comes a point when you shouldn't have to be the one getting them up in the mornings anyway. Instead of having parents yelling at them to get up, give them the option to use an alarm clock so they get up and get ready on time. If they miss something, have them set their alarm a bit earlier the next day. This is a good way to help kids learn responsibility.

Tip #6 – Be a Role Model of Good Behavior in the Morning

Last, make sure that you are a role model of good behavior in the morning. That morning mania may be caused by you if you aren't showing off a good model of proper behavior. If you are frantic, grumpy, and you moan and groan your way through the morning, your kids are probably going to copy your attitude. Start getting up a few minutes earlier, stay organized, and keep your attitude level and happy as you go through the morning routine. Over time your kids will catch on and you'll be able to end that morning mania.

You don't have to keep going through mornings that have you stressed to the max before ever leaving your home. Start using these tips on a daily basis and you'll definitely see a positive change.

Getting back in the dating scene can definitely be difficult for single parents. After all, it's probably been awhile since you went out on a date. Of course, dating as a single parent brings with it many challenges and pressures that you have to deal with as a parent. It can be difficult enough being a single parent and adding a relationship to the mix can definitely bring up some complications. However, while there are unique challenges ahead, it doesn't mean that you can't have enjoyable dates and find someone special again. To help you navigate this new territory, here are some helpful single parent dating tips that will make the entire process easier for you, your date, and your children.

Tip #1 – Never Lie About Being a Parent

While it can be tough to get dates as a single parent, it is important that you never lie about being a parent. When you are dating, you want to make sure that your date understands that you are first a parent. Don't try hiding this. If you try to lie about being a single parent, eventually the truth is going to come out. Besides, anyone that is worth your time should be fine with the fact you're a single parent. If they aren't comfortable with this fact, then move on to someone else who can deal with the fact that your priorities are your children.

Tip #2 – Talk to Your Children

Another important tip to remember for single parent dating is to talk to your children. It isn't a good idea to hide the fact that you are going out on a date from your children. They will probably find out anyway and it is better if they get the news from you. Talk to your kids and let them know you're going out to enjoy some adult time with a good friend. At this point, this is all your kids need to know. Keep it simple. Talk to them, but don't get into too many details at this stage in the game.

Tip #3 – Don't Introduce Dates Right Away – Take it Slow

Although you may be tempted to introduce your date right away, it's a better option to take it slow. Make sure you have spent a great deal of time with this person in your life before you introduce them to your kids. When you introduce them, it should only be for short periods of time. As things go on, you can include that special person in your family life more and more. However, it's important that you are very careful when allowing your children to meet your date. Avoid going to quickly here. You don't want them to get attached to your date only for you to break up within a few months. This can be hard on the emotions on your children. It's best to avoid too much contact until you are sure that this person will probably become a permanent part of your life.

Tip #4 – Don't Feel Guilty

Many single parents feel guilt when they begin dating again. Eliminate that guilt. There is no need to feel guilty. It's totally normal to crave some time with other adults. Going out on dates doesn't mean that you are being a bad parent or that you love your children any less. Going on a date is fine as long as it doesn't get in the way of you caring for your children.

Tip #5 – Avoid Talking About Your Ex

When you are dating as a single parent, one important tip to remember is to avoid talking about your ex. This is totally unfair to the person that you are dating. Make sure you are over your ex before you begin dating again. As things get more serious, no doubt your ex will come up from time to time. Just avoid making your date feel uncomfortable by complaining about your ex for the entire date. Your date doesn't deserve this.

Tip #6 – Be a Role Model in Your Relationship

As you are dating, make sure that you are a role model in your relationship. Do you want your kids bringing home new dates to stay overnight? If not, you need to avoid doing this yourself. While it's exciting to be back in the dating game, don't allow things to go too far too fast. You need to set a good role model for the children in your home, especially when it comes to the new relationship you are involved in.

Tip #7 – Keep Safety in Mind

Today on of the most important things to keep in mind is your safety and the safety of your children. We live in a mobile world that makes it very easy for people to hide their real background. Get to know people before bringing them into your home. Go on dates in public places in the beginning. You may even want to check the background of your date. You never want to bring home anyone that may be a safety risk to your children. This is why it is so important that you keep safety in mind and avoid bringing any date home right away to meet the kids.

Tip #8 – Listen to Your Children

Last, it is so important that you listen to your children. When you just get out into the dating game again, it is easy to look at a new date blindly. Once your date meets your kids, listen to what your children have to say about your date. Often kids can offer some great input and unique perspectives. If your child truly feels uncomfortable or scared with your date, this is a good reason to break things off.

There are definitely many things to consider when you get back into the dating game as a single parent. However, you can enjoy yourself and meet some wonderful people. In fact, you may even meet someone special to share your life with when you start dating again. Just keep these single parent dating tips in mind to make the process go more smoothly for everyone.

Be sure to check out a new site we help start for online dating and friendship, FriendBurst.com. Our plans are to help cater to the busy life of single parents. We hope you can help us grow.

How to  Take Advantage of the Teaching
Moments Sports Can Offer

While getting your children involved in sports is definitely a great move for them physically, there's a lot more that you and your child can get out of their involvement in sports. Sports involvement is definitely a great way to combat the rise of obesity in America today, but even more important are some of the incredible life lessons that sports and positive parenting can bring home to your child. Allowing your child to get involved in a sport opens the door for them to learn some important lessons. Of course, it's up to you as a parent to help kids apply the lessons they learn playing sports to other areas of life. Don't let these teaching moments slip by you. Here are just a few of the lessons that you can bring home to your child through their involvement in sports.

Lesson #1 – The Strength of Working as a Team

One of the most important lessons that kids can learn when involved in sports is the strength of working as a team. Playing a sport allows kids to learn about setting team goals, team cooperation to achieve goals, how to take turns, and more. This helps kids develop socially and emotionally, and can help them prepare for times later in life where working as a team will be important. This type of development is important to how your child ends up working with others in their life, such as teachers, friends, family, and even classmates. Don't let this opportunity get by you. Find ways at home that you can continue to encourage teamwork. You can bring this home by getting kids involved in tasks at home, explaining how every person in the family is part of a team playing towards the goal of a clean home.

Lesson #2 – Everyone Brings Something to the Game

Another important lesson you can teach your child through sports is that everyone brings something to the game. Not every child performs each task well within a team. One may be great at running the bases, another great at catching, while another is excellent at strategy. Kids need to learn that while others may be better at one task than they are, everyone has something unique that they bring to the game. This is a lesson that can help your child develop more confidence and self esteem. Don't allow your child to focus on the weaknesses of others, but help them look at the strengths of others. This will help them to realize that while they have shortcomings of their own, they also have skills that come naturally and areas where they excel. As they grow older, it will be important that they are able to be confident in what they bring to the table, whether it's at school or later on the job.

Lesson #3 – Practice Brings Results

Kids need to learn that practice brings results, and sports is one of the best ways to teach your child this lesson. When playing a sport, kids must realize that in order to perfect a skill, they have to practice again and again. As they see improvement, this personal achievement can help them to develop a better self image. With a bit of guidance from you, your kids can learn that this is a lesson that can be applied to anything in life they want to achieve. Explain to your child why they need to practice and how this practice will help them to achieve their end goal.

Lesson #4 – How to Handle Constructive Criticism

Something that is often difficult for kids to handle is criticism. A good coach is going to give them some constructive feedback from time to time. While this is not always easy, you can help your child to learn an important lesson here – how to handle constructive criticism. Just because they are given some feedback on how they can improve doesn't mean they have failed, and this is something you need to communicate with your child. When kids learn this lesson, they'll be more receptive to feedback and advice from others through their life. Just make sure that you as a parent are not constantly tearing apart your child's game and criticizing how they do. Allow their coach to offer feedback. You're there to offer praise and support.

Lesson #5 – Grace When Winning

It's important that kids learn about grace when winning. When they win a game, it's easy for kids to try to rub it in the face of the opposing team, which is definitely not the attitude you want your child to learn in life. Use these winning moments to teach your child how to gracefully win. Sure, they can be excited that they win, but they still need to have good sportsmanship, being kind to the other team. No one likes someone who is always boasting and shoving their wins in the other person's face. When you teach them to win with grace, you'll teach them a valuable lesson that will be helpful later in life as well.

Lesson #6 – Losing the Right Way

Of course, your child probably won't end up winning every game, which is where another life lesson comes into play. Kids need to learn to lose the right way as well. It is easy for kids to have a bad attitude when they lose or to even try to blame others for the loss. You can use these moments to teach your child how to accept a loss. Teach them to congratulate others when they win and instead of criticizing, try to find ways that they can do better next time. No one will always win in life, but it's what you do with those losses that really will count.

Eight Strategies to Teach Kids How to Handle Disappointment and Lose like a Winner

These are just a few of the teachable moments and important lessons that you can help teach your children as they get involved in sports. Sports can truly provide a great way for you to help your child build their self esteem as well as their character. Don't allow these opportunities to slip away, but find ways that sports and positive parenting can be combined to teach your child lessons that will be important throughout their life.

If you are expecting a baby, you have a new baby, or you already have several children of your own, you may be wondering if there really is a difference between raising boys and girls. Is there really such a big difference there or is it actually the ideas that we get from society as to how each gender should be raised? In reality, when you think about which gender is harder to raise, usually your ideas are skewed based upon the child who is causing you frustration at the time. In fact, you'll find that boys and girls both present their own unique difficult challenges while you are raising them.

Every Child is an Individual

First, you need to realize that every child, whether boy or girl, is an individual. The personality that your child is born with has a big impact on how difficult it is to raise your child. Of course, your influence and their environment also plays a role in their development. From birth, every parent usually deal with girls and boys in a different way. While all of these factors combine together to make up your child, there are no hard and fast rules that can be used on girls or boys, since every one has individual traits.

Differences in Development

Of course, while every child is different, there is a difference in the development of boys and girls. Each gender develops at a different rate. Girls grow and their bran develops differently than boys. According to researchers, parents often raise boys and girls differently because of these differences in their development. From birth, girls and boys seem to be wired different, which leads to different types of parenting on the two genders. In the end, these differences in development really shows that the debate regarding the gender that is harder to parent has no real answer. It all depends at the stage in development you are looking at and the specific actions and situations that you are dealing with as a parent.

Dealing with Discipline

When it comes to discipline, this is one area where boys are often more difficult to deal with and girls are a bit easier. There is actually a reason behind this though. Studies have shown that from birth girls have better hearing and boys don't have hearing that is quite as sensitive. Girls have hearing that is more sensitive and their brains develop verbally faster as well. This means that girls respond faster to discipline, while boys are not as verbal and may require more than just a verbal warning from you when you are disciplining them.

Communication

Wondering who is more difficult to communicate with while you're a parent? This is one area where things can change. Usually boys are more difficult to communicate with while they are younger, but as they grow older, girls become the more difficult ones to communicate with. When girls are born, usually they are more people oriented, where boys love action more than communication. Boys often are slower to talk and develop a vocabulary. However, once girls get a bit older this changes. Since girls are automatically good at communicating, often they put more energy into it, which can lead to drama. In most cases, if you establish a routine of communication with your daughter while she is young, in the future it will be easier for the two of you to continue communicating.

Personal Safety

Personal safety is an issue when you are parenting and most parents report that this is an area where girls are easier and boys are more difficult. Boys are usually more aggressive and tend to be more physical. Their brains enjoy pleasure when they take risks, which can lead to problems with their safety. Usually parents have to keep a close eye on boys, since they naturally take more risks. However, while girls can be easier to deal with here, it's a good idea to encourage girls to take a few more risks than they usually do.

Self Esteem Issues

When it comes to healthy self esteem, boys tend to be a little easier. Often it is girls that have a more difficult time and it's tougher to parent a girl when it comes to this issue. Every child needs to develop a good self image but girls are more likely to deal with a lack of confidence as well as insecurity. Although body image can be a problem for some boys, usually it is females that have more of a problem with their body image. This means that parents need to send healthy messages about exercise, diet, and body.

As you can see, there is really no evidence to show that parenting one gender is easier than parenting the other gender. There are challenges to face whether you are raising boys and girls. Of course, the challenges often occur at different times and over different issues, which may make some parents think that one child is easier for them to parent. Often it is boys that are more difficult to parent in the beginning, but once the preteen years come along, this often switches and the girls usually become me difficult to parent. Instead of focusing on which gender is easier to parent, it's a good idea to focus on specific challenges of each gender and learn what you can do as a parent to get through these issues so you can do a good job parenting either gender.

…and How Emotion Coaching Can Help Us Overcome Them

Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT

www.TheGoToMom.TV

Tired of the tantrums, the constant fighting, the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach after you’ve yelled at your child? You’re not alone. Emotion coaching is the path to raising healthier, happier kids—and helps you get past some common parenting problems.

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we’ll ever have. More than anything we want to help our kids grow into healthy, happy adults. Yet when they don’t behave the way we want them to, it’s all too easy to resort to tactics we’re not proud of. Yelling. Threatening. Even spanking. We use these discredited discipline techniques even though we can clearly see that they are not effective. And not only do they make our kids feel bad, they make us feel even worse. And yet, because we don’t know any good alternatives, we stay stuck in the cycle of negativity…and nothing ever changes.

Good news, There is a parenting technique that lays out a loving, nurturing path for raising happy, well-adjusted, well-behaved children. It’s called emotion coaching and it feels good to parents and kids alike. And best of all, it works.

At its heart, emotion coaching is about teaching your child how to recognize and express the way he is feeling in an appropriate way. My book, The Go-To Mom's Parents' Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children teaches parents how to coach and when to coach.

Once you are able to help your child to understand and communicate his feelings according to his developmental abilities, you’ll see a change in the way you interact with one another. Not only will you begin to see results, you’ll feel great about the relationship you are nurturing with your child.

Emotion coaching is a gentle, open-hearted alternative to old-fashioned, often aggressive discipline that can be used with babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and young school-age children. Ultimately, it gives parents the know-how and the confidence to build strong, productive relationships with their children.

So if emotion coaching is the answer we’ve all been waiting for, why aren’t more parents doing it? I believe there are four common roadblocks that trip up even the most well-meaning parents. Read on to see if these obstacles are holding you down and to see how emotion coaching can help you to parent more successfully:

ROADBLOCK #1: You Default to One of Two Extremes: Control-Based or Hands-Off Parenting.

Picture this: It’s late afternoon and you’ve (finally!) found five minutes to make the phone call that’s been on your list all day. Meanwhile, your children, who are admittedly going a little stir crazy, are running up and down the hallway, feet pounding on the wood floor and yelling after one another as they play a raucous and rowdy game of “tag.” As the noise level rises, your patience wanes, and you feel your frustration begin to boil over to near-combustion levels.

So now what do you do? If you’re like many parents, it depends on which of the two “traditional” choices you gravitate toward. Maybe you blow a gasket, screaming at your kids to pipe down and go to their rooms—or else. Or maybe you simply raise your white flag—find a way to excuse yourself off the call, sighing heavily and throwing your hands up in surrender—because kids will be kids no matter what you do.

Emotion Coaching Solution: Find the middle road.

There is a middle road here—and emotion coaching provides a solution that works for both the parents and the kids. In this particular case, there’s no need for punishment, but the kids should not be allowed to disrupt their mother’s phone call either.

Instead of yelling or ignoring, the emotion coach mom takes a deep breath and says, "Guys, you are being really loud. I can see that you have tons of energy—so can you take it outside, please? I’ll come out and play with you as soon as I’m off the phone. Right now, I need your help, so please head out back."

ROADBLOCK #2: You Discount, Minimize, or Deny Your Child’s Feelings.

Discounting, minimizing, or denying a child’s statements or feelings are knee-jerk reactions for most parents. Everyone does it—and usually without realizing they are doing it in the first place. The reason is that we have a tendency to put our own feelings and issues before our children’s.

For example, if your child complains of being hungry thirty minutes after you ate lunch together, you think about the fact that you just ate, and you aren’t hungry, so there is no way that she can be hungry either. Rather than stopping to consider how she truly feels, you discount her feelings and brush off her request with a dismissive, “Oh, you couldn’t possibly be hungry!”

Or, for example, let’s say Tommy falls down on the playground, and you pick him up, brush him off, and tell him he’s all right. You may think that you are doing the right thing by parenting him to not be overly sensitive and to “get back on the horse.” In actuality, you are (unintentionally) neglecting to think about what emotions that incident may stir up for him: pain, fear, or embarrassment, for example.

Emotion Coaching Solution: Put yourself in their (tiny) shoes.

Emotion coaching teaches us to explore a situation instead of immediately discounting or denying a child’s statement and feelings. As an emotion coach parent, you will always come from a place of empathy. So before you jump in to discount something that your child says, your first thoughts should always be, What is really going on here? What is my child feeling?

So when Tommy falls, you might ask, "Did you hurt yourself? Or are you just scared?"And if he says that he is scared, you should affirm his emotions—tell him that it’s scary to fall down and ask if he wants to come sit with you for a few minutes before returning to play. The key is to be supportive.

ROADBLOCK #3: You Bribe with External Motivation and Rewards.

What parent doesn’t love to reward her children for good behavior? Sticker charts, rewards for good behavior, and, let’s face it, straight-up bribery are all tactics that are nearly as old as parenting itself. If you want to get your kid to pick up his room, then you reward him with TV time or a new toy. If you are working to potty train your toddler, then you may reward her for a “job” well done with a sticker or M&M.

However, that asking your child to behave a certain way for a treat is generally not a good idea. In the case of the potty-training toddler, if she has accidents and can’t get the reward, she will decide not to value it anymore. And as for the room-cleaning bribe, well, we must all learn to cooperate in life without expecting something in return—so giving external rewards teaches the opposite.

Emotion Coaching Solution: Re-think your reward system.

Parents are often perplexed about what to do instead of offering up a reward, and the solution is simple: Offer your attention instead. If your two-and-a-half-year-old doesn’t want to leave the park and you are already running late for an appointment, resist the urge to bribe her by saying, “If you come with Mommy now, I’ll give you a cookie.” Instead, try, “I know you like to play at the park, and you’re mad that we have to leave. I’m sorry, but we have somewhere we need to be. Can you help Mommy pack up our things?”

While she may still be upset about leaving, your understanding and empathy will help her feel validated, and her anger will subside more quickly. And next time you need to get out the door, she won’t expect a treat in return for her cooperation.

ROADBLOCK #4: You Use Negative Consequences as Punishment.

When children misbehave, parents feel as though we must lay down a consequence for their action in hopes of deterring it from happening again in the future. The problem with that approach is that all we’re seeing is the behavior itself—not the reason behind the behavior. Perhaps they’re bursting with pent up energy, they’re bored, they’re overtired, or they need your attention.

Spanking, yelling, and time-outs don’t offer a replacement behavior—they don’t teach our children what to do instead of misbehaving. They really only serve to teach our children to hit and yell. They breed resentment, not accomplishment. And neither you nor your child comes out of that situation feeling very good.

Emotion Coaching Solution: Use natural consequences.

I encourage parents to assess the situation at hand before throwing out an unconnected negative consequence. (“You won’t come in for dinner? Fine, no TV tomorrow!”) I'm not against consequences; I simply believe they should be natural: For instance, a child who doesn’t come in for dinner when his mother calls him may miss out on dessert because his tardiness pushed his dinnertime later.

Then, according to the emotion coaching method, the mother might empathize and discuss solutions with her son. “This really stinks. How can we be sure to get you inside for dinner on time?”

With emotion coaching, you empathize, talk about what went wrong, and neutralize all the negative feelings, then come up with a plan. The key to having cooperative children is to encourage them to be motivated internally. Children do things because they benefit personally from doing so, not because they’re threatened or coerced.

Successful emotion coaching takes time and diligence, but so does parenting in general,” says Blaine. “The most important thing to remember is that it’s not going to work for you every single time—so don’t be discouraged the first time you don’t have a success. If you put in at least 50 percent effort, the results will be favorable—and your relationship with your child will be stronger and healthier.

About the Author:

Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT, is the executive producer of the online parenting show www.TheGoToMom.TV and author of The Go-To Mom’s Parents’ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children and The Internet Mommy.

Kimberley is a national child development expert and a licensed family and child therapist specializing in working with children newborn to six years old. Kimberley is currently the social marketing director for a Los Angeles-based early childhood mental health campaign (Project ABC) funded by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. She has launched a national campaign to help American parents be all that they can be in order to give their children a healthy and fair start. You might have seen Kimberley review products, discuss the perils of parenting, blog, vlog, and take on mommypreneurship across the Internet.

About the Book:

The Go-To Mom’s Parents’ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, 2010, ISBN: 978-0-470-58497-2, $16.95, www.TheGoToMom.com) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.

Now Available at the More4kids Parenting Store:

Although many people seem to think a sensitive child is a shy child, this is not always the case. In many cases, a child that is sensitive is a child that sees things in a deeper way and shyness may not be the problem at all. Raising a child that is sensitive is not an easy task, but with good parenting skills, you can raise this child to grow up to be an adult that is insightful and creative. However, the problem occurs when parents are drawn into certain negative reactions that make it more difficult for your child. Children considered sensitive actually have a nervous system that is highly sensitive, and it is important to learn how to best deal with this child so you can help them become a productive adult in the future.

Signs of a Sensitive Child

There are a variety of different traits that a sensitive child will display. While your child may not have all the signs, children who are sensitive usually display several of the following signs for a substantial amount of time. Every child may react in similar ways from time to time, so as you look at the signs, only count it as a sign for your child if it is true for a moderate amount of time in your child's life. Here are several of those signs to watch out for:

- Notices even very slight odors that are unusual

- Prefers play that is quiet

- Learns best with correction that is gentle instead of punishment that is strong

- Feels things in a very deep way

- Has a difficult time with change

- Asks questions that are thought provoking and deep

- Is easily startled

- Shows a lot of intuition

- Notices when others are distressed

- Performs better when there are no strangers around

- Ensures safety before climbing

- Notices things that are very subtle

Challenges of Raising a Sensitive Child

There are a variety of different challenges that can occur when you are raising a sensitive child. These challenges often occur because a child that is very sensitive finds many situations in life to be over stimulating, while a non-sensitive child would not be bothered by these situations. One big challenge is the deep meltdowns emotionally that can occur with a child that is sensitive. Their emotions are very sensitive, which means emotions can come out even over seemingly simple issues. Another challenge is that your child may be over cautious and they may fear situations or people that are unknown to them. Often they feel uncomfortable with places that are crowded, noisy, and new to them and they also can be easily over stimulated.

Strengths of a Sensitive Child

Of course, while there are challenges to parenting a child that is sensitive, it is important that you take a look at the strengths that these children have. Many parents make the mistake of referring to sensitivity as a negative trait. In reality, children who are sensitive have strengths that other children do not. Looking at their strengths can help you better parent your child as well. Children who are more sensitive have strengths like being patient and kind. They are often very creative and usually have a great sense of humor. Other strengths include intuition, wisdom, being conscientious, intellectual, and even very spiritual. Begin looking at your child in the light of their strengths and you'll be able to parent them more effectively, since you'll better understand where they are coming from as a child.

Tips for Parenting Your Sensitive Child

If you have established that you are parenting sensitive child, you may be wondering what you can do. Here is a look at some tips and strategies that can help you raise a child that is highly sensitive.

Tip #1 – Accept Your Child – First, it's important that you accept your child they way they are. Don't try to change your child – it only makes things get worse. When you accept your child you'll help them understand that they are okay just the way they are, which is important to every child.

Tip #2 – Use Positive Terms – When you are discussing or even thinking about your child's sensitive temperament, make sure you use positive terms. Don't use terms that are negative or your child may feel like they are flawed. Instead of using words like "shy," use words like "reflective" or "focused."

Tip #3 – Build Self Esteem and Avoid Shame – It is so important that you help your child build self esteem and avoid making them feel ashamed. Children that are sensitive are very critical of themselves already. Try to raise self esteem with praise and avoid disciplining with shame.

Tip #4 – Discipline Carefully – Discipline of the sensitive child should always be very careful. Starting out with clear rules can help. Usually simply talking to your child about a problem is enough to help them correct their behavior. You should never use discipline that is overly harsh, since it won't work with these children.

Tip #5 – Help Your Child Make Friends – Sometimes sensitive kids have a harder time making friends. Helping them make a couple friends can be helpful. Consider arranging playdates that are one on one or help your child become friends with other children who are also sensitive.

Tip #6 – Learn to Push and Protect at the Right Times - There are times to push your child a bit and other times they need protection. Learn to know which is needed. While protection is important in some cases, there are many times when a little push will help them.

Tip #7 – Realize When Overstimulation is Causing Undesirable Behavior – It may be easy to lash out at your child for their behavior. This is why you need to realize when overstimulation is causing the undesirable behavior to occur. Get to the root of the problem by eliminating the over stimulation.

While there are unique challenges that come with parenting a sensitive child, there are also unique benefits and rewards that parents can enjoy as well. Work together and learn from each other. With some patience and some helpful tips you'll be able to do a good job at parenting the sensitive child.

Sometimes being a parent isn't easy, whether you're a mom or a dad. There are challenges that occur every day, and there are times when you don't know where to turn. Sometimes you wonder if you're doing the right thing or if you are even a good parent. Every parent goes through that. It's perfectly normal. Maybe you feel that if you could just vent your frustration, have someone to talk to, and get a bit of advice, that parenting would be a bit easier. Today you can find that help through a new parenting resource, known as the Parenting Assistance Line, or PAL. Here is a closer look at this excellent resource for parents and how it can help you.

What is PAL?

First, you may be wondering what exactly PAL is. Well, it is a Parenting Assistance Line that has been developed as a collaboration between the Alabama Children's Trust Fund and the University of Alabama Child Development Resources. The First Lady of Alabama, Patsy Riley helped to create this special resource for parents. There is a special toll free number that can be called by parents, and when you call, a specialist in parenting resources answers the phone. They will listen to your problems or difficulties and they can also offer you some support and information. When you call, you also can ask for free literature that is related to the specific concerns you are dealing with as a parent.

Who Can Use PAL?

So, who can use this Parenting Assistance Line? This line is designed for parents – any parent that needs some support or information on becoming a more confident and better parent. Not only can parents use this line, but grandparents and other relatives can use the line to get helpful information on the children in their lives. The specialists on the line can help with information and support regarding children from age birth all the way through adolescence.

Why Use PAL?

Why should you use this Parenting Assistance Line? The answer is simple.

Parents have a tough job. There are days when you may feel like you can't go on. Sometimes you may just wish you had someone to talk to that would understand. In fact, you may even feel that you are being a bad parent. It is at these times when you really need someone to talk to that will listen and help remind you that you are a good parent. In some cases, if you just have someone that you can talk to, cry to, or someone to ask questions of, it can make a huge difference.

You'll also find that PAL has a wealth of experience dealing with all kinds of parenting issues. They have answered over 8000 calls already, and they are trained in all manner of topics. Just a few of the issues they are qualified to help you with include divorce, potty training, stress, child development, your own self esteem, and more. If you have issues that are more serious, those taking the calls can refer you to another specialist or service to give you the help that you need. The great thing is that this resource is totally free and when you call, you can know that everything you say is confidential.

More Information

The phone number to cal to reach the Parenting Assistance Line is 1-866-962-3030. When you call, your call will be answered by a parenting resource specialist that is trained to deal with your parenting questions and problems. There are certain times when you can call. The line is open 8am through 8pm every Monday through Friday, although you can call and leave a message at anytime. You can also visit the PAL website to find out more about what they have to offer.

They also provide on the site a contact page where you can submit questions and choose whether you want to be answered by mail, phone, or by email.